here, there... and i don't know where

cheesy

2009-10-07T10:59:00.005+08:00

If you haven't noticed it yet, there are 2 topics recurring in this blog: HUMOR and SEX. Humor is mostly based on self-humiliating experiences of any sort while sex nowadays is just a heart-wrenching, soul-ripping, energy-draining fantasy I created while singularly stimulting sexual gratification on my bed.

The least discussed topic, I dare say, is those that relate to emotional sentiments or generally, matters of the heart. These are things I specially reserve to the seclusion of my most intimate partner. That is why it's a big deal for me to publicly talk about cheesy things. However, there are times, the rarest of instances, that I do post cheesy blog entries.

Ylan, a blog friend as well as an ex-colleague and a good friend, reminded me of this blog post I have long forgotten. She emailed it to me and the first impression I have when I read it was "Who is this dork that wrote all this crap?". It turned out the dork was me. Tee-hee. I immediately scoured the blog site last evening. Lo and behold! I've written a single entry in it. Read it below. It exudes all mushiness in me. If my memory serves me well, this was the last mushy thing I've written in public, perchance the last one.

I wrote it 4 years ago around 8 in the evening at exactly the same date as today. Before proceeding, I urge you to make your vomit bag handy in case you want to puke due to excessive intake of mushy words.

This one is titled...

** begin cheesy post **

side effect.

Confused. That's what I am.

Love. That's what I'm confused of.

I tried searching. But deep down I cannot see.

Questions clinging my thoughts. Is my heart finally free? Am I ready?

Before I sleep and after I wake up, I ask this.

My heart won't give an answer. My brain's too dumb for this.

Bind me with your spell again.

Show me your smile.

I want to feel that warmth. That passion.

Let's fly away. To that familiar place.

Take me there once again.

Oh, Love! Take me. Take me away.

** end cheesy post **

Syet!! I've filled my first bag already.

to yes or to no

2009-04-22T23:17:00.003+08:00

This is a recap of a recent conversation I had with one of my project-mates in our office. Because of some technical jargons that you may not understand, I used apple and box as analogy to the discussion that happened.

me: Is there an apple in this box?

project-mate: What do you want to do with the apple?

me: I just wanted to know so I can give this box to Mr. Appleman if there's an apple in here.

project-mate: Why do you need to give that box to Mr. Appleman?

me: Look. I'm not going to evaluate how you put the apple in this box. I just want to know if there's an apple inside this box.

project-mate: Do you want an apple? I can give you an apple.

me: You have an apple in there? Why didn't you put it inside this box?

project-mate: Tell me why you need the apple.

me: It's for Mr. Appleman. I want to give this box to Mr. Appleman.

project-mate: I can give you an apple if you want it.

me: No. This box. We're talking about this box. Is there an apple in here?

project-mate: If you need an apple just tell me and I can give you an apple.

me: Liten to me. All I wanted to know is this box. Is there an apple in here?

project-mate: Tell me why you need an apple then I will give you an apple.

me: Are you saying there's no apple in this box?

project-mate: If you want an apple, it's here. I can give it to you.

me: You're saying I can't give this box to Mr. Appleman, right?

project-mate: You can say that.

me: That's all I wanted from you. It's really that simple.

I know what you're thinking. Goddamn uncle-fcuker crappy-minded piss-drinking dim-whitted shitwhore!!! It's a fcuking YES or NO question for fcuking out loud. Why does it have to be that fcuking complicated to answer? And besides, the world will not fcuking melt if you just fcuking say NO right away. In fact, it could have made things fcuking easier for both of us.

Situations like this made me think about that cool Mark XIX Desert Eagle semi-automatic and just shoot this annoying asshole point-blank between the eyes. It would've made things easier.

Hay! I miss the "great ED team" in my previous company.

back

2009-02-17T22:22:00.004+08:00

I'm back!!!!!!!!! Oh God how I miss this blog like a desert misses rain.

It's been ages since I last visited here. Within those period I fathered a child, went to prison for 5 days for public acts of lasciviousness, and took a couple of weeks vacation to Bora-Bora in the French Polynesia.

But you know me, I like to make lousy pun for a joke and am also a big liar. Don't believe a single word I said up to this point.

Although, I like you to believe that during the time I was away from blogosphere, I was in a secluded private resort lounging lazily under a tropical sun while receiving a soothing Balinese or Lomi Lomi massage by a brunette, and reading a good book with a glass of Mojito at the side. My only concern would come from choosing a vintage Bordeoux or a frisky Burgundy to pair with grilled lobster and filet mignon for dinner.

Of course, in a world like that financial meltdown doesn't exist, poverty is virtually unknown, and corporate slavery is totally unheard of. But it doesn't hurt to wish, right? After all, that is the only thing a poor country boy like me can do for free. Well, maybe aside from peeping on a girls' restroom.

The sad truth is I never went to a vacation save for the Chinese New Year week where our company declared a week-long shutdown. I brave going to Cebu despite a depleted bank account account due to my vacation in Hong Kong last December. After that my savings comes so close to extinction. But like everytime, I'll survive...... Oh syet!!! Now Gloria Gaynor won't stop singing in my head. "...Go on now go, Walk out the door, Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore..." Before I'll decide to get up and do a two-step, it's better I'll continue this writing.

Where was I?...... Oh yeah! Going back to Cebu. I was carrying a 20-kg bag, 2 hand carry bags and plastic bag with a toy in it. Except for the smaller hand carry bag that contains a pair of jeans and 3 pieces of shirt, everything else was for my family and friends. I was cursing while I push and shove the heavy bags from the apartment down to the street. I was cursing while I loaded them in the taxi. I was cursing all the way to the airport checkin counter, specially louder when the counter girl declared I have to pay for my excess baggage. Right there and then I decided never again would I carry so heavy luggages for other people.

The very same day I arrived in Cebu, I went to Mom's with all of my aunties and uncles surrounding me. Then I started to hand over the gifts. At that moment, all the pain and hassles during the trip melted away along with the smiles on their faces. Any sort of fatigue from carrying those bags were smoothed down by the heartfelt thank yous and kisses. I realized it was all worth it.

I would love to write more but my work is calling me like a bitchy nagger for a wife yelling at her drunk husband to go home or else... See you around.

tardy

2009-01-12T17:28:00.005+08:00

WAAAAAAAZZZZZUP, mah hommies!!!!!

This could be the tardy-est greeting you'll ever get for this year but let me say it anyway. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! Well, the lunar new year is still two weeks around the block so it ain't really that bad. How do they say it in Chinese? Kung Hei Fat Choi? Or something that sounds like that. Whatever.

Anyway, I've been away from this blog for quite a long time because for almost a couple of weeks since I arrived from my 2-week vacation, I'm still mesmerized by the experience I had in Hong Kong. It was both exhilarating and emotional.

Exhilarating because it is my first time visiting the place.

Emotional not because I was way overwhelmed and almost into tears upon the very first time I stepped out from the train station in Mong Kok area to be greeted by a throng of people passing me here and there, and bumping me at times. The sea of people walking down the street is comparable to that of NY Times Square save those protesters on side streets that sometimes go nude. It's like that corner in Colon St. and Jones Ave. but with 10 times more people.

Emotional because of that person I met there and the things I thought I'd lost over time had never really gone away. Then there's that dreadful airport goodbye scene.

I'll keep you updated once I can spare more time and maybe post a few pictures. And oh, I'll be going back home end of this month so see you all suckers and motherfuckers out there.

friday

2008-12-05T13:46:00.004+08:00

Today could be one of the best Fridays ever in my whole professional life. The director is on leave. My manager is on leave. My program manager is on leave. My senior engineer is on leave. Seems like the whole management team is on leave. I'll pray that they keep doing this on a regular basis. Say, once every couple of weeks. That will help increase work productivity, you know. It will ease down stress thus allowing workers to think more creatively and work more efficiently.

That said, I better drop off all this busy-with-work pretensions that I normally wear for the entire work week and start doing all the non-work related things I lined up. Download Naruto, post blog entry, download Ashlynn Brooke videos, go to restroom and sleep, download mp3s, call HP callcenter and flirt with call agents, lock self inside a conference room and conquer all kingdoms in War Diary mobile game and just say I'm waiting for an incoming call if someone asks what the hell I'm doing inside, go for one-hour coffee break, go to restrooms that haven't masturbated yet and jack off, and so many many more.

If only I have a fubu here in the office then I definitely would call this the best Friday ever. I wanted to act this scene that keeps on playing inside my head. Sweaty, naked and on top of the office heavy duty printer while oscillating at 2 thrusts per second.

top

2008-12-04T11:49:00.010+08:00

My laptop at work, which I used to type this, is soooooo fucking slow, man. After powering up first thing in the morning, I leave it here to complete its startup sequence, go for coffee and sandwich at the canteen, & after 15 minutes come back to see that it's still "Applying computer settings". I need to wait 30 minutes more before I'm able to login. Now logging in and going to my desktop is another hell of waiting game. If I count correctly - I can do a quickie, run on the treadmill for 8 minutes, take a shit and a shower, eat breakfast and maybe go to a grocery to buy milk and oats before I can use this magnificent piece of crap.

The first time I open my outlook for emails is like lining up in Philippine government offices. It would take you forever before you'll be entertained. But I'm more into this Zen thing now. No more screaming of "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" and brandishing both my middle fingers on the inanimate screen then smashing my optical mouse on the desk table. I just stay calm, look blankly at the monitor and think about the seashore and the cool summer breeze massaging my bare skin.

If I come to think of it, my laptop works exactly the same as me. It's so dumb during early morning and only gets 30% less dumber during the rest of the day. Maybe that's the reason I'm not complaining to IT yet - I see myself in it.

Now let me come to the juicier part. The reason really why I blog about my laptop is to show off my new desktop with its equally new 26" LCD TV monitor.

That's 2.66GHz quad-core CPU speed with 1,333Hz FSB speed. Oh yes, it's orgasmic. There's plenty of processor power to run a word processor and an image viewer at the same. And oh, did I mention it comes with wireless keyboard and mouse?

That's me after orgasm. As you can see I don't have a PC table yet. That will come this weekend if I can make my lazy ass strut its way to a furniture shop. During weekends, I'm so disinclined to do any kind of exertion even a single Newton force, except if it's something to do with a push and pull pattern that can ultimately end to discharging of male fluid while looking up at the ceiling and screaming the vowel 'a' or 'A' in a prolonged manner, depending on the audible quality of the room wall.

Ain't she a beauty? I'm almost into tears.

Jenna Jameson in full HD or Briana Banks in 1080p digital resolution. It's pure bliss.

torture

2008-11-19T19:02:00.004+08:00

Huhuhuhuhuhu... I'm like a molested cocksucker today. Pain is all over my body. I can't even walk straight. I was just jogging on the treadmill for 5 minutes straight last evening then rested for 30 minutes before cooling down for 15 minutes more. You can never imagine the agony I went through for 5 minutes on that equipment. I almost had a heart attack. Then this morning when I woke up I got this terrible bodily suffering and almost crawled my way to the bathroom.

You know why I let my lazy body go through all this physical torture?????............ Obviously you don't... Well, it's because of this friend I'm gonna meet next month. I'm getting all stressed out again. You, friend-that-I'm-gonna-meet-next-month, better say something nice when you see me. Don't ever, EVER forget to praise me of my bulging biceps, my nicely carved chest and my chiseled abs although they're all make-believe but just please say something pleasing to the ears, okay??? I'm fine with "Oh! What a toned body you have there!?!" or "Damn! You're packing muscles all over." It's the least you can offer me for all this hard work I'm doing for our rendezvous.

I stayed in the office until 11PM, you know, so I can use the gym room all by myself without having to deal with sharing equipments. Arrived home at around midnight to eat my second dinner then went to bed exhausted. That's pretty much how my boring days go on for the past 4 days and I no longer have time for kinky things. So sad. I did it all for you so it's quite justifiable to up the ante. Maybe I'll get a praise and a kiss from you, friend-that-I'm-gonna-meet-next-month??? I'm begging here, okay?????

Now, it's more of a mental torture thinking that I have to run 6 minutes, I repeat, 6 minutes on that machine after work. *Sigh* The things you do for some people.

multiple accounts

2008-11-17T19:20:00.006+08:00

How do you people do it? How can you have 3 or even 6 mobile numbers and remain sane? How do you maintain 4 or more email addresses and be able to cope up with it? How do you update your friendster account as well as your multiply, facebook, myspace and tagged accounts? How oh how did you manage to do it? Please tell me.

The most number of cellphones I have is 2. Even that it's no easy feat for me to carry them both at the same time and be able to reply all SMS messages from both phone. Now that the other phone is broken, it's even harder to maintain 2 SIM cards with just 1 phone. I have to switch between them back and forth. What if a very important SMS, say an orgy invitation, was sent to one SIM while I'm using the other? The idea drives me nuts that I have to switch SIM cards every couple of hours or so. It stressed me out. Getting stressed out because of unknowingly practising celibacy due to completing mountain load of work-related tasks is understandable. But getting stressed out because of plain paranoia is like going to bed with a hot date and not reaching orgasm even after an hour and a half of serious pumping. It pissed you off eternally specially if that counterboy is knocking on the door because your 2-hour short time is up.

One time, I went out to buy dinner for a few friends and relatives but I was only able to contact few because the time I look for their contact number, I got around 6 different combinations to choose from. I'm no psychic to know which number they use so I skipped them and moved to the next contact.

I only maintain 2 email addresses, 2 friendster accounts and I'm planning to delete the other one 'coz I find it quite difficult to juggle between accounts. My multiply account is just there so I can download sound files until multiply disable that feature. I once have a myspace account but I guess it was deleted after months of inactivity. As of now I'm still in deep contemplation of signing up for facebook. Maybe if my friends will start posting their nude beach photos in there then I will sign up in an instant.

The idea of having so many mobile numbers, so many email addresses, so many profile sharing accounts bugged me at times. The way those emos and kawaii poses puzzled my limited imagination. If only by some kind of miraculous stroke my IQ will increase by 10 (62 plus 10, that's 72), I'm sure I will get the insight behind all these.

thank y'all

2008-11-14T18:02:00.006+08:00

First of all, thank you. The comments, phone calls, overflowing emails and text messages ALMOST made this emo inside me go away. Some even go further by offering me invitation for a sizzling sexual intercourse in a bath tub. I still have to find me a tub though so I can picture out the scenario laid out to me. Raised hips, one hand under the leg, the other on the tub ledge then put one leg on shoulder while the other is supporting the weight. This is really confusing. Where can I find a tub? Unfortunately, the venue is on the other side of the planet. So I have to graciously decline with a thank you and an afterword of accepting the invitation once I can afford the plane ticket.

Your concern ALMOST made my day. It's like half of what I really needed. After a passionate night of satisfying my carnal desires, I laid down in bed thinking this is the other half of what's missing for the past 2 weeks. Lack of this is what made me a freakin' emo. So there. I'm happy to tell you that I'm fine now and abandoning any kind of suicidal scheme in the near future. Next time I turn emo, I'll no longer want your i-miss-you's and stay-strong. Just fuck the hell out of me then I'll be fine.

Back to regular programming.

For the past few minutes, I've been writing about Bose-Einstein condensates (BEC), superconductivity and absolute zero temperature of minus 459.67 degrees Fahrenheit. All because I got excited after reading an online article in Smithsonian.com released on January of this year regarding the subject. Then I realized, what the heck am I babbling about? Then quickly deleted the rest of the entry before anyone else gets a hint that I'm one of 'em nerds. Damn! I've even come up with a number like minus 459.66666666666666432104321 degrees Fahrenheit as the temperature used by a physicist - a word synonymous with nerd or geek - in Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge to achieve BEC. You know that an experiment used BEC to stop light at a standstill. Imagine that. Okay, I'll quit yapping about this already.

Anyway, let's set aside this topic and spare ourselves with nosebleeds and headaches. But if you want to read the article, click here.

Let's move on instead to meaningful topics like Lindsay Lohan publicly admitting her relationship with another woman, DJ Samantha Ronson. I read her interview online and she seemed to be in-love and behaving like a boring American. Planning to buy a house and settling, and talking about how she wasted all her money with those wild parties. And I thought I'm gonna read about how she likes to be manhandled in bed or her favorite Kama Sutra position.

Geez! Her rehab worked? I guess I won't be seeing raunchy pictures of her anytime soon. A tale of wild girl gone good. So who's next?

p.s.
Sorry, Aneshka and Gwenn, and to all my other physicist friends out there. I never for a nanosecond moment thought to label you as nerds or geeks. My comment above refers to all other physicists except you, guys. You're by far the coolest physicists I know on this planet. I will never meet another person again who can recite the periodic table of elements on one breath.

miss me?

2008-11-07T23:33:00.004+08:00

D'yo miss me? I was away from blogosphere for quite a time because of some heavy work pressure. But this time I'm not gonna complain. Nobody will be labeled as bitch today. At least this company can get something out of me aside from warming my Steelcase desk chair for 8 hours while staring at a blank document because I just don't know how to begin with my work. So I'll ask you again. D'yo miss me?

These days I was wondering if there's a single soul out there who misses me aside from my Mom, aunties, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces and neighbors because they always say they missed me so so soooooooooo much every time I called home that sometimes it scared me and made me doubt if I'll take that vacation next year for a trip back to Cebu.

For the third time, d'yo miss me? Please say you do and tell me how much you missed me. I badly needed it now. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because of this noisy power supply the kept on staring back at me for 15 hours a day for the last 5 days. It left me feel nauseous once I turned it off and all I could hear is the deafening silence inside the laboratory at eleven o'clock in the evening.

photo courtesy of http://www.jellymuffin.com

No, no, no, no, no. NO!!! I'm not going emo. This is not an emo post. I'm never the emo kind. I grew up during the thrash and glam metal era. Eyeliners, black skinny jeans and a suicidal disposition worn by emos are nothing compared to the wildly teased hair, tighter leather jeans, heavy makeup and debauched lifestyles sported by rockstars during those days. Ozzy will eat 'em emos head off for dinner 'coz he'll think they're made of plastic. Then Gene Simmons, while wagging his tongue, will finish it off by blowing their body to pieces with elaborate pyrotechnics.

Having overly stated my reason for not being an emo, NEVER EVER associate me with one. Well, maybe except for those times when I cried my heart out watching movies like I am Sam and The Notebook, and those extremely rare instances that I got stuck watching Maalaala Mo Kaya because I was too lazy to think of anything else to do and everybody in the house were addicted to it. Damn drama movies. Why does it have to be that heartbreaking?

Once again, this is not an emo post but please...... send me an email or a text message or drop by at the comment box and tell me you missed me or else I'm gonna slash my wrist and watch myself bleed to death while wearing my Chucks and black manicure.

quotes

2008-11-01T09:08:00.001+08:00

Famous quotes by drunk friends. They are that memorable that even after years of substance abuse, energy-draining sexcapades, and long exposure to sunlight, they're still embedded in my head. It's just amazing how an intoxicated mind works. I'm beginning to think alcohol is the key to making our brain work 100%.

But seriously people. Don't ever believe you only use 10% of your brain all the time and that the remaining 90% is just sitting there, waiting to be unlocked. Find the explanation in snopes. It says there that we only use 10% of our brain when we're eating or having sex or watching old videos of Peter North banging Asian hotties. That means when I'm having sex while watching old videos of Peter North, I'm actually using 20% of my brain. Whoa!!! I swear I heard myself speaking Aramaic when I'm about to cum. Who knows if I'm eating popcorn while having sex and watching old videos of Peter North at the same time, I'll be able to recite the hexadecimal value of Pi in 50 decimal places. Or discover a prime number 20 million digits long during orgasm.

Anyway, this won't be that amusing to those who were not in the scene when it all happened. I decided to post it here 'coz I'm so paranoid about getting old and suffering some kind of degenerative disease and forgetting all the good, bad and kinky things I did in my life. I'm even saving like crazy so that when I get old I can have enough dough to pay the nurse with the biggest tits to attend to me in the nursing home.

I can't be sure about the year though. Damn! I know it. Dementia will have me first.

/********** begin quote **********/

"I don't wanna be a physicist. My father wants me to be a physicist. I wanna be a chemist."

- T.G. the physicist, circa 2003

"Let's look at the sides of the two coins."

- AU molmol gang member, circa 2006

"The ledge is becoming inviting."

- M.E.A. the ledge dancer, circa 2003

"We're friends. Rule of thumb for friends. Nobody will go home alone and without saying goodbye."

- E.F. the ex-president, circa 2001

"ahahahaha... I miss him. huhuhu"

- R.L-G. the crying-laughing lady, circa 2004

*vomits* "Wuuuuuuu!! Syeeet! My Italian shoes!!!"

- B.H. the French, shoe connoisseur, circa 2003

"Let's maximize the minimum."

- AU molmol gang member, circa 2005

"Hes gay. I'm in love with a gay guy."

- T.G. the physicist, circa 2003

"Don't touch me. Where's my nurse? I want my nurse."

- E.J.H. the wounded, circa 2003

"I want to wash the plates. Let me wash the plates. Why won't you let me wash the plates?"

- C.D.L.R the plate washer, circa 2003

"Why am I like this?" repeat 12 times

- T.G. the physicist, circa 2003

"Why are they like that?" repeat 14 times

- C.D.L.R. the plate washer, circa 2006

"Where are you? You're so cold. You left me all alone."

- M.E.A. the ledge dancer, circa 2004

"Mom, I'm drunk again. Sorry." *sobs*

- T.G. the physicist, circa 2003

"Oh my God! I'm so drunk." *haaaaarrrrk* Spits on the pool.

- M.E.A. the ledge dancer, circa 2006

"Oh Naked, you're so fine

You're so fine you blow my mind

Get Naked! Get Naked!"
- R.L-G. the crying-laughing lady, circa 2003

"I'm not drunk. We're just drinking, you know... water, coke and whatever."

- S.C-D. the cock-bending virgin, circa 2004

/********** end quote **********/

Aaaaah. The good ol' days. It makes me feel nostalgic. *sniff*

recall

2008-10-30T23:34:00.005+08:00

Don’t you just hate it when you think of something great and grand, and all of a sudden got interrupted. Then after recomposing yourself, you just can’t get back to what you were thinking a while ago. It’s so fucking annoying, right? And it fucking happened to me yesterday evening. I was just brushing my teeth when an extraordinary idea perched on my head. I planned to write it down so that during my free time I can read and marvel at how great my ideas were. When I went inside my room I got distracted with my potential sex partners of the day emailed by an adult website. After browsing the profile of each one of them, I wanted to get back to that great idea I was thinking before that email. And I just can’t fucking recall. I only knew it was a great idea because I only think of great ideas. Never the mediocre and petty ones. Don’t believe me? Okay, I’ll give you an example…. Sex is great…. See? Only great ideas from me!

What if at that time I was thinking about the solution to the global financial meltdown. Or how McCain can overturn Obama’s lead in the polls within 72 hours. Or how to pump up viewership on Pushing Daisies so ABC won’t have to sack it. Or maybe the correct formula to reusable condoms and tampons. Then it could earn me millions of dollars and I’ll be living like a rock star. Parties here and there. Parties up and down. And more parties everywhere.

Of course, I will be traveling a lot coz I’ll be partying in different places around the globe each week. Tahiti and Bora-Bora this week then off to Ibiza the next and maybe a day or two stopover at the Caribbean, say, Dominican Republic, to check out the club scene.

Long queues at the airport would not be a problem because I’ll be traveling in my private Lear jet with my personal French chef and a hot redhead masseuse aboard.

I came back to harsh reality when I opened my blog and saw a comment on one of my entries. I know for a fact that there are only around 4 or 5 people reading all these nonsense I wrote here. It troubled me at times but I had come to terms with that. Now I’m more troubled by online advertisements on the comments section offering home loans and big cocks. Hate comments I can take but irritating online agents, most of which are just network bots created by jerks who have no significant things to do in their life other than watching porn videos, can drive me insane. You don’t want me to get insane. I ran amok wearing nothing but a laurel leaf on top of my right ear and a Bench t-back when I’m insane. You don’t want to see horrible things like that. Trust me.

To the jerk who authored network bots. Dude, go out and have friends. I know you have a total of 11,793 friends on your Friendster, MySpace, Facebook and Multiply accounts but for fuck’s sake go get some real friends. One that you can hang out with a bottle of beer on a lonely Saturday night. Attend orgies or go to farmhouses for a taste of real bestiality. Stop downloading those disgusting videos and jacking off for 2 hours straight. And please stop creating network bots for online ads. Get a life!

new and confirmed

2008-10-23T11:22:00.012+08:00

Y'all should see me today. I look so damn cool with my new tucked in long sleeves polo shirt and spanking new dress shoes. Mama couldn't be any prouder if she'll saw me like this. For once, I looked like a man who has achieved something in his life and not like my usual jeans-and-shirt bum look paired with a disturbing attitude of a sex maniac who is about to do it right there and then. Thanks to my project manager who required us to dress up today for our director's boss visit to our laboratory. Then we can go and pretend we're a bunch of cool folks that would wear tucked in long sleeves while measuring 450 amperes of current on a rotating motor.

The packing problem is I can't seem to move comfortably with these on. It just complicates things much on a very simple task such as scratching my balls for one. With jeans and shirt:

1) Put hands inside jeans

2) Scrath itchy ball/s

3) Smell hand

4) Go back to eating finger licking good Doritos or Cheese-o while answering boss's emails

Now with all these formal attire:

1) Go to bathroom

2) Untuck shirt

3) Zip down pants

4) Scratch itchy ball/s

5) Smell hand

6) Take some time to admire sex organ

7) Tuck shirt back in

8) Zip up pants

9) Fix shirt in front of mirror

10) Wash hands

11) Go back to typing how cool I look today

It doesn't help that I need to do this every hour or so.

In a world of Six Sigma or in layman's term, procedures on how to become obssessively and compulsively efficient paranoids, this is not packing acceptable. I can't wait till the day ends so I can get out of this pretension.

On a related note, I got my confirmation letter a couple of days ago. That means after 6 months of doing nothing but sitting in front of the monitor and moving the up-down-right-left keyboard as fast as I can so everybody will hear how busy I am, my boss finally decided to make me a regular fixture in the company premises. Now I don't have to worry about browsing porn sites in a maximized window and downloading Naruto Shippuuden all day long.

p.s.

Blog erratum. Gene Kelly's movie is "Singin' in the Rain" and NOT "Dancing in the Rain" as mentioned in my entry below. Thanks to the Constantly Dramatic One for the reminder.

sour mood

2008-10-20T19:51:00.008+08:00

I don't know why I'm so friggin' happy today and it's a Monday for crying out loud. I walked on corridors and hallways wearing a stupid smile and I can't help it. What could I've eaten yesterday to make me so joyfully silly today?

On Mondays I'm supposed to be in my You-better-watch-out-coz-I'm-gonna-strangle-you,-pull-your-fingernails-with-long-nose-pliers,-and-disembowel-you mood. The kind of temper when Hannibal Lecter is planning to take you away, open your skull and cook your brain in front of you while you're still conscious. But right now, it's just so wrong. I can't keep my mouth from smiling.

We've got tons of tasks to do for our project delivery next month but I'm feeling so irritably cheerful, it freaked me out. My project manager has been pestering me like a housefly to a shit-smeared ass but I remained so damn felicitous. A while ago, I looked out at the window. It's been raining cats and dogs outside and all I can think of is putting on a suit, grabbing an umbrella, running straight to that lamp post and doing that Gene Kelly's Dancing in the Rain number. This is really weird. What the hell is wrong with me?!? I can't go on like this any longer. Can somebody please come to my desk and slap me hard on my face or give me a good clean uppercut and make my nose bleed!?! I want my sour mood back.

answers

2008-10-18T10:14:00.004+08:00

If you're still flexing your brains for the past 72 hours trying to figure out the answers to the questions I handed out to you, better put down that bulky encyclopedia (Is this still being used?) and lend me your ears... Oh, in our case, your eyes will do. I have the answers here, freshly squeezed and printed, and I'll give it to you for free.

Why is the sky blue?
It's just the way it is. It's like asking why the sea is salty and sugar sweet? Why are they named stars and not glitters? Or stones not hardones? Or vajayers instead of flowers? That's the way of the world and you can't question that. Just imagine if the sky is green? Or violet? Or orange? It will surely be something less than a sight for sore eyes. So it must be blue.

Where does love come from?
Hypothalamus. So stop blaming your heart (poor organ) for all the misery you've been into. Instead bang your head on the wall until you get dizzy and come into your own senses.

Why does the sea look light blue-green when shallow and dark blue when deep?
I haven't browsed the answer for this one yet but who cares? I'd rather read news about somebody chopping somebody else's body and dumping it around the city than researching about colors and the sea.

Is Michael Jackson really white?
Of course, he is white. Are you blind? Maybe he's even blond and just dyed his hair black. But yes, he is white. That little black boy with a cool afro who captured the imagination of the entire world when he sang "ABC" and "I'll Be There" among others with four of his male siblings was a different Michael. I'm really not sure what happened to him. Maybe he got too famous and in early 1980's decided to become a hermit and shut himself to the entire world in Neverland. The other Michael Jackson we knew today is a white man, is not a child molester and only has one plastic surgery in his entire life. Period.

What is energy? Did Mariah Carey discover it with her album in 2007?
Who else could have discovered mass-energy equivalence? It couldn't be somebody old with a wrinkly face and had like 27 strands of white hair sitting on his balding head. It must've been by somebody who can hit the highest octave with a belch, somebody who was "emancipated" around 3 years ago and not by a German who had early speech difficulties. Come to think of it. E=MC²... MC²... MC... Mariah Carey... Emancipation... Can it be any more obvious than that?

Go forth and spread this news. You are now 5 questions smarter than anybody else. Tell your grandpa. Tell your fictional friends. Tell it even to your pet dog.

questions

2008-10-15T11:14:00.009+08:00

When I'm not sitting my brown ass in front of the computer monitor watching barely legal videos illegally streamed over the net, or when going around the city looking for someone to screw for free, or calling random numbers over the phone and offering erotic or sensual massage service for 50 pesos is becoming boring, I would be alone in my room sitting on the floor in a lotus position and helping mankind answer the most difficult of questions. This is deep.

More than 500 years in the modern era and we have already sorted some of those questions pondered a lot by ancient nerds under an olive tree. Questions like

Why is the sky blue?

Where does love come from?

Why does the sea look light blue-green when shallow and dark blue when deep?

Is Michael Jackson really white?

What is energy? Does Mariah Carey discover it with her album in 2007?

However as we progress through we've been picking up a few questions along the way. Then a lot of great thinkers in our time would have something to think about during their coffee break or when they're alone in their room sitting on the floor in a lotus position and staring intently on the computer monitor while the Best of Jenna Jameson and Asia Carrera is played full screen. Questions like

Who can map the behavioral pattern of the female human being?

Who made the rules to use passive voice and past participle when writing a test report?

Why does Hugh Hefner, at 82 years old, have 3 girlfriends? (Or was it 2 after Holly Madison left?)

Why do we need sleep?

Why does Incredible Hulk's pants remain fitted around his waist when he shrink from hulk-size to ordinary man-size? And for curiosity's sake, how big is he packing down there when he's in hulk-size? (NEWS FLASH: Captain America has a cameo appearance in the Hulk DVD. Watch out for it.)

Why do some people have no idea they smell bad, like I-rather-kill-myself-than-smell-your-armpit-for-10-minutes bad?

What would Britney Spears do next?

And the age-old question. Was it the chicken or the egg?

Listen to me people, we have a lot of serious things to think about here than plummeting stocks, rising unemployment rate and the possibility of losing jobs.

Now, you have to excuse me for a minute. I need to wipe my face from excessive nose bleeding. You just go ahead and contemplate it for a while, okay? And maybe you need to do that lotus position thing.

childhood poem

2008-10-13T23:51:00.003+08:00

A lot of you may have grown up with prudent and conservative people where anything related to sex and profanity is taboo. Well, that's exactly the opposite of me. I grew up with people who can spew 50 curses in one breath. Take our next door neighbor of old, Nang Maria, for example. Like everyone else's she had a teenage daughter who knew nothing at that time but go to parties and come home late at night wasted. One day, her daughter asked if she can go out with her friends. Somehow, Nang Maria's already full of it when suddenly she yelled on top of her voice "Lakaw gyud karong gabhiona, di ba magdagan unya ka padungs gawas nga walay ulo, koleraha ka!!!" Usually it's followed by a string of profanity that somehow amused the entire neighborhood.

Translation: Try going out tonight then you will be running out of this house beheaded.

If I am late for lunch or dinner, which usually happens a lot of times, then my mom would ask one of my aunties where the hell I was and all of a sudden I appeared out of nowhere all sweaty from an extended game of dakop-dakop or tago-tago (Translation: catch me if you can or hide and seek). My auntie would retort to something of this effect, "Diara ang inatay ay. Singot na pod kaayo. Asa na pod kaha ni nagkiat-kiat."

Translation: Here's that devil. All sweaty. Where in hell could have he been?

Remember those times when it was so fun to run around the house specially with your friends and then knock out something like flower vases or books in the shelf. Usually I would get this kind of scolding, "Pisti gyud ninyo uy! Panggawas mo didto, mga animala mo!"

Translation: Damn you all. Get out of here, you animals.

That is home to me. Looking back at it right now, I wouldn't want it to be any other way. Believe me there's more to my childhood than these obscenities. In fact, childhood for me is synonymous with swimming in Banakod (a semi-islet a stone's throw away from home in Bogo) every afternoon and stealing sinagwelas or tambis during nighttime. It was all fun.

I had a very vivid memory of one night, when I was 4 or 5 years old, where I sit at Tito Bari's lap outside the house. With all his patience, he taught me my first ever poem that was forever etched in my memory. He's looking a bit suspicious but I didn't know it at that time. Every time he would say the last word of the poem, he would whisper it on my ear. After memorizing, he took me back to the house then announced to everybody that I'm gonna recite something. He perched me up on a table in our living room with all my aunties and uncles, mom included, eagerly awaited for my number. Then with all the volume my immature vocal cords can muster, I recited this poem in iambic heptameter.

Ako si Leon Kilat nagalatay kos dagat
Kung inyo kong masugat, hutdon ko kamog kayat

Translation:
My name's Leon Kilat, I walk on seas
If ever our paths crossed, you all I'm gonna fuck

This is followed by different reactions of amusement and awe with a round of applause.

If I may say so boldly, I have the best childhood I can ever ask for.

2008-10-12T11:01:00.005+08:00

Sometimes beautiful things happen and you don't know what you did or said to deserve it.

I don't know what to say 'coz I know a simple 'Thank You' is not enough. But I'll say it anyway. THANK YOU. And I wish I could say more than that. I'm really surprised to receive this.

You know how much I adore this girl. How many sperm cells I wasted just for her. She's the same girl I talked about a year ago that I absolutely go crazy about. It is good enough that she's front cover of Playboy Philippines but what made it better is that this is a September issue. My birth month. Awesome! Now I need to go and find that lube.

jacking

2008-10-09T16:03:00.004+08:00

How many jacking do you know? For me there's hijacking, carjacking, jacking up, jacking down, jacking off and the famous jacking jill. (I'm good at making lousy pun for a joke. But whatever.)

Beware of this new jacking in town. It's called clickjacking. Coming from me, it's not a new fetish or something kinky or immoral. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. This has no sexual connotation whatsoever. It's something we aaaall should be afraid of!!! *shiver* This is something related to that piece of hardware you are staring at right now!!! Yes. This is something about your computer and the internet!!! Let's call it a computer virus for a lack of better term.

The announcement of this newly found flaw in the computing world came early this week by a geek working in a geek company. Our oh so beloved web browsers, including the new Google Chrome, as well as Adobe's Flash are all vulnerable to this. You might think twice before browsing your favorite porn site for your daily dose of voyeurism.

It's so hard to explain in the layman"est" terms but let me just try. Hackers can manipulate this flaw so that by simply browsing and clicking on webpages in the internet, you unknowingly let those hackers access your microphone and webcam. Then they can see you chatting on-line wearing a pink tutu while scratching your balls because of that tight spandex you wore underneath. Or hear you doing that nasty cybersex with a hot asian bombshell, which actually is a 49-year old, 4'9 tall, 150-lb fugly hag that works as a swindler on Colon Street on her day job.

Here is the news for a better understanding of this crisis we, cyberfreaks, are facing right now. And I thought world economy is the only problem we should be worrying about.

Clickjacking news here.

smasher trouble

2008-10-07T17:20:00.006+08:00

(photo courtesy of http://plausiblefutures.wordpress.com/)

It is reported that some poor soldering job had caused the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) to malfunction. After all the hoopla during its launching last month, they even have that famous Youtube parody about geeks rapping it up for this piece of science. Having the world's most brilliant scientists and they couldn't even got the soldering correct. As they say, 1 fault out of the particle collider's 10,000 connections is not bad. But it costs them some precious time.

If you're not as geeky as I am, or if you don't know anything about CERN or haven't read Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, listen here. Open your Internet Explorer or Mozilla Firefox or Opera or Apple Safari, you know what I mean, then type 'CERN' and hit enter. Then you'll have the slightest idea what kind of animal I'm talking about here.

I'm initially kinda excited about this largest particle accelerator in the world or, as CERN puts it, "world's largest and most complex scientific instrument". Think about exposing the secrets of the cosmos, about the endless possiblities of scientific discoveries. Who knows in the near future we might have a condom as thin as gas you wouldn't notice it was there. Then we'll have all the physicists in CERN to thank for.

*sigh* I'm thinking about shifting careers now and maybe move to Geneva.

I know you're not interested with news like this so pardon my interruption and for bothering you from watching your favorite noon-time show.

you too

2008-10-07T13:30:00.006+08:00

These guys are like phenomenal. They've been in the airwaves long before I learned how to masturbate. Before CDs, DVDs and BlueRay Discs, they're already in the mainstream of clunky cassette tapes and vinyl records. I'm not sure about the latter though.

Yes, I'm talking about no other than Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Dik Evans collectively known as U2. Adored by millions all over the world, this group from Dublin, Ireland has been a big part of the music history and I bet my 5,000-peso life savings that their songs will remain for centuries to come.

It is not just Bono's impassioned vocals that made me reverred the group, it is also his passion for humanitarian affairs. Being a rockstar, a Nobel Peace prize nominee, a philantropist, a geopolitical activist (whatever that means) and dodging screaming fans (girls and boys alike) all at the same time is no easy feat.

I'm writing about U2 or Bono, in particular, because I happen to read his speech 4 years ago - 19th of May 2004 to be exact - at the commencement exercises in University of Pennsylvania. You know how I love people who can dish out socio-political issues with a splash of humor on a football stadium. He's just awesome. He got this wild, obscene - if you must - persona with a deep grasp about global issues that I can so relate. And he's doing something major about it.

I wonder why I haven't got hold of this piece of writing 4 years ago???...... Oh syet! Now I remember. 4 years ago I was in a self-delusion of daydreams and wishful thinking. I was in a world of ...... oh, never mind.

Here is the speech. It's a bit long but if you're a true-blooded U2 fanatic or a U2 groupie, and can wet your underwear out of sheer pleasure while listening to their songs, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind.

(photo courtesy of www.pulsemed.org/picture-of-hair-style.htm)

/******************************/

/******************************

Because We Can, We Must

by Bono

My name is Bono and I am a rock star. Don't get me too excited because I use four letter words when I get excited. I'd just like to say to the parents, your children are safe, your country is safe, the FCC has taught me a lesson and the only four letter word I'm going to use today is P-E-N-N. Come to think of it 'Bono' is a four-letter word. The whole business of obscenity--I don't think there's anything certainly more unseemly than the sight of a rock star in academic robes. It's a bit like when people put their King Charles spaniels in little tartan sweats and hats. It's not natural, and it doesn't make the dog any smarter.

It's true we were here before with U2 and I would like to thank them for giving me a great life, as well as you. I've got a great rock and roll band that normally stand in the back when I'm talking to thousands of people in a football stadium and they were here with me, I think it was seven years ago. Actually then I was with some other sartorial problems. I was wearing a mirror-ball suit at the time and I emerged from a forty-foot high revolving lemon. It was sort of a cross between a space ship, a disco and a plastic fruit.

I guess it was at that point when your Trustees decided to give me their highest honor. Doctor of Laws, wow! I know it's an honor, and it really is an honor, but are you sure? Doctor of Law, all I can think about is the laws I've broken. Laws of nature, laws of physics, laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and on a memorable night in the late seventies, I think it was Newton's law of motion...sickness. No, it's true, my resume reads like a rap sheet. I have to come clean; I've broken a lot of laws, and the ones I haven't I've certainly thought about. I have sinned in thought, word, and deed. God forgive me. Actually God forgave me, but why would you? I'm here getting a doctorate, getting respectable, getting in the good graces of the powers that be, I hope it sends you students a powerful message: Crime does pay.

Read the rest of his speech here.

******************************/

mr. clean is dead

2008-10-06T22:41:00.007+08:00

This is already around 3-days old news but in case you still don't know and if you're crazy with detergent bars as you are with the whole green earth movement then you might want to read the rest of the story.

from http://www.reuters.com/

TV's "Mr. Clean" dies at age 92
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The actor who played muscular "Mr. Clean" in hundreds of dirt-busting television commercials in the late 1950s and early 1960s, has died in Los Angeles at the age of 92, his family said.
House Peters Jr.'s bald-head, hoop earring and brawny arms was the original public face of Proctor & Gamble's household cleaners with the jingle "Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean." He died of pneumonia on Wednesday, his family said.

Born into an acting family, House Peters Jr. started his career in silent movies and later made a name for himself with character parts, often as the muscled villain, in dozens of TV and movie westerns including "Wagon Train", "Gunsmoke" and "The Lone Ranger."

He won a Golden Boot award in 2000 for his lifetime contribution to the western genre.

Peters Jr. retired from acting in the late 1960s after filming his last episode of "Lassie" on television, in which he had a recurring role as Sheriff Jim Billings.

(Reporting by Jill Serjeant)

letter of repentance

2008-10-03T17:27:00.002+08:00

Dear Lady Luck,

I am writing to ask your forgiveness.

Never again will I desecrate your name or put it in the same context with revenge, violence and gore with a flare of repugnance like sticky phlegm-filled yellowish spit. I am so sorry to have offended you. It is not in my pure intent to do so.

Please spare me your retribution. Do not make my toothbrush come to life again, slip out of my hand then do a reverse one and a half somersaults with three twists dive straight to the toilet bowl. I just bought that 6 days ago and I can't afford to change toothbrush every week or I'll go bankrupt. And also, do not make my contact lens storage container do the same diving somersault to the toilet bowl. They are supposed to remain dirt-free so I can store my contact lens without contamination.

I hope you're satisfied to know that I was so freaked out when the whole event happened one after the other. It freaked me out even more that I have to fish them out of the yellowish-brown toilet bowl using my bare hands.

To affirm my resolution, I promise to delete all porn-related materials on my hard disk specially those of dogs and horses doing blonde chiks, and cute brunettes eating fresh feces. But I will keep those of Angelina Jolie's and Brad Pitt's if that's okay with you. I will personally find you a virgin - I have lots of premium membership on adult friend finders - and offer her carcass on your altar to appease your anger.

Forgive your lowly servant.

splat

a shoe case

2008-09-30T03:55:00.005+08:00

Now that I'm done releasing all those pent-up hatred inside me, I'm beginning to think clearly. I really shouldn't blame my misfortune on those people who have no other fun in their miserable lives but to spit on unlikely public places. It might be the only sort of satisfaction they achieve in their lifetime. So I promise to let it be and call off my manslaughter plans until further notice.

After 3 glasses of whiskey, I began to think of what really is the issue here. It's not them. It's me! It seems that I have this sort of cruelty hurled at me by Lady Luck. And I don't even know why I offended her on the first place.

Recounting some events, let me take you 3 or 4 years ago. I had a date. We were to watch a movie on that day. I took my date from the apartment. Going to my date's place was a bit tricky. You know how it is in Phil'pines. I trod earth and grass and what not in order to reach the place.

We were already inside the moviehouse and enjoying each others company. No nasty things happened yet if you know what I mean. *wink* There was that smell I noticed a while back that seemed to get amplified inside the moviehouse. A foul smell. Immediately I thought it was my date having some kind of bad odor. Smelly mouth? Armpit? Body odor? I couldn't really figure out. I slowly leaned towards my date to check if the odor was there. There were no traces of foul smell anywhere. I was so sure it was not me. I mean why would I smell in the first place? I brushed my mouth thrice and almost emptied a bottle of mouthwash just for that day then spayed perfume all over my body.

That's when I began to suspect something. I raised my date's attention and we searched our chair for any traces of foul smelling object nearby. Then I told my date to look at the shoes. My date objected but I demanded that she might've stepped into something. Nothing's there. Then I checked my shoes. Pak! Pak! Pak! It's syet! I stepped syet on my way to my date's apartment! How cruel is that? To think that I bought my shoes a month or so ago! I was so ashamed but managed to pull my act together. I tossed the smelly shoe on the side and we continued to watch the movie amid all the ridicules my date threw at me.

(photo courtesy of www.altrec.com)

To further convince you that Lady Luck has a vendetta against me, let us go a bit further, one month since that shameful event happened. I went to work one day wearing the same pair of shoes. On my way to the company's gate I noticed something - a brown smudge on my shoes! Oh no! Not again! Further inspection using sense of smell revealed that, yes, it was syet! Deja vu. Pakin deja vu!

I leave it at those instances because if I have to narrate each and everyone of those unfortunate events I might've created a book.

senseless

2008-09-29T17:17:00.003+08:00

I can't work. My brain just won't let me. Who in their sane mind would have the mojo to work on a Monday knowing that Tuesday and Wednesday are non-working days?

That is why I'm blogging like crazy. I even have one post-dated entry. Pshew! I've got piles and piles of workloads to do but my brain went off-mode. I don't even know what a CAN bus is or a Lundell machine or a 3-phase generating voltage and shit like these.

I want to go home and do senseless stuff like, I dunno.... watch porn maybe or play Mario or download Avatar? I want to be anywhere but here. While writing my previous entry, I was reminded to buy another pair of shoes for the office. My old one is already washed out. I've got a long list of things to buy - 26-in Bravia, Quad Core Q9xxx series CPU, a compact laptop, a digicam 'coz as you already knew I left my old one back at home, iPhone, 16GB flash drive and so on and so forth. So many things to buy, so little budget left. *sigh*

Why is the clock ticking so slow? I wish I have Hiro Nakamura's time-bending power so I can just freeze time and do absolutely anything I want. But you know me, I don't want any complications in my life and get entangled with crazy maniacs like Sylar or creepy black men like The Haitian so I might pass the opportunity if ever it comes along. Wait. Maybe I'll rob a bank first then bang Angelina Jolie before giving up my superpower.

Why am I babbling senseless shit?

massacre

2008-09-29T14:02:00.020+08:00

I want to let out my frustration so please bear with me. The following paragraphs are not intended for the weak of heart.

Who likes to own a cool Kel-Tec PF-9, 9mm caliber recoil operated locked breech double action only single column magazine semi-automatic pistol with 30 pieces spare of pre-loaded magazines? Or how about a high power FN P90 submachine gun. Even cooler is the 7.62mm GAU-gatling gun. Who likes to own any of these? Raise your right hand so I can tally you in...... Done. If you own any handgun or any weapon of assault raise your left hand...... Good.

Okay. Now that I got the numbers let me laid out the plan. At exactly, 1533 hours this Wednesday, 1.October.2008, we will meet at an undisclosed address. Details will be emailed via secure server with 1024-bit encryption algorithm. A mini-biometrics scanner will be sent to your home address at 1900 hours tonight. It will do a retina scan and voice verification. After a successful authentication, it will display the decryption password for 3 seconds then will self-destruct. You will use this password to view the email.

Target will be specified in that email. Spare no one. Bigger bonus will be given to those who can shoot 'em between the eyes. If you happen to catch anybody within the building premise doing that disgusting spitting, I want you to cut his tongue first then make him drink a bottle of vinegar. After 10 minutes, shoot him between the eyes. If you catch him on the 10th floor or higher, took off all his clothes then drop him down head first. I don't want the clothes to give him any sort of cushion when he lands on the pavement, skull and bones broken with bits of flesh scattered around on a pool of blood.

You see, all I really wanted is to free the world with all those disgusting public spitters as much as I want to free Phil'pines with all those corrupt public officials. You already know the answer. It is next to impossible. That is why I'm taking this to the next level. If there's nobody out there who can do anything about this, even those so-called Elders of the World, then I will gladly step up to the challenge. Why, you ask?

It all started on a peaceful Saturday afternoon. I got hungry and called my other apartment mates to go downstairs and buy lunch. We gleefully chatted inside the elevator. The door opened on the first floor and we headed out. Just as I took my first step, I felt some sort of liquid substance touching on my feet. It couldn't be possible, I thought. Why would it rain inside the elevator? Then I inspect the sole of my left foot. Lo and behold, a sticky, phlegm-filled, yellowish spit was glued between my sole and slippers!!!!! I was disgusted beyond words but since I'm hungry as a wolf and because my motto is to fill my stomach first before anything else, I never thought much about it until after lunch. That is when I planned this whole man-slaughter thing.

After killing all targets in the building, I will pile up the corpse, stand on top, bathe with their blood and let out a Joker-kind of laugh. Maybe I'll skip the bathing part. I'm afraid there would be traces of melamine on their hemoglobin and would get me all sick for the rest of the week.

I've gone through my plans and it's perfect. All that's left to do is to draw that war paint. Let the massacre begin!!!!

(photo courtesy of http://peoplesgeography.com)

bitchin' on a birthday

2008-09-20T00:07:00.004+08:00

You know bitchin', right? It's that white powdery thing you put on your dish to make it taste better. It's the same white powdery thing you excessively mix with dog food and feed on the next door noisy *askal that wakes the entire neighborhood up everytime you went home very late from a drinking spree (or a sex spree in some cases). The next day you'll find its carcass lying cold on the street with saliva bubbles on its mouth then say your pretentious regret to the sad owner. "He was a very protective dog. Always there for me when I went home late."

Sometimes bitchin' is called with its equally famous Japanese competitor. Got the pun? If you're still not amused at this point chances are you're an imbecile so better click that 'X' tab on the upper right hand of this window and leave me in peace. Or maybe I'm just a lousy joker. Whatever. This whole punch line just came to my head when I wrote the title and I felt corny(h, interchangeable) today so there yah go. Anyway.....

Work is such a bitch. And nothing's bitcher than waking up very early to attend an early morning training. I've been away from blogosphere due to some work maniacs shoving workloads up my ass every now and then. Then there are those training that start on ungodly hours. Imagine working 12-15 hours a day for the past couple of weeks or so!!!!! Imagine waking up at 6:30 in the morning so you'll be in the training room before 8!!!!! Imagine your senior assigning you some tasks then the project leader called you for another tasks then your manager explained to you some more additional paperworks that you need to do!!!! Imagine that!!!! However, it pays the bills you know so I might as well quit yapping and comply.

Used to be, I love my work very deeply. If she'd been a girl, I would've revered her from her hair strands all the way to her toe nails. Used to be, my ideal job is a disc jock on a famous NYC club. Used to be, I work hard so I can drown myself with weng-wengs, long islands, flaming ferraris, etc. on weekends and travel on nearby islands in the country.

Nowadays, my ideal job is to be part of a travel show crew. Nowadays, I work so I can pay expensive airplane tickets for a vacation to other countries then drown myself with weng-wengs, long islands, flaming ferraris, etc. Nowadays, my brain's too occupied about travel plans. Thailand next month. Hong Kong and Macau on December. Europe or US or NZ next year. Sigh!

Before I while you any further into this useless self-dilusion, let me greet a very good friend and a once special friend a happy happy birthday. Good wishes, hugs and kisses to you. See you soooooon.

I was tempted to put something nice here. A dozen flower perhaps or Ferrero Rocher or a cake. But I saw Wall-E last weekend and for some unknown reason I found him extra-extra adorable, cute even. I wanted to wrap him and send over as a birthday gift but I can't do that. So I'll just post him here instead.

*askal - short for asong kalye. Filipino term for stray dogs or dogs without refined breeding.

birthday

2008-09-08T23:06:00.009+08:00

THANK.......

YOU.......

AND

THANK.......

YOU.......

"...a three-fold utopian dream..."

Brandon Boyd couldn't say it any better.

inasal

2008-09-03T00:20:00.001+08:00

Grace and Elton, her husband, came back from a weeklong vacation on dear ol Phil'pines. And lookei what she got for me!!!!

One pound of pure unadulterated inasal meat!!!! CNT Lechon all the way from its Guadalupe Branch!!!! She invited me for dinner yesterday and gave me this for my doggie bag. Slurp!! Slurp!! While munching it bite by bite it seemed like I died and went to heaven. It's like orgasm, only better. I never thought I would miss inasal this much.

It made my mouth water just by typing this. So, you'll have to excuse me while I go and savor my piece of heaven.

greatest

2008-08-28T11:33:00.003+08:00

I never see this one coming. Rodman? Best athlete ever coached by Phil Jackson? Read here.

I never like basketball but during Michael's heyday I got to watch a few games with the Bulls. Rodman, with all the colors of his hair matched with that crazy attitude and lifestyle, just striked me odd. But cool. Specially, he's dating that hot vixen, Carmen Electra, at the time.

Unlike tennis, I never ran down basketball game statistics so I leave it to y'all NBA fans out there to decide.

speech

2008-08-27T10:04:00.007+08:00

Have you, guys, seen, heard or read Michelle Obama's speech Monday at the opening of the Democratic National Convention? Wasn't it amazing? It was that awesome I could jack myself off to orgasm (and maybe cry at the same time) while listening to it. Seriously. I wouldn't really call it perfect though with a few over-gushy lines but damn she got into me. Almost moved me to tears.

(photo courtesy of The Wall Street Journal)

Now, I envy Barack for finding such a fine woman. I could imagine countless nights of intellectual ejaculation with her. Did I tell you I'm a sucker for dark-skinned women?

Check out this link for her complete speech.

I hope those Hillary fanatics would calm down and vote for this girl's man. Come to think of it. I'm not even a Democrat or a US citizen for that matter.

Note: Barack Obama or any of his supporters did not pay nor give me any financial or sexual favors for this post.

2012

2008-08-25T23:55:00.004+08:00

Watching the Beijing Olympics closing ceremony made me decide that I should be in London for the 2012 Games. I quickly made a mental note to make it as the first on my list of to do things for the next 4 years. Wanna come?

(picture courtesy of getty images from Yahoo! Sports)

On a related note, I read this article over the weekend and made me regret why I didn't become an olympian.

For those, who are feeling lazy to browse through, let me give you a synopsis. It's about the world's top athletes in the Olympic village having naturally higher levels of testosterone, which leads to volcanic release of pent-up hedonism. Basically, athletes banging each other and you don't even need to have a medal to participate. I know you want more so go ahead and read.

Note: This is not a paid ad.

kunt

2008-08-19T21:06:00.004+08:00

I am fuming with anger!!!! My face is red as hell and smoke is coming out from my nostrils and ear holes. I'm about to burst. I want to scream my lungs out then set my desk on fire and watch it burn to ashes. After that I'm going to bitchslap somebody all the way to the stratosphere. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before I do further damage, I quickly went to my mp3 list and played this in full volume. I'll let the song do the cursing for me. I'm even too furious to thank Jon Davis for writing this.

***** begin song *****
Kunt

Fuck you titty suckin' two ball bitch with a fat bruised clit
My dick cornholio bitch oh shit fucking ass licking piss sucking cunt
Deez nuts on your lips Kentucky Fried Kung-Pao Clits

I don't know what to say
So what, I don't give a fuck, ya know
I don't know what to say
So what

Saggy tits swinging between your fat crusty arm pits big ass hairy mole
Between your pussy lips cunt shit cock dick cunt tit barf piss balls ass
Pecker quief oh shit fucked bitch damn fucking diarrea sluts, with dicks

I don't know what to say
So what, I don't give a fuck, ya know
I don't know what to say
So what

I have vowed to find stuff to say
But now I've found something to say
Fuck you, Punk ass Bitch
Fuck you, Punk ass Bitch

I don't know what to say
So what, I don't give a fuck, ya know
I don't know what to say
So what

Cunt!
Fuck!
Shit!
Bitch!

***** end song *****

Whew! That relieved me a little. Okay. Back to work.

me lazy and britney

2008-08-01T14:46:00.004+08:00

I'm too lazy to do anything. Heck, I'm even too lazy to think, it might damage my brain.

Honestly, I'm just a lazy person. I need some kind of an external stimuli to keep me going. For example, a lady friend would be staying in my room tonight so it has to be sparkling clean. In an instant, that would throw me in a fit of cleaning-frenzy like an obsessive-compulsive jerk. Cleaning even the cracks on my bedroom wall.

Right now, it's not going to happen so I'm in this state. I remember it took me around 3 years before deciding to update my lousy blog theme. Up til now, I still got the same boring theme on my friendster. To think that I've been a member since like 5 years ago when Britney was too adorable on the Disney Channel to be labeled as a bitch.

I like Britney. I think she's spontaneous and interesting. People don't understand her coz they're not as rich and famous and talented and thoughtful as she is. I mean who will give free pussy pics all over the internet when you have to pay loads of money to view a damn porn site except that cute girl though from the sickingly famous High School Musical.

My guess is that she's some kind of a philantrophist, always giving to the needy. Who cares about Gates and that Warren stay-away-from-credit-cards Buffet. You would probably if you happen to be a recipient of that billion-dollar charity program. But if you're from Philippines, chances are you're not. Even if you are, the benefits were surely enjoyed by those sons-or-daughters-of-a-bitch politicians. So I'll stick with Britney.

Aside from Paris, she's responsible for giving media its high ratings. They painted her with names and such but hey they never paid her a single cent for adding those nasty adjectives beside her name. The tabloids are selling like hotcakes and showbiz blog hits are rolling mad like twister. It's all because of her.

Can't wait for her next stunt specially if it's a flash of that pink va-jay-jay.

10 things to know about me

2008-07-27T00:45:00.002+08:00

01. I was once a drug addict, failed a class in college and dropped out of the scholarship because of this.

02. I'm a collector. Now, I have around 2 dozens of mcfarlane action figures, 2 dozens of 1:16 diecast cars, more than a dozen of 1:16 die cast motorcycles, 1 set (8 pieces) fighter planes, helicopters, jet skis and most recently, transformers.

03. I applied a credit card and maxed it out in a single transaction because I bought a very expensive watch for a girl. It took me 2 years to pay it off.

04. I'm taking vitamin C (for boosting my immune system), multivatimins with ginseng (to maintain and enhance my libido), and glutathione (for anti-ageing) for almost a year now
because I'm afraid of getting old.

05. I like to lick vaginas. The pungent smell turns me on.

06. I was contemplating of having a cock ring but news about some men getting infection scared me to death.

07. For countless times, I jacked off inside an internet cafe watching some dirty porn movies. Each station is in a cubicle.

08. I once thought it would be very cool to see a person die on a road accident.

09. One of my perversions is to french kiss a girl while riding on the back of a motorcycle. Of course, there's a 3rd party driver. I did this twice already.

10. I watched a couple of dogs making out on the street and for a minute it turned on. But I swear it only happened once.

holy shit

2008-07-18T13:21:00.004+08:00

A few more hours and I will die of some kind of lung disease. Shitty lungs? Asphyxia due to breathing in too much shit? Internal hemmorage due to some contaminated (shitty) oxygen intake or whatever fucking medical term the doctor would call it.

You see, the guy seated beside me in my test bench in our laboratory smells like shit. The first time I went near him to show how his setup works I thought it was just his shirt giving a foul odor. But after an hour, the stinking odor found its way through my test area. I give a quick look at his shoes and there it was. That familiar brown smudge!!! I know it's dry shit. What the fuck!!! Doesn't he notice the disgusting smell?

I contemplated the best way to tell him. "Holy shit!!! Is that it?!?" Or maybe, "Do you smell shit or is it just me?". Perhaps this one, "What's that brown smear on you shoes?". Simple and direct one would be, "Man, I think that's shit on your shoes." *sigh* If he had been a Bisdak, I would never mind saying to his face, "KABAHO ba nimong tae uy!!! Panrapo adtos kasilyas uy!!!"

I'm starting to get a headache. I can't stand this. I'm going to die.

kanta

2008-07-10T22:26:00.003+08:00

Naglakaw ko padung sa kanto sa dihang mingkalit ug syagit ang trumpa mga napulo ka lakang gikan sa ako. Naay kasaulogan gibuhat sa plasa. Mingtukar ang kanta nga ininsik. Wala ko kasabot sa mga pulong. Pero pipila ka segundo, nahimong pamilyar ang tukar. Nagsige ko huna-huna kung asa nako siya nabati-an. Kabalo ko nga sikat ni siya nga kanta pero nakutaw ang akong utok ug huna-huna kung unsa to ang Iningles ani nga kanta. Sa pipila ka minuto, mingkalit ug bagting sa akong alimpatakan. Inatay!!! Ininsik man diay ron sa Dayang-Dayang!!!

training

2008-07-09T09:09:00.002+08:00

I'm in a three-hour training (yawn!) and is planning to write something so I can stay awake the whole period. Who wants to listen to something like safety standards anyway? But it's still 8:30 in the morning and it seemed my brain hasn't woken up yet. I can't think of anything interesting to talk about. It goes to show that I'm dumber in the morning... zzzzzzzzzz............

Huh!! What?!? Damn trainor! Calling my name and asking me questions while I'm trying to sleep here. I hate people who ask rhetorical questions but then expect an answer. We get the point!! Okay? I'll just shake my head and smile. That should save my ass.
:
:
:
A couple of hours more to go and it will be over....

.... KCDS - Key Characteristics Designation System....

Don't mind my writing here. I wanted to scribble so I won't close my eyes. Product engineering... Product engineering... Damn! I'm a development engineer. There's a whale of difference between the two. I can't directly relate to the example and terms.

Yehey!!! Video time!!!

Dr. Edwards Deming... I'll check this guy out on the internet.

Back to lecture.

"It doesn't works... want to reports... ask you a questions... when we says... safe to used... you meets requirements... period of one years... viscosity but he reads it 'virousity'... is very much similars... did not tells you... Here, they identifies... page 43 of that documents... 5 minutes periods..."

"If no questions, then I'll let you all go. But don't forget to sign the attendance." At last!!!!

atis

2008-06-27T22:39:00.002+08:00

Tell me. Who would buy a 5-dollar atis (sugar-apple, as known internationally)? Maybe someone who has lots of money and simply wants to eat one. Or maybe someone who considers atis as the most delicious fruit ever that has grown on earth. Or maybe someone who considers eating atis as to having sex - it takes him to another dimension. I hardly fit on the first description. But the last two would more or less describe my craving for this fruit. I can certainly finish a cartoon-full of this groovy sugar-filled delight in one day even if my tonsils would cry out for help for sweetness sake. And even if I know for sure that the next day my tonsils would grow twice its size making me really sick and have to pay bucketfull of money for expensive antibiotics.

And there I was, inside the grocery store, standing in front of the basket where huge atis are neatly stacked on top of each other, forming a pyramid. To buy or not to buy? That is the question. Damn! These fruits grow everywhere from where I came. Here it's priced almost 200 pesos a piece!!! I contemplated for a minute. As I am only human and therefore weak, I quickly picked one and headed straight to the counter before raising any doubt.

So, it all leads me now at my table writing this entry while happily savoring every pulp of sweetness from my 5-dollar atis. And just like sex, I'm in heaven.

P.S.

Please bear with my pic. I don't have any kick-ass DSLR yet or even a decent point-and-shoot for that matter.

say what?

2008-06-18T11:23:00.004+08:00

I have these funny experiences that I just have to write here or risk losing it with dementia.

I was waiting for my items at Rose Pharmacy in SM Cebu when a girl stood beside me and asked the sales lady, "Naa moy temperature?". To which the sales lady politely replied, "Thermometer imo ganahan paliton?".

In a profile of a famous picture sharing website, a boy posted a queston about a sexy photo of a pretty girl, "Are you a model, aren't you?".

Two of my friends and I were talking about our common friend and her excapades in a far away country. It was a serious discussion until my other friend tried to defend her and said, "Dili pod ta mo-judge diretso uy. Let's look at the sides of the two coins.".

things to know - childhood and early teens

2008-06-13T14:35:00.003+08:00

We have the culminating event for our Excellence Week today. I'm assigned to man the booth for the grave yard session: 9PM - 12AM!!!! I don't feel like working now so I compiled these.

20 Things to Know About Me.

01. Although, I have lots of playmates during early childhood, there are times that I wanted to play all by myself.

02. I'm a music fanatic. My grandpa had this huge collection of vinyl albums stored in boxes. When i was 5, I would pull out grandpa's monophone on a table and those boxes of vinyl albums, sit in front and enjoy listening to those classics - local and foreign artists alike.

03. When I was 7, my sister convinced me to collect stationeries. Not knowing what they're for, I collected a lot until my next door neighbor stole everything away.

04. I'm a big tennis fan since I was 7. There's a tennis court a minute away from my house. Sadly, my mom can't afford to buy me a racket and would not allow me to 'ballboy'. I still wanted to learn right now but can't summon much energy to go to a tennis court and lift a racket.

05. I'm a nature lover. I've known that since I was 8. I felt very guilty cutting down tree branches for our games.

06. When I was 8, I got my first watch as a birthday gift from my godfather. I became a "watch lover" since then but don't have money to buy and collect.

07. When I was 9, I once saw an evil spirit or more like an ugly spirit walking beside me.

08. I'm a collector. When I was 9, I have a huge collection of local comics, mostly horror and comedy. But friends and neighbors borrowed and lost most of it.

09. Aside from rubber bands, marbles and cigarette packs, I also started collecting stickers since I was 8. I would put those stickers at the back of my notebooks and at the end of the school year, cut out and kept the covers. I continued this until 5th grade. Until now, I still have those stickers.

10. I also have a few collections of trump cards since I was 9. And yes, I still have those collections with me.

11. I get easily addicted to anything - computer games, video games, manga, anime, tv shows, books, photography, etc. One time when I was 9, Mom asked me for an errand for her dish. Well after lunch time, I still didn't return. Mom had to pick me up at the video game arcade and spank the hell out of me after.

12. I kept a box full of memories. During elementary and high school years, we usually have those silly retreats and some activites would require us to give something to a person. I kept what I received and have it with me til now.

13. At 12, I wanted to know social sciences. Before elementary graduation, I sneaked out a book from the library and never returned it. The book is all about human behaviour. Unfortunately, I only finished chapter 1.

14. Before going to high school, I memorized how to pray the rosary. I was afraid the nuns wouldn't let me enroll if I don't know how to pray.

15. I became a devout catholic the whole high school period. Mostly because, I studied in a catholic school.

16. After high school, I wanted to know more about religion and started reading about Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, etc.

17. I first saw MTV when I was 14 and immediately became a big fan. I would waste hours and hours sitting in front of the boob-tube and watching those videos.

18. At 16, I saw Rage Against The Machine on MTV and became a metal lover since then.

19. I once like local movies but after high school, I found them to be a waste of time.

20. I received 13 medals during high school graduation. Half for the academe and the other half for extra-curricular activities. I was student council president and an SK chairman at the same time.

leaving

2008-06-08T13:27:00.003+08:00

I know I have to go but it's like I don't wanna leave. Family, friends, love one/s, travels with friends and love one/s, and all the comforts Cebu has offered me - these all came playing on my mind as I stroll my luggage towards the airport check-in counter. But unlike Hollywood movies, I stepped into the plane without somebody shouting from behind to have my plane stopped, while struggling with security guards professed her undying love to me. No. This is real life though it didn't stop me to pause and look behind just to see if somebody familiar was there. But all I see are faces of strangers minding their own businesss and minding others as well. This is it.

I've been away from the country a few times but the feeling of going away for good is different. All of those trips I was excited to leave but this time I feel sad. Sad and anxious at the same time.

Geez! I never expected I can be this deep.

I've always known that I'll be leaving Cebu this year. I've known that since last year. On the last quarter of 2007, opportunities started to come in - USA, Europe and Asia. Obviously, opportunities in Asia were last on my list. I'm almost certain I'll go to Europe. I passed all the interviews. Then, the long wait. For more than 2 months, I didn't hear any word from them. 1st quarter of this year, I was invited to come to this country for the interview. All expenses paid. That was my first time to visit here and there's something in the place that intrigued me.

It's been more than a month since I left Cebu and all I can say is "okei-lah".

situational

2008-01-18T13:09:00.000+08:00

In a given situation like this, what would you do?

You were dating this girl for a few weeks now. You treat her to fancy restaurants, movies, coffee shops and so on. You talk about things you wanted to do and a lot of other stuff. The next day while you were talking on the phone, out of nowhere, she just said that she wanted to go to a gay bar with you on the next weekend. Of course, you don't want to say no to her but you also don't want to go in those kind of places. What possible excuse would you give without offending her? Would you still go out with her? Libog. (<--bisaya ni hap...)

early gift

2007-12-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

I must have been very good this year. I receive my Christmas gift early. I have a feeling that 2008 would be a very exciting year for me. 'Can't wait..... :)

THE season

2007-12-11T17:18:00.000+08:00

This might sound a bit late considering the fact that it's already halfway through the month. But I'll say it anyway... Alas!!! December has come!!! It's Christmas season once again!!! There are a lot of cliches I wanted to write about Christmas but duh! just read somebody else's blog about it.

The department Christmas party was held the very first day of December at Krua Thai, BTC.

My manita gave me exactly what I asked for but, fearing for my soul, I guess, she also gave me a booklet for a spiritual reading.

The company Christmas party will be held this Friday at Cebu International Convention Center (CICC) and it will be Christmas vacation after that!!!! Cool eh?

Although I was a bit dressed up last Friday night, I still went to Colon St. (again) to see this Night Bazaar after a hearty Japanese meal. They have the street closed from Jones Ave. intersection all the way to Junquera St. intersection. You can find a lot of goodies in there - local fruits (buongon, oranges, guavas and others), shoes, sandals, toys, shirts, bags, tribal necklaces and pulseras (I forgot the English term aning hinampak), accessories and so much more. Of course, there are barbecue stands if ever you get hungry rummaging the displays. I got a few toys and a couple of coin purse for my cousins, nephews and nieces. If you're looking for a nice savings on your Christmas gifts, drop by at the area. And always haggle for the prices. There was this toy that I wanted to buy for my nephew. The first store priced it at 45 pesos. The second store at 60 pesos. Then finally I was able to buy it at 20 pesos.

Last Saturday, I did a very unusual thing. I went with the Validation group to do some Samaritan work. There was this misfortunate community in Tabor Hills in Talamban that we spent time with. This outreach program was really for the children. There were a lot of games, singing and dancing and eating. I learned that eating in Jolibee can be the ultimate happiness to a lot of children. The weather's very hot. It was exhausting but exhilarating as well. If you can just see the smile on those children's faces, you know that the effort was worth all your while.

scary movie

2007-11-28T17:42:00.000+08:00

My head was spinning while reading a 200-page manual of MOST specification. Damn!! Too many methods and properties and classes and objects to get acquainted with. Though I'm quite excited to start this project, I was reading like mad since last week. MOST specification is 242 pages thick while the BMW MOST function catalogue is like 2,200++. Syeeeet!!!!!!! Well, I really don't need all 2,000 pages of information. Just around 200, I guess.

Okay, I'm done bitching about my work. Now, deep breath. Find my center. Relax..... and blog. hehehehe

I made my Sunday exciting last weekend by strolling around Colon area. I've never done this for quite a long time. Back in college days, I always go there to feel and breath the city. Up to now, I equated Cebu City to Colon area. If you haven't been around in that place then you haven't been to Cebu City at all. But when you decided to do it, be sure to dress shabbily. Never wear any jewelry and do not bring your wallet!!! And use your oldest mobile phone. These I all did. It never failed to give me a nice feeling seeing and bumping a lot of people going to and fro with their own business. Street vendors trying to impress passerby with their wares. You can actually find a lot of cheap items in there that are sold almost twice as much in trendy malls.

I'm not satisfied by just going from corner to corner. I'd also like to know what's going on in each corner. You can do this by striking a conversation with say, the cigarette vendors. Buy a 2-peso worth of candies and start a conversation but never make it sound serious so they wouldn't think you're some kind of a detective. Be affable. This means staying in one corner or perhaps along the sidewalk grills and bathing all the dust and smoke coming from jeepneys and cars passing by. But I learned to be street smart out of this. I learned that there are people out on the street who would buy stolen items of any kind, the usual pimps, or even tarts, a few drug dealers (they usually abound in Panagdait, Ermita and Pasil area), drug users (specially kids sniffing rugby discreetly) and some snatchers.

It was around 6 in the evening when I passed by Ultravistarama. I watched a lot of Hollywood movies in this cinema during its heyday. In fact, it was one of the best cinemas in the city before SM and Ayala were built. It is still in business but it was showing a lewd film starred by Isko Moreno, Elizabeth Oropesa(as his mother), and an unknown young and sexy bombshell. I was not yet ready to go home so I decided what the heck, I'll watch this movie. I paid for the Balcony seating.

The first thing I noticed when I went inside was the people or men standing along the passageway and giving me a stare. I felt nervous but shrugged off the feeling. There were only a handful of people inside the cinema and the movie hadn't started yet. I seated myself on the center of the right column. Another thing I noticed were some of those men in the passageway walking up and down the aisle. Maybe they're looking for the best seat and immediately dismissed the thought.

A few minutes after the movie started, a couple - most probably boyfriend and girlfriend - sat a few rows below me. The guy immediately went to business. Kissing the girl, petting and God- knows-what-else. I smiled to myself. What a cheap way to have illicit sex. Then a guy sat behind me. The movie was a hardcore bore. It's either the projector is old or the film itself is old. The vertical lines were very apparent on the screen and the sound system!! My goodness!! I would prefer watching anything on my TV at home anytime. And that's exactly what I wished after a horrifying event. The guy behind me bended over and murmured something to me. I didn't quite get it and since I was concentrating on the movie dialogue, I replied "okei ra bai."

He got up and sat beside me. I was getting nervous. He has a stocky build and could easily out-wrestle me.
Guy: Magpa-chupa ka bai? --Would you like to get a blowjob?
ako: HUH?? (I was startled and couldn't believe what I just heard.)
Guy: Magpa-chupa ka? --Would you like to get a blowjob?
ako: HUH?? (I couldn't move. My heart started to beat like a THX-certified bass sub-system. I heard him right the first time.)
Guy: Kuan man gyud, bai. Ang kasagaran man gyud mosulod diri kay mga bisexuals man gyud. --Most people who came here are bisexuals-- (I think he sensed the shock on my face.) Sige na kag ari? --Do you come to this place all the time?
ako: Karon pa --Just now (Waaaah!!! I wanna get out!!!)
Guy: Magpabayad ka? --Are you for hire?
ako: Dili ko, bai. --No, I'm not (He was blocking my way out of the row.)

He got up and headed out. Thank heavens!!! I was about to go out too but decided to stay for a while because he might think I followed him. Big mistake!!!

Moments later he came back with 2 companions. My heart beat like it's gonna rip out of my ribcage. My knees were really shaking. Then all those stories about getting raped inside a cinema came flooding to my brain. Syeeet!!! I don't wanna be gang raped.

Guy1: Okei ra ka, bai? --Are you okay?
ako: Okei ra, bai. Gawas nako. --I'm okay. I want to go out now.
Guy1: Ayaw sa gud. Ari usa ta. --Wait. Let's just stay here for a while. (He and his other companions were blocking the way.)

He introduced his other companions and I nodded my head making sure not to give away my awful fright. They were asking me some things which I could no longer recall because all the time I was thinking how to get out of that place. Then,

Guy1: Okei ra nimo kung magperform sila diri? --Is it okay for you if these guys perform? (Pointing to his 2 companions.)
ako: HUH??
Guy2: Ikaw lang chupa sa ako. --Give me a blowjob. (Talking to Guy3.)

Guy2 stood up and sat on the backrest of the chair in front of Guy3. He unzipped his jeans. I have to go out! I have to go out! I have to go out! I murmured this to myself. I immediately jumped on the seat in front of me even though I wasn't sure where I would land. Luckily, I landed on my 2 feet. I scrambled my way out of the cinema and almost toppled over because my knees were shaking.

My knees stopped shaking only when I was walking again on Colon street. But my heart was still beating fast like crazy. It felt like getting through a life and death situation.

It was the scariest movie experience of all time. I swear to myself to never, ever, ever again go in that cinema or any cinema in Colon for that matter.

deja vu

2007-11-06T19:38:00.001+08:00

November started very interesting for me. I was at my Mom's last Nov 1st to celebrate the Filipino tradition of Kalag-kalag. The usual trip with my friends when I'm in town is to hit the videoke bars. We went to Pantalan where a strip of videoke bars trace both sides of the road. There I met Jenny, the itchy. She was busy entertaining other costumers but after an hour or two sat besides me and fondled me. Well actually we're fondling each other.

The next day, I went back to my place. Early morning the following day, I got a call from my 40-year-old-something, 200-lb married friend from Germany. She was horny. I was horny. We fucked on the phone. Once again, she wanted me to ass-fuck her.

Last Sunday, Nov 4th, I received a text message from an acquaintance. She was a teacher from Leyte, which I shall call Ms. D. She was on her way to the city and asked me if we can see each other. With nothing much to do that day, I said yes. She arrived around 10pm and wanted me to meet her at her room at Century Plaza Hotel in Pelaez St.

She looked nicer. Not much makeup on and I think she lost a few pounds. She asked me if I know how to massage because she was so damn tired with all the activities she did on Nov 2nd. I hesitated only for a minute.

She immediately stripped her clothes off and told me to do the same. I left my boxers on. She kept on telling me that I was a good masseur and let out a soft moan every now and then. It gave me a hard-on. I started to do some sensual massage the best way I can. I ran my fingers up from her calf to her legs ending with a gentle contact on her labia. She was wet after a few minutes. With my palms on her butt, I pushed her firmly on the bed with a moderate squeeze, released and pushed again. She was good at making those erotic moans.

I was on my knees between her legs, ran my fingers from her butt to her shoulders, massaged it gently and made sure my boner inside my boxers touched her wet pussy. I gently touched my body on her back and, while my fingers were busy with the massage on her shoulder, breathed at the back of her neck. I did this while slowly humping her from behind. It was not an easy task, I tell you. You need to have concentration to make every move coordinate. I ran my fingers down to her butt then slowly went up to her shoulders again. She was ecstatic and told me to take off my boxers. I wasn't sure if I'll go all the way. She pleaded. I gave up. She tipped me hundred pesos more.

I still can't believe everything happened in a span of 4 days.

tongue stroke

2007-10-31T23:28:00.000+08:00

I was a subscriber of Playboy magazine few years back but there's only 1 article that really captured my fancy. I could no longer remember the exact words but it was something like this - The number 1 sex fantasy of most men (in USA, I presume) is to have their girl lick their butt/butthole while masturbating their cock.

I didn't approve of this. It sounds revolting specially if I tried to picture it out. She would lick some shit in there!!!!!! No way, I said, but I have to admit, it got me curious though. So I put this on the list of things to do before I turned 30. Someday I could hire a whore perhaps to do this messy job.

On a few occasions when I talk to some women of the street, I would drop some hint about this. Most of the time, they wouldn't agree to do it. But there were a few who were open to the idea and a handful had actually done it. "As long as it is clean", they said, "and extra bucks for that extra service. A shower is a must and the buttocks have to be scrubbed thoroughly."

On a rainy night last August, I let out a loud yelp as the girl ran her tongue in my butthole. Syeeeeeet!!!!!!!!! Giloooooook!!!!!!!!!! (The number of exclamation marks really justifies my sensation at that time.) I can't stand too much tickle but at the same time it was titillating and was giving me a superb hard-on. We were in the shower as I suggested for emergency purposes. Another one long tongue stroke and I bit my finger and raised my feet. I can't take this anymore. I was panting and it makes my hair stand on end.

I looked at the girl and she was smiling. I think the bitch was enjoying seeing my reaction. I told her it's enough and went to the normal "act". I never kissed her.

unfotunate events

2007-10-27T15:59:00.000+08:00

Although I've been enjoying my sexlife for most of the time, I can't really say the same for my, uhmmm, lovelife. Syet!! I'ts kinda awkward saying that. It's giving me goosebumps... Lovelife... Syet! Luod gyud!

To give you an idea of what I was babbling about, Let me share you some of my life's unfortunate events.

At 21 years old, a few months after college, I thought that will be the end of my happy days. Although ironically my happy days haven't really started yet. You see, I hooked up with this girl that I had no intention of getting serious with. At first, I thought it's just an ordinary one-night stand. Then there's the second one-night stand or whatever it's called. The problem was she was thinking about long-term plans all the while. Eventually, I broke up with her after which a series of drama events took place.

I was breathing fresh air after that then I immediately resumed to the more important business. While I was busy doing some Houdini stuff with the girl I mentioned above (let's call her Ms. X), a blossoming relationship that started, before all the hoopla with Ms. X, got a setback. There was this girl I really liked long before Ms. X came to the scene. I was planning to ask her to be my girlfriend but got cold feet instead. I didn't have the confidence yet. It was easier for Ms. X because it was more on lust and I didn't have to talk much.

I wanted to pick up where we left off but I guess I was too late. I did try everything I could though. Mobile phones weren't that affordable and accessible at that time so I solely relied on line phones. I called her many times trying to set up a date. Most of the time it will just be me waiting for my date that will never come. And when she did make it, she looked perturbed and would stay for only a few minutes. Finally, I gathered all my courage and set up this one date where I have to tell her or else... We were to meet in Ayala. I think it was on a Saturday. I made her a card the night before, professing my... you know... I bought her a long-stemmed red rose, which costed me much considering my meager allowance at that time. She never came. I waited for almost 3 hours thinking that she might be caught up in a traffic or in an emergency meeting. After that, I gave up and moved on.

A few years after that I was on the verge of having the one. The one girl that I will.. uhmmm... you know... my whole life. I had everything figured out. The courtship, the engagement and even how we will live our life together. Sadly things didn't turn out the way we planned. Click here for more details.

Then there was this nice girl that came along. We dated for a short time. I liked her a lot but at that time I wasn't completely ready to have a relationship. On the other hand, she also had a boyfriend. I send mixed signals, I guess. There's this part that liked to know more about her but there was also a part that wanted to remain faithful to "The One". Anyway, she married her boyfriend.

The next year I started dating another girl. I really thought she'll be the one to stitch up all the pieces of my broken heart. We dated and connected well. I was scheduled for a trip to Europe and, by good fortune, she too was scheduled for a trip to Europe. The bad part was, we were to go on different countries. Nevertheless, I was ecstatic. We made some vague plans to go to Paris. Then it hit me, I will ask her to be my girlfriend when we were at the top of Eiffel Tower. Someone told me that it's very romantic up there.

I scoured the internet for Paris trips and lodgings. I planned for the best dates, the cheapest airfares, the cheapest hotels with the nicest view over the city. Unfortunately, the inevitable happened. We were really not there for sight seeing. So if work demanded your time, you can't help but say yes. The Paris trip never happend though she was able to go there with some friends.

Okay. This is making me woozy. I think I need to go and puke. Too much emotion is making me sick. teehee...

september

2007-09-30T21:46:00.000+08:00

I can't possibly go on with this blog without saying something about September. Aside from the fact that it is my birth month, which I think I share with more people here in the Philippines than those born in other months (I wasn't able to find facts about this though), it marks the onset of Christmas season. The start of -ber months as my grandpa used to tell me.

As a tradition in Belgium, there is a day in September where people celebrate free sex! How cool is that! I will put this on my list of must-go places before I die. And I need to go there while my libido is still at the top of the scale. Otherwise it would be pointless, figuratively and literally speaking.

September is also the month where FHM Philippines features Jaymee Joaquin as their online babe. I don't know about you guys but I surely can make myself cum just by looking at her on TV. I know it sounds absurd but come on. Those lips. The body. The smile. Throw in that bubbling personality and I'll go straight to cloud 9 faster than I can say Games Uplate Live.

I've never been obsessed with celebrities before except some rare occasions when I masturbated watching those sexy online photos of Angelina Jolie in an internet cafe. But Jaymee, she's just different. I usually loathed watching game shows and noon-time shows. It is an insult to my intellect. But 4 months ago when I happen to switch my TV on during the wee hours of the night, there she was, hosting a late night game show and radiating that effervescent personality which acts like an instant magnet to me.

From then on, I got hooked up. I watched the show even if I find it unpleasant (I was thinking of a stronger word but dropped it instead because it might offend Jaymee.). All the time, I just sit in front of the TV and ogle at her. I smile when she smiles, which she does very often by the way. I jump on my seat when she jumps because somebody answered the quiz. She crinkles her nose or bites her lower lip and puts her hands on her hips when she's angry. But it doesn't matter if she's angry, she looks adorable all the same. I love it when she teases her "Tito Mario" with those red-hot lips.

She likes big cars and drives a cool Mitsubishi L200 pickup and listens to old-school rock bands, which adds more to her charisma. She reads Paulo Coelho, Dan Brown, JK Rowling and more. I can't believe myself when I get anxious at the next season of ~~Pedro Penduko at ang mga Engkantao~~ Super Inggo 1.5 - a sci-fi adventure of low... uhmmmm... - because she'll be the villain.

This year, she was number 61 on FHMs list of 100 sexiest women. I'll bet my whole life savings that she'll be on the top 20 by next year.

And oh, I visited her friendster profile every now and then to check some updates and left messages on her official site's guestbook.

celebrants

2007-09-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to all September babies.
I'll name a few - Tag, Jaylyn, baby-Jaylyn, Bio, Mellany, Bossing, Laddie, Jai, Joy, my father, the late Ferdinand Marcos, and of course, me!!!!

Mag-apod-apod ta sa chocolate... Mag-apod-apod ug tan-aw... hek hek hek

Trivia: When I was in high school, my teacher used to say that the Catholic church recommends the word "celebrator" to refer to the person who is celebrating. Celebrant is the officiating priest celebrating the Eucharist. And I'd say, whatever! teehee

taking that leave

2007-08-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

Taking a leave at work to watch a first day showing of a movie about hobbits and wizards, or about a superhero that can climb walls or bench press a thousand-pound war tank is not an uncommon event here at the office. Before seat reservations were introduced to the city, we painstakingly went to cinemas 2 hours before the first showtime to fall in line at the ticket booth so we can get the best seats in the house. There would be as few as 5 or as many as 15 of us who would take a few hours off from work just to do this stunt.

Nowadays, thanks to high-end cinemas like Ayala, we can have seats reserved a few weeks before the show date so you don't have to fall on a long line just to buy those tickets.

Anyway, it's not really the point of this entry. It just caught my mind and it's nice to reminisce those old times.

The topic really is about filing for a leave of absence. Me and my officemates would do it more than once a month specially when there are a lot of anticipated movies lining in the cinema. Then the HR suddenly ruled out that it will no longer accept 'personal matters' as a reason for the absence. I ended up getting creative.

The easiest way to get out of the office at any time is to file a sick leave. I made it a point to make my reasons "discernable" so my boss won't have to pester me with questions about my state of health. Here are some reasons that I have proven effective.

mentally stressed or mentally exhausted. Well, they can't blame me. I'm working on an R&D environment and it's easy to get burned out with this kind of work.

nagging headache. It's not just an ordinary headache that can be cured with an aspirin or two. It needs more rest and by that I mean sleeping-on-my-bed kind of rest. So a 4-hour leave is definitely justified.

muscle spasm. I know that if I put 'muscle pains' instead, I would be questioned to death why I have to go home for this. So finding some nice terms that some people are not so familiar with can keep you off the hook.

intestinal blockage. Constipation has been one of the most exploited reasons for filing a sick leave. Having intestinal blockage makes the ordeal, be it true or not, sound more serious.

chronic indigestion. Another most exploited reason is diarrhea or LBM. Adding some medical terms to the issue would make matters more pressing.

pyrexia. This is just a synonym for fever. But they don't know it, do they? And if they do, just tell them that it might be a symptom for a serious infection. And you have to take the day off just to be sure.

This is getting long. I'll add more about my emergency leaves and vacation leaves on my next post.

makeover

2007-07-12T18:12:00.000+08:00

This blog needs a serious makeover. The white background. The banner. It all spells lame. A 6th grader can do better than this............ *sigh* Kakapoy baya.

bedroom moments

2007-07-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

After posting a couple of entries yesterday, I found out that I quite missed blogging. Hence this entry, a third one within 24 hours.

I want to talk about awkward moments. Not those moments when you're giving a speech or doing a presentation in front of a large crowd. I want to talk about those moments when it was just you and your partner, in all sorts of nudity.

A truckload of memories filled up my brain as I try to sort out those really awkward and funny ones.

Moment 1.
During my late teen years, when I'm not yet this proud about my sexual prowess, I was at my girlfriend's room. We just got back from the town on a Monday dawn for the university classes. Since jeepneys were rare in those hours, we decided to go to her house, which was a stone's throw away from the bus stop, and take a few hours nap. But with my girlfriend lying beside me, napping was the last thing on my mind. We were both wearing our undies. After some serious kissing and without taking off our undies, I got on top of her and slowly gyrated my hips until I started to do some dry humping. We were both so horny and she already "wet" her panties. She froze all of a sudden. "Agay! Agay! Akong bolbol napi-it!"

Moment 2.
We were at the motel. I'd been there for a few times but going there always gave me butterflies in the stomach. I always ended up relieving my stomach first before settling for the "main course". That night, I thought I will just be alright. She turned the TV on. I sat beside her, kissed her shoulder gently going up to her neck. She let out a soft sigh that gave me an instant hard on. She laid her back on the bed. "Foreplay time!", I thought. I opened my knees apart to go on top of her. But as soon as my other knee landed on the bed. I let out a loud fart. I smiled. She giggled. Back to business. But a very foul odor filled the room after a few seconds. "Baho'g otot!!!", she shouted and headed straight to the bathroom.

Moment 3.
First time checking in at Hotel Sogo in Sanciangko St. We boldly went to the front office desk. She hid herself behind me. A few people were sitting at the lounge area near the desk. I asked the lady behind the counter in almost a whisper, "Miss, naa moy available nga short time?". The girl turned to her left and searched for her colleague. She couldn't find her so she shouted at the top of her voice, "CHE, NAA PAY AVAILABLE NGA SHORT TIME??!??!??". I almost melted out of embarrassment.

Moment 4.
It was my birthday. We went to a spring resort at the south of Cebu. The place was a big disappointment but we never mind as long as we will be alone together. We were cuddling each other until our passion took the better of us. We were both butt naked. She was lying on the bed and I was on my knees by her side brandishing my proud erection. I was slithering my finger to her pussy. Making her wetter and wetter. I could tell she was in pure sexual ecstasy. I dirty talked to her in a low, sexual tone. "Basa-a na nimo uy. Ako nani tilaan." She just sighed and sighed. "Lami ni siya?", I dirty talked again hoping she would respond. And response she did but it was not what I was hoping for. She opened her eyes as if waking from a dream. Her eyes wandered from side to side. Then she answered matter-of-factly, "Ambot lang. Unsaon man nako pagkahibaw?" I broke down to laughter and really laughed my ass off. She reached for my now half-limp member and complained. "Ngee! Mingluyat."

music and lyrics and arithmetic

2007-07-11T15:11:00.000+08:00

Some of my funny experiences.

The girl on my left while riding a Vhire from Ayala to the office, hearing a Michael Jackson song on the radio, tried to do some sing-along.

girl *singing during the verse*: [unintelligible lyrcis].....

Then the chorus of the song came. She blurted out.

girl: Silly Jean not my lover, It's just a girl 'coz I am the one...

---------------------------
My neighbor waking me up with her videoke rendition of a Barbra Streisand classic.

I turn away from the wall
Istanbul and poll
But I give you it all!!!!!

I am a woman in love
And I do anything...

---------------------------
Our secretary asking me details about my previous travel.

sec: Unsa gani ka ato nga month minglarga?

ako: February.

sec: Pila diay ka months gi-tatak sa imong visa pagsulod nimo sa immigration?

ako: 6 months.

sec *counting with her fingers*: So March, April, May, June, July, August. Unya pila man ka months ang extension?

ako: 6 months gihapon, Betch. (pun intended)

sec: Ah okei. (continued her counting) September, October, November, December, January, February. Uy, 1 year diay ka didto?

ako: .....

---------------------------
Medical students falling in line in a movie theater before me.

ticket girl: Ma'am, wala na ra bay vacant sa taas. Sa ubos na lang.

student1: Pila man ang bayad sa ubos?

ticket girl: 60, Ma'am.

student1 *asking her companion*: Pila man tanan?

student2: 60 times 8. Pila mana?

student1: Naa koy calculator.

student2: 420! 420!

student1: Aysa kay atong i-calculate.

student2: 420 lagi.

student1: 480 uy.

student2: aw, 480 diay.

more some + 1

2007-07-11T15:08:00.000+08:00

Having a foursome was exactly the same as having a threesome except that, in my case, it was more taxing. The fourth member of our mini-orgy was her friend from Mindanao who was around for the summer. During the ritual, or I'd like to call it 'The Passing of Candy', they didn't want to do the girl-to-girl kissing much to my dismay. So I have to get the candy out from each of their wet mouth (tongue included) and pass it to the next anticipating mouth. It was very kinky at first then due to inebriation we would topple ourselves on the ground. The place was all stones and shrubs. I would either land on my back or on my hand while carrying her weight with my other arm so she wouldn't bruise herself. It was a physically demanding debauchery but pleasurable nevertheless.

I was nursing some bruises and minor sprains the morning after but it was the experience that made the corners of my mouth turn up.

P.S.
Neshka, thanks for reminding me of this blog.

more-some

2007-05-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

At first I was hesitant to share this experience. Only a few people knew about this. But after so many years, I decided, what the heck. I'll post this so everybody would know.

Around this time of the year, when I was still 21 years old - that's about 5 or 6 years ago - I was watching a basketball game at a nearby courtyard in my hometown. I was fuming with anger. An hour ago, I was standing outside a sari-sari store near Gaisano waiting for somebody. She's supposed to pick me up but she's nowhere to be found. I didn't have a cellphone back then so we solely rely on our land phone conversation.

After more than an hour wait, I traced my steps back and was cursing like a pissed off bitch. I decided to stop by at the courtyard to see some friends. I stayed there to cool off. Then after a while I heard her voice, "Yam, sorry gyud kaayo." I turned around and saw her with an alarming look. "Dugaya nimo uy! Minggahi na akong tiil ug hinuwat nimo!", I blurted out. "Kani man gud siya dugayan kaayo.", was her reply pointing to her gay friend. I wasn't expecting him. I thought it will just be the two of us.

I decided not to go but in the end I gave in to her insistence and also because she mentioned about free beer. We went to a reclaimed area near the market. Big stones were piled up at the end of the landfill leveled to the ground. A ridge made of cement was constructed above the stone piles. There were no nearby lampposts so during nighttime the place was almost completely dark. Perfect for dating and stuff. If you've been to my hometown, this place now is where the bus terminal is located.

We emptied a whole case of red horse and after getting tipsy, I talked my way through playing a naughty game. I brought along some candy with me. We would pass the candy from one mouth to the other without using the hands. This may sound familiar to some of you. *wink* At first, they found the game difficult. Due to intoxication, it was hard for them to keep the candy steady between their lips. We wasted a lot of candies until we were able to pass it around. There was some serious kissing involved, of course. And YES, I kissed that fag. I know. I know. It was the gayest thing ever. It was my first guy kiss and hopefully will be the last. hek hek hek hek

It was really wild. I remember lying on the grass kissing the fag while she was doing something down there. Later on, he joined her and they were doing something down there. Just imagine those 12-in-1 pirated porn videos you bought on the nearest dvd shops. I guess it would be too much to detail everything that happened that night. I'll just skip the rest and fast forward when we're all exhausted specially me.

When we arrived at her house, she was too drunk and spent to stand up. I let her lean on the wall while I knocked on the door. Suddenly her knees gave up. She bumped her butt on the dusty ground. The alcohol took away half of my strength so I just left her there until at last the door opened.

I'll tell more on my next post the time we did this again.

my first ever

2007-05-08T14:05:00.000+08:00

Aside from the summer activities this time of the year, I've been busy transferring my old blog into a new home. I was afraid that the old blogsite will close down and delete all the accounts. Sometime ago, I was planning to have another blog account. One that is private so I can pour out everything I have to say. Now, I finally found time.

I really have a lot of things to say about some people that I don't want others to read, specially if it concerns about you. Yeah, I know. It defeats the purpose of blogging. Well, I just need something to remind me when I get old and dementia or some neurological disorder will take the better of me.

Say, for example. I can't write in this blog every time I masturbate thinking about Brenda or when I imagine Macelle all naked in my bedroom. And how about Claire and all those lusts I have for her or some underwater sexacapades with Meloi or seeing my cock between Pilar's lips. I can't possibly write it all here..... I'm making you nervous, I know. I just want to make my point and I never really imagine all those things. So awful.

Okay. I'm getting hot in here and I totally miss what I wanted to post in this entry. It's not my intention to make it go this way but blame it on the weather. Too much heat wave can cause brain damage. Supposedly, my entry has something to do with orgy or stuff like that. Anyway, I need to chill down. I'll write more about it next time.

P.S.
To the concerned:
Sorry. If I offended you in any other way, you can sue me anytime. And I will understand if you're not going to talk to me or hate me for the rest of your life.

tagalog time

2007-05-07T20:19:00.000+08:00

Summer na summer na talaga. Kahit saan ka magpunta dito sa Pinas, mainit. Pwera lang siguro sa bundok at sa mga malls at sa mga lugar na merong airconditioner. Naglalakad ako kahapon sa market, feeling ko binubuhosan ng mainit na tubig ang mga daliri sa paa ko. Grabe talaga ang init. Tumutulo ang pawis kahit saan sa katawan ko. Nagmimistula tuloy akong yelo na nalanay. (Ay ewan kung ano ang tagalog ng "lanay".)

Hwag kayong magpanik dahil nagtatagalog na ako. Hindi pa kataposan ng mundo, okei? Liliit pa ang suso ni Pamela Anderson. Aabangan pa natin yan. Nacha-challenge lang akong magtagalog. Eh paano ba naman, unang-unang entry ko sa blog na ito na tagalog, eh wrong grammar agad. And to think, eh one sentence lang yun. Sige, basahin mo yung entry ko sa baba.

Napuna ko agad yan nung merong nag-first comment sa post ko. Hindi ko na lang ini-edit. Kung mababasa yan ng mga Filipino teachers ko sa high school tsaka sa college, naku siguradong ikahihiya ako. Panu ba naman. Nung nag-first year college ako, exempted ako sa final exams namin dahil ang galing-galing ko daw magbalagtasan. At sa high school naman, ang taas ng grades ko sa Theme Writing. Tsaka yung mga literary compositions ko para sa mga school-wide contests eh mga award winning. Minsan nga nabasa ko yung isang Tagalog composition ko, hindi ako makapaniwala na ganun ako kagaling. Parang sinulat ng iba. At naman, lahat ng mga grades ko sa Filipino subjects mula elementary hanggang high school, ang tataas.

Ewan kung anong nangyari sa "Tagalog-intellect" ko. Siguro nabura sa utak ko dahil sa sobrang pagda-drugs nung college pa ako. Basta pagkatapos ng second year college, hinding-hindi ko na ginamit ang wikang ito. Kaya naman nung nagtrabaho na ako at meron kaming bagong boardmate na galing Manila panay ang iwas ko. Pano ba naman yung gago, gustong-gusto makipag-usap sa akin. Smile lang ako sa kanya tapos punta na agad ako sa kwarto. Hihintayin ko munang pumasok na rin sya sa kwarto nya bago ako lalabas ulit. Pero isang araw, hindi talaga ako naka-iwas. Nag-inuman kasi sa may terrace at nandun kami lahat. Wala akong nagawa kundi makipagkwentuhan at doon ko nalaman hindi na ako marunong magsalita ng tagalog. Gusto kong itanong sa kanya kung ilang buwan na siya dito sa Cebu. Walang ibang pumasok sa utak ko kundi, "Magkanong taon ka na dito? I mean, magkanong.... uhmmmm magkanong... uhmmm How many years have you been here in Cebu?" Syet! Pagdating ko sa office, search agad ako sa internet kung ano ang Tagalog equivalent ng "how many". Doon ko pa nalaman na "ilan" pala ang hinahanap ko na salita.

Sa office naman, merong bagong pasok. Isang project manager at isang software manager. Silang dalawa galing Manila. Magkaharap kami ng desk nung project manager at sa kasamaang palad tinawagan ako ng HR personnel. "Dong, palihug kog paari ni Emil sa HR. Naa siyay sign-an nga papers." Emil yung pangalan ng project manager. Nara-ratol kaagad ako. Pano ko ba sasabihin yun sa tagalog? "Uhmmm. Emil, ikaw ay pinapatawag sa HR." Nampucha talaga! Para akong nasa classroom. Ang sentence ko merong paksa at panaguri (subject and predicate).

Hanggang sa ngayon, hindi pa rin ako makapagsalita ng maayos na tagalog. Ang laswa ko pakinggan. Ang tigas-tigas ng accent ko. At kung ilulumanay ko naman, ang slang-slang ko. Para akong banyaga. Kaya everytime na kekelanganin ng panahon, I always retort to English dahil mas mahusay at komportable ako. Bakit naman kasi Tagalog ang naging National Language natin. Eh mas marami pa atang mga Bisaya dito sa Pinas.

shout

2007-04-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

Gusto kung ma-inlab pero di ko magawa. Bakit kaya? Kapait.

help

2007-03-06T09:56:00.000+08:00

Am I really a big flirt? Do I flirt to every woman I met regardless of age? Was it intentional? These are some of the things I ponder early this morning. You see, I slept at around 2am and was woken up at 6 in the morning because of a call from a friend in Germany.

We met last year when I was sent to Kronach for a 3-month project. I met a lot of Filipinas there and some have become really good friends. But a few want something more. Almost all of them are 40 year olds and some are even older. One common factor I deduced from them is that they are lonely. They seemed to lack something in their relationship. I guess it's intimacy and thrill they don't have with their German husbands. Maybe because they cannot fully communicate everything with their partners or their husbands don't fully know how to satisfy a Filipina. But that's not really what this post is all about.

One of the Filipinas I met was Mrs. H. A 200-lb-or-more lady (judge for yourself), dark skin and a butt that could stop a raging bull from its tracks. She's 15 or 20 years older than me. Old enough to be my mother. When I came back here she used to text me a lot of things mostly of my love life. A sucker that I was to text messages, I always replied to her. I mean I just want to be nice. But lately her text messages become more and more bolder. She'll now ask for my sex life, the last time I had sex, where I did it, who I was sleeping with, etc. It even reached to the point where I don't want to answer her anymore due to her vulgarity. Something that is hardly expected from me. I know. But who in their sane mind, a guy in my age and my *ahem* looks, would like to flirt with somebody like that. She's almost thrice my size!!!

Well, if she looked something like this. I wouldn't mind all the flirts and I don't even want her to stop.

Mr. Daria, if you are reading this..... iksampol lang ni ha?? No immoral thoughts included here.

Mrs. H stopped texting for the last few weeks much to my relief but yesterday she called me on my mobile phone. She flirted a lot and I.... I flirted back. I don't know how to stop myself. Then she confessed that she liked me the first time she met me. Because of the way I acted she figures that I don't have much social restrains and that I don't mind doing things that other people would consider unethical. I felt nervous. It's not the first time somebody told me that but it certainly is the first time I hear it from a 40-something, 200-lb-or-more married woman. I couldn't picture myself having sexual intercourse with this woman. My God! What have I put myself into?

There were another round of indecent text messages I received from her after that. This time she was asking if I would have time to meet her when she will visit the country. I never replied to any of those. But the text messages kept on coming, telling me that I was this and I was that.

Then after sleeping only 4 hours this morning, my phone rang. It was a number from Germany. I picked it up and answered in my sleepy voice. It was Mrs. H. She continued her flirting and I guess she's really really horny at that time. I would sometimes miss our conversation because I would go in and out of sleep. I thought she would take a hint and leave me in peace. Instead, she asked me what I was wearing and if I have a hard on. An honest man that I am, I told her that I'm wearing only my boxers and it's very hard because it usually is during early morning. She said that she's only wearing the blanket and nothing else and asked me if I wanted her to suck it. I just replied yes. Then she made that slurping sound. Believe me if I say I hate myself for getting turned on at that. She did that for quite some time and I can't stop my cock from getting excited. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

She asked me if I liked it. I said, "Lami. Gilok." Syet!!! She added that she's already very wet and would go on top of me. I pictured those gigantic pair of asses staring at my dick. I also pictured what her pussy would look like and at that moment it doesn't matter. Yes. I will forever hate myself for that. She told me about grinding on my hard-on, pumping fast and coming at the same time. I bet she fondled herself to orgasm at the other line. After the "session" she mentioned about hugging me to sleep and that's when I lost my goddamn erection. I can't bear the thought of all those mass of woman flesh all over me. Until at last she bid me goodnight.

And that's when I thought about turning over a new leaf. A less flirtation wouldn't hurt. I'm still suffering from the trauma that happened this morning. And also if you can share me your 2 cents on how I can stop this, I would really appreciate it.

p.s.
What bothers me most is that she talked about anal sex and how I would enjoy it. She said that she's not new to that and would gladly offer her butt for my pure carnal pleasures. It would be a new experience for me, she explained, and that I would never forget it. It's a different sensation compared to pussy sex. She also mentioned blowing my load off on her face and asked me if I tried it with other women. I said no, of course. She told me that I still have a lot of things to experience.

straight record

2007-02-25T19:10:00.000+08:00

I thought nobody missed this blog. But a day after I published the previous post, people were asking me about it. Wow! Sikat nako. hehehehe. Or maybe I just have some really blabbermouthed blog friends.

Let me set the record straight and stop vexing me about it. Please... Okay. I thought it was normal to celebrate friendship but from the rather vulgar response I got, then I resolve that it is not. Yes, I do not have a sweetheart yet. I met this crazy and wonderful woman last month at the Sinulog festivities. I learned that we worked from the same company and that she already has a boyfriend. She amused me, that's all. I will not tell you more than that and use the information to pester me. So ladies, I am still very much available.

Now, excuse me. My work is waiting for me. It's been filling my schedule since the last couple of months. But by next week, I will have more time for publishing some entries.

greetings

2007-02-21T13:31:00.000+08:00

I never celebrate occasions like this. But what the heck!

Happy Monthsary!!!!

I am glad we met....

the forest camp

2006-11-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

3 days after the Bohol trip, I found myself inside a Ceres bus on the way to Dumaguete City. On a nearby town is a mountain resort famous for its natural flow of ground water. That's my destination last weekend with a couple of my friends. The spring is so inviting but it's really cold. I can't stay in the water for more than 2 minutes or I'll freeze my balls off. Entrance fee is only PHP60.00/head. Cottages good for 2 heads for a night's stay is only PHP600.00 but it's not air-conditioned. Anyway who needs it when it's cold up there. Good for cuddling and other "stuff", I tell you. *grin*

The place is called The Forest Camp as the sign suggests.

A hanging bridge. Nothing spectacular about this.

The water is really inviting. I was told that the townspeople have a subsidy of 600 pesos worth of electricity from the government. The whole town got its electricity from this spring.

The pool may look dirty but it's not. The water is from the spring so it is flowing all the time. The moss you found at the bottom is exactly the same found on the rocks in the spring.

It's not a gnome sitting on the ledge. That's me, silly.

Just testing the water. Brrrr. Cold. Cold.

Lilies! Uhmmmm... Lilies.. I can't think of anything to say more than that.

The view from the top of the hanging bridge.

The spring goes all the way to the shores of Dumaguete City. Can you see me hanging on that tree at the top of that big rock?... Just kidding..

Showing off

kalag-kalag

2006-11-06T14:35:00.000+08:00

If it was not for a very good friend from Germany who was here since the 13th of October, I wouldn't spend a whole day in Bohol and tour the entire island. The whole trip was so exhausting, then I had to report for work the following day. I told Mom I can't come to her house on Nov. 1st because of an anticipated heavy traffic and all but there I was in Bohol. But anyway, the scenery was worth it all or I just like to believe it that way so I wouldn't endlessly lambast myself for doing such a tiring journey.

The famous chocolates

Long steps going to the viewing deck

Adorable tarsiers. Made me want to squeeze them until their eyeballs pop out from their heads

Striking similarity

I'm not the mushy kind of guy but I just found this primate irresistibly cute.

father figure

2006-10-31T14:36:00.000+08:00

"Ganahan na ko motan-aw ug apo!!! Kanus-a man ko makakita sa akong apo uy?!?" (I like to see a grandchild!!! When can I see my grandchild?!?), says my Mom half-shouting and half-asking, making sure her voice will be heard by everybody else and most specially by me. She was at the kitchen with my aunties and her friends. I was at the living room concentrating on watching the Justice League beating the shit out of those aliens who were trying to invade Earth.

I went to my Mom's house last weekend to celebrate an annual reunion. But it was my first where she was constantly reminding me to go and make someone pregnant. It has something to do with my age, I guess.

Take for example this event. I was buying some crackers and an orange juice one evening at the nearest sari-sari store. The lady inside the store asked me. "Para ni sa imong anak, sir?" (Is this for you kid?) I didn't know if I will be amused or turn red with anger. I looked at her, smiled and said, "Dili uy. Gutom man gud. Para snacks ra ni nako." (Nope. I'm hungry. This is just for my snacks.) I was hoping that will be the end of our conversation but she blurted, "Si sir uy, mamakak pa gyud. Dili pa gyud moangkon. Pila na diay edad sa imong anak, sir?" (You're lying. Admit it. How old is your child?) Now, I'm the freakin' liar!!! Trying to maintain my composure, I smiled at her again, took my change and left without saying another word.

Shit!! Maybe I really look old. It must be my hair or my face or my glasses. I hope it's just my glasses because I can't do much about the rest.

Another similar incident happened last week. I was sitting on the bed inside a motel and was busy loosening the laces of my shoes. The girl I took with me asked me without hesitation, "Pila na diay kabuok imong anak?" (How many children do you have?) What the...!!! "Dili pa ko minyo uy. Ulitaw pa intawn ko." (I am not yet married. I'm still a bachelor.), I replied and raised my hand to let her see that I don't have any wedding ring. "Pero nana kay anak sa lain baye?" (But do you have a child with another woman?), retorted the girl.

WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! For now, I just want to get laid and watch those superheroes saving the planet from those who want to destroy it.

when september ends

2006-10-13T09:22:00.000+08:00

Let me wipe the dust here... And here.. Excuse me.. Better cover your nose.. I'll just blow some dust on top of this.. hoooooo!! And, I'm done!! hehehe

It's been a long, long time since I had anything on this blog. Work is keeping so much of my time. Drat!! Nothing "exciting" really happened, if you know what I mean. *wink* I haven't copulated for more than a month now. Believe me. But with the exception of my dear 'ol hand, of course. Well, don't blame me. I can't keep my hand off to myself during those cold nights. Thanks to Milenyo. teehee.

If you like to see some uninteresting pictures, scroll down below. It happened somewhere in the past month.

Birthday dinner @ Marco Polo, Cebu.
Got me a delicious birthday cake and a birthday jingle. Everybody's wearing formal attire as mandated by Norman. Well, never mind the 2 French guys. I never paid their bill anyway.

Videoke Night @ Pod5.
Pero tagay usa before singing. It's good to sing when everybody's intoxicated enough to give a damn about off keys.

A lullaby from Cleng and everybody was taken to dreamland in almost an instant.

Oktoberfest That Never Was.
After dinner at Tinder Box, we scoured the city looking for the gig but didn't find any. Fortunately, we brought along a bottle of vodka. Tagay happened at Off Roads Coffee Shop. It's my first time drinking liquor inside a coffee shop. We paid the corkage fee, of course. The rest of the night was spent dancing and grinding on Pump in Grand Convention Center. We got in for free. It was Marlboro night or something of that sort.

Night Swimming @ El Salvador, Danao
I just noticed now that we didn't have much pictures of the resort on this trip. Some were too blurry because of poor lighting and some were just plain idiocy. We didn't even have a single picture of the beach.

White buns or brown ones?

roses

2006-09-20T12:17:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday!!!!

advance

2006-09-01T13:09:00.000+08:00

At last September na! One of my colleagues at work sent an early Christmas greetings on email. But it's yet too early to think about Christmas. Let's first think about September 7...... because that's going to be my birthday!!! 29 years old nako!!!!!

I want y'all to focus your attention on what will be your birthday gift for me, okay? The easiest way to make me happy, aside from food, is to buy me an original audio cd. Below are some artists and their albums you might want to check on the nearest audio store.

- Silverchair "Neon Ballroom"
- Prodigy "The Fat Of The Land"
- OST sa Matrix part 1
- Korn "See You On The Other Side"
- System of a Down "Mesmerize"
- Marilyn Manson "Mechanical Animals"
- Static-X "Start A War"

Sige na, please, tigai ko ninyo regalo kay ako Mama dili na gyud mohatag gip nako. Tenks daan, Cha, sa imo ihatag nga CD.

mabel, disco and babag peak

2006-08-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

Before the month ends, I want to wrap up some interesting events. Bear with my writing today, I am really really sleepy.

The waitress-singer girl (Mabel) I met in Bantayan Island earlier this month looked really familiar but I just couldn't quite figure out where I met or saw her. A day after that I was mindlessly looking at some old pictures and I saw this. It's a sex scandal somewhere in Manila.

I'm not saying that the girl in the picture is Mabel but the similiraty is just too striking to ignore. I was specially curious because she mentioned in our conversation that she's from Manila and she ran away from home because of a big fight with her mother and she doesn't want to go back. The reason of which is a blurry explanation. Or maybe I'm too drank to give a shit. Either way I really don't give a damn. If this is her, it was a great loss on my part. She's hot as Dubai's weather. I hope she's still in the island when I have my next chance to visit.

On the lighter side, for 2 straight Friday nights I was in a discotheque. All to Mark's emphatic persuasion. This may not sound a big deal but for me it is. Having done everything on the dancefloor for the past 12 years, I no longer dig late night dance trips. I'm more into less crowded places with no shoes to step into. Quarter-life crisis, I tell you. These days I have the money and time to party every weekend or even everyday but I no longer have the vigor. Sometimes life can be so unfair.

There was one weekend where Norman, Auxie, Janice and me went to Babag peak to spend an evening. It was nice to celebrate Saturday night on top of a hill. But we didn't go there empty handed. Red horse was with us and made everything fun. After consuming about a dozen cans of beer, the stallion started to kick the sense out of us. Everybody was laughing for no apparent reason. We laugh at everything we said even if it's not funny. Janice laughed hysterically when she splashed half the contents of the potato chips all over the tent. Insanely, we laughed with her. It looked like we smoked some weeds but that we did not do. It was all because of the horse.

There was one scene I remember before my memory was swiped clean. I was lying on my back and was pulling Auxie's hand towards my crotch. I was so damn horny that night, haven't gotten laid/masturbated for the past couple of weeks. At first it seemed like a casual joke but then I was testing Auxie if she'll go all the way. And she didn't. Instead, she and Janice dared me to take my dick off my pants and let them see it. Of course, I did. I was getting a boner at the idea but when I really took it off, I lost concentration. I'm not a show-and-tell kind of guy. A big no to exhibitionism unless of course it's not me. So they saw my semi-limp wiener. But nobody dared to touch it even after all my pleas. Then, I slept the night away while the rest of them continued doing their crap. Norman even had a picture of Auxie pissing in front of the tent.

It was sooo embarrassing when Janice told me about it the next day when we were all sober. She even described the color of my wiener. Shit!

bantayan pictures

2006-08-11T17:36:00.000+08:00

I was so close of following Aneshka's footsteps and export everything on this blogsite to wordpress. Good thing I decided to make another entry and tried posting these pictures. It's been weeks overdue. So there you go. The bantayan island pictures.

Kota Beach Resort

Ugtong Beach Resort

Virgin Island

island trip

2006-07-28T10:54:00.000+08:00

The first thing I'll do when I get home this evening is get ready for a trip to Guihulngan (somehwere near Dumaguete or San Carlos) early tomorrow morning. I can only hope I would get a nice rest on that travel because last weekend was so damn tiring.

An acquaintance in Germany who eventually became a good friend came to visit Cebu together with her German spouse and son last weekend. They are staying in Manila and went here to see me, not only me really but also Fidel, Rommel and Mulay. Apparently, it became our responsibility to make their stay eventful. So we took Friday off (my second in a row) and headed to Bantayan Island for the weekend.

The island is still nice but the north winds at this time of the year would sweep big waves to the shores which would make swimming less attractive. We planned to hit a local pub during the first evening but a black out at 10:30 in the evening made us go to bed way too early for a Friday night.

The next day we rented a small boat to take us to Virgin Island. Nothing interesting happened there. But that night we were all determined to visit that pub especially the German guy, Rainer. He was excited to see some exotic looking island girls who were up for some good times. We finished a bottle of gin before heading to the bar. It was just 10 in the evening but being in an island I thought it was just the right moment for nightlife primetime. But seeing less than 10 people in a bar on a Saturday night dampen my party spirit and I started to get really sleepy.

I was closing my eyes and was ready to visit dreamland anytime when one of the waitresses went up the stage to join the singing. To chase the sleepiness away, I picked a flower on a garden nearby, went up the stage, gave the flower to the singing waitress, put my arm around her and joined her in singing while waving my other hand in the air. After the song, I kissed her on the cheeks and returned to my table while the band was getting ready for the next song.

I was staring intently at the waitress when she returned the stare back at me. After that she kept on staring at me from time to time paired with a teasing look - batting her eyes slowly and lustfully, putting her fingers on her neck and letting it trace down to her cleavage down to her navel and grinding slow. She did around 5 or 7 songs more then retired on a table near the stage afterwards while the rest of the band continued the show. I approached her and introduced myself.

Mabel is from Manila, only 18 years old and went to the island to escape from her mother. Yeah, she's a rebel. I'm a lousy Tagalog speaker but maybe because of alcohol and a strong desire to impress, I spoke the dialect like it was my own. We talked a lot of things until I get her message between the lines. She's for hire and there's a room near the bar that we can use for 500 pesos. For a fee of 1,500, I can have her all night for myself. I was getting excited and contemplated on having her service. Then, the son of the German guy went to our table and said, "Papa, let's go home now." I looked at my friends' table. They were all standing, laughing and ready to go back to the resort. Bastards! I promised Mabel that I'll come back later. I made plans with the driver of the sikad-sikad I took going back to the resort to fetch me at around 1 in the morning and take me back to the bar.

But as soon as I laid my head on the bed, I fell asleep right away without setting the alarm clock on my mobile phone. It was already 7 in the morning when I woke up. :'( The sikad-sikad driver confronted me. He stayed until 2 in the morning outside the resort to wait for me. I was so sorry for him and gave him a healthy tip.

It was a long bus ride going back to the city after an ordeal on a cargo/passenger barge with the strong waves. However, Rainer still got some energy left to suggest going to a strip club on Sunday night. I was already very very tired but still managed to pull myself together and survived the night. I took him to uptown area to see some exotic looking girls doing some PRs on the side of the street with their potential customers. Then we went to Mermaid and stayed only an hour. Rainer never managed to get an exotic looking girl for himself. He was very interested with girl #20 but after talking to the Mama Sang, she explained that girl #20 can be taken out at a cost of 3,500 but the problem is girl #20 doesn't go out with caucasians. We went home empty handed.

Damn blogger.com! I can't post any pictures right now. I'll get back to this next week for the pictures.

jenny, the "itchy"

2006-07-20T16:08:00.000+08:00

I was on leave last Friday and went back home to Bogo. It wasn't because of Jenny but because I badly needed rest after my stressful trip from Germany. But most of the time when I'm home, rest would become the last thing I'd do. My barkadas would usually take me to the beach during the day or to videoke bars or disco bars at night. Or if we have less money, we just stay in one place, buy drinks and make use of the videoke channel on cable TV.

My trip home last weekend was no exemption. On Friday night, we went to Pantalan where a strip of videoke bars are located wall-to-wall on both sides of the street. While strolling to see which bar is not full yet, Jenny shouted on the other side. She's so damn happy to see me. The videoke bar she's in is already full. She met me at the side of the street, hugged me and put her legs around my hips. I'm not really a muscular man so I heaved a deep sigh while lifting her. For no apparent reason, she shrieked all of a sudden that really startled me. I almost dropped her. It's like a shrill of a banshee. The shrieking continued every few minutes. She must be high or something.

My friends wanted to go somewhere less crowded so we can have the videoke machine all to ourselves but Jenny was all over me and they decided to stay in that videoke bar. Since the bar was already full, table and chairs were set up outside for us. Jenny was at my side fondling every bit of my body she can touch. We were at the side of the street where lots of people pass by but that didn't bother Jenny as her lips searched mine and French kissed me in front of the crowd!!! Those were antics I did about 10 years ago and it came as a surprise to do it again that night. The best part was when she'll occasionally reach for my crotch and grope it firmly. She made me twitch when she started to bite my nipple through my shirt. I was so damn hot. I begged her to take me home. She insisted. Her bar duties will be until 2 in the morning. If she'll go home before that, she'll forfeit a night's worth of earning.

"Nagbiga man ko sa imo." (You make me hot/lustful.), Jenny whispered to my ear after licking it. Then she guided my fingers to her wet crotch. "Pila ka round imo makaya?" (How many rounds can you go?), she whispered again. "Buhaton nako kutob sa akong makaya." (I'll do what I can.), I answered while rubbing my middle finger on her wer panty. "Tagbawa ko pag-ayo ha?" (Satisfy me, okay?)....... I'll skip this part here. The conversation was too graphic.

After an hour of fondling outside the videoke bar, I noticed my uncle - my Mama's brother, who is happily married with 2 children and a soon-to-be-born grandchild, and was in town for a seminar and was staying at our house - and a few of my neighbors inside the bar!! My uncle was also busy with a G.R.O. on his lap. I'm not used to having older relatives around while I was doing some crazy things. Good thing he left earlier with awkward curtseys to me and to my barkada as he passed by.

We were able to find an empty table inside the bar and continued our boozing there. I was able to persuade Jenny to go home with me and just come back after. We were about to head out of the bar when Paeng, one of my barkada, pulled me to the other side of the street. "Don't fcuk that girl. You'll get an itch if you do. She's dirty. If you like, just let her do a blowjob but no fcuking, okay?", he explained to me in vernacular. I was glad he told me that but unfortunately, it was a warning a week late. I hastily made up excuses to Jenny that we're hungry and we'll drop by at a nearby barbecue station and come back after. She figured it was a lame excuse but gave up when I tipped her a hundred pesos. I was a bit worried of what I heard that night. Until now, I still closely examine my genitalia to check any signs of "danger".

We headed out to the beach the next day. Jenny dropped by and joined the fun. She immediately busied herself by piggyback-ing on each one of us in the water and fondling our privates. That went on until it was time to go back home.

Even after the nice massage on Saturday night, I came back to work tired and sleepy.

jenny the gro

2006-07-18T15:17:00.000+08:00

I am so sleepy right now and I don't know how to start this entry.... Well, I'm back in Philippines a couple of weeks ago and have been so busy since that I wasn't able to post anything. My first day in Cebu was highlighted with Aneshka's birthday party. It was my first taste of home cooked Filipino yummies. Salamat kaayo 'Neshka ug sa imong mama. I really put up a great deal of effort to struggle the sleepiness weighing down over my eyelids so I can last until 11 in that evening.

The next day, I went to Bogo, that's a couple of hours drive from Cebu City, to spend my night at home. I was looking forward to a long peaceful sleep. As expected, relatives and friends swarmed over to collect their pasalubong. But that part is boring. I'll fast forward it at around 9 in the evening. I was lazily crouching on the sofa, watching TV and hoping sleep would catch me soon when one of my barkada came over and asked for a bottle of San Mig Grande. I can tell he was already drunk. I gave him 3 bottles to his delight. He brought it to the next house, which is a newly renovated 2-story building with rooms for rent. A few minutes later, he called me again and asked me to join him and some of our friends upstairs on my neighbor's house. I obliged to exhaust myself so I can sleep the night away.

There were 5 of us surrounding a round table on the patio upstairs. The nearest room to our table is solely occupied by Jenny. She worked in a videoke bar as a G.R.O. She was the 6th in the group and was wearing a pair of red panties and red bra wrapped in red sarong. She has a nice face, petit, around 5 feet tall, fair brown skin with little love handles here and there. She's a frisky little woman, hopping from chair to chair. She was kinda aloof of me at first but eventually opened up and sat beside me. After a few round of drinks, I was ready to call it a day but Jenny dragged me to her room so she can give me her broken mobile phone for a repair in the city. We were discussing about what happened to her phone when suddenly she pulled me to her bed gave me a deep kiss and massaged my crotch at the same time. I was surprised only for a few seconds then returned the favor. We were ready to do it right there and then, but a bit concerned about my friends talking rather loudly outside. She whispered to my ear "Come back when they've left. Just knock the door, okay?"

I went home and laid myself to bed expecting to visit dreamland right away but the heat I got from that sudden rush of excitement burned deep inside. I was sweating. At around midnight, I went outside the house to check if my friends had left. They're planning to hit a videoke bar. When I was sure that everyone was gone, I slowly went outside and tiptoed my way to the next house. I really don't know why I have to tiptoe when I can walk normally. Maybe it's because of guilty conscience. I was about to open the gate when I noticed someone stirred from the patio on the second floor. Shit! It was the landlord. He might have suspected something when I went inside Jenny's room. I traced my way back and hid behind the tambis tree. The landlord was puffing a smoke and was deep in contemplation. After 10 minutes or so, I started to pray that he'll be over with whatever he's thinking and get the hell out of there. The damn mosquitoes started to pester me. I thought of going upstairs and making some really lame excuses of the need to see Jenny. But whatever excuse I came up with, it all smells fishy.

So, I waited for I don't know how long until the bastard decided to come down. I, on the other hand, almost lost all my blood to the mosquitoes. I waited a few minutes more after he disappeared to make sure he wouldn't spot me sneaking my way upstairs.

I unloaded 2 weeks worth of "fasting".

beauty products

2006-07-02T22:22:00.000+08:00

I've never used so many beauty products in my life until I came in this country. If you happen to drop by at my apratment in Cebu and use my bathroom, the only toiletries you'll see are body soap, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash and a shave.

Courtesy of my beauty expert, I now use honey on my body!! I never imagined something you use in the kitchen can be a good body toner after applying liquid soap with some skin moisturizers I don't even know how to spell... Well, maybe because it's written in German. hehehe She even suggested I try mixing milk and honey and put it in a hot tub! All these time I thought you can only dip bread or maybe a cookie in a mixture of milk and honey, but my goodness, you can also do that with your body!!!!

I got skin whitener for the pimple marks, morning face lotion, evening face lotion (I really don't know what's the difference), morning lip balm, evening lip balm, afternoon face cleanser, evening face cleanser, body lotion, body toner, face toner. I even have that small bottle with blue cap for my balls so it won't dry and itch. hehehe What used to be a 15-minute bath routine has blossomed into a 30-minute cosmetics application.

Anyway, it will be over once I get back to Philippines. I can't live my life with this kind of morning rituals. I wonder how girls do that.

tabang!!!

2006-06-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

Naa koy dako nga problema.

Sa tanto nakong pasakayg istorya sa mga pinay nga naa diri, naka-ila-ila kog usa ka baye. Ambungan ug tahom gyud siya tan-awon. Mingsamot ko kaganahan sa iya kay pormal kaayo tan-awon pero warak pod kaayo kung pasultion. Malingaw kaayo ko. Unya pa gyud matupungan ako kabuang. Sexy, morena, maldita ug taas pa gyud. Murag taas lang kog half inch. Makaotot lang mig kinataw-anay basta mag-uban mi.

(Dako nga) PERO.., naa lang siyay bana. Sige nako binuang nga kung mabiyuda gani siya, tawagan dayon ko kay makigminyo kos iya basta dili lang moreklamo sa Filipino size. hehehe..

Ang ako diay problema kay dili tungod ako siyang napamabdosan. Although sige mi binuang ug istorya kabahin ana. Lisod kaayo foreigner ang bana unya ang anak kay pwerting bisayaa. Wala gyuy foreign trace bisan gamay. Klaro kaayo...

Okei, ang ako gyud problema kay mangayo siyag picture nako. Naa unta koy daghan litrato pero ang iya ganahan kay kana kunong naghubo ko tanan unya dapat nagbarog ang akoa! Dapat daw whole body nga kita gyud ang ako nawng. Manghatag man ko nude pictures sa akong mga ka-chat online pero dili akong lawas. Dali ra kaayo magsearch sa internet. Maglisod man ko panikas sa iya gamitan lang ug Photoshop kay kita naman siya sa ako lawas. Makahibaw gyud siya kung gi-edit nako ang picture. Unya pa gyud pakapinan nako ug video. Videohan daw nako ang akoa nga luyat hangtod padung ug kaisog! Birhen nga maloloy-on!!!

Mingsuway kog picture-picture sa ako kaugalingon pero kataw-anan kaayo ko tan-awn. Dili nako feel nga sexy ako picture. Samot pa gyud nga nagvideo-video ko. Lainan ko magtan-aw. Nagproblema ko kay sige naman to pamugos unya dili ko ganahan nga madisappoint to. Magminaldita pa gyud kung mosuway ko ug balibad.

Unsaon man ni nako uy. Tabang!!!

the great weekends - bremen

2006-06-26T02:39:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, it was an invitation from a new friend in Bremen. The place is more than 500 kms away. That means I'll have a lonely trip for more than 5 straight hours!

Bremen is a beautiful city. Not so big but not that small. I lost EUR 250 on shopping centers. Atay! We went to Hamburg at around 3 in the afternoon. It was an hour away. The main course of our trip was to - guess what?... visit the red light district. I like going there but I was a bit worried. Everytime I went to places, my friend always took me to strip clubs. I wonder if I'm such a pussyface or if there's something written on my forehead, like "I 'heart' vagina". I remember going to Fulda the first time. It was Fidel and Davs' despedida. Liquor was overflowing and everything was delicious, from the food to the dessert to the booze. I got a bit tipsy and started to dance everybody. Now everybody in Fulda calls me 'gigolo'. I was ashamed of myself.

Back to the topic. Hamburg is a really big city. The city buzz is highlighted with celebrations for the World Cup. People of different races were haggling each other. We toured around the city until our knees gave up. Then at around 10 in the evening, we decided it was the right time to go for the main course. There was miles and miles stretch of sex clubs for all gender and all sexual fantasies you can think of. Straight sex, gays, lesbians, bondage, role playing, grannies, trannys, anals, big boobs, small boobs, vampires, leather, tae-tae, black, caucasians, asians (even Filipinas!), and all other kinky things I can no longer describe. There was this one covered corner that leads to another stretch where the windows are covered with glass. Inside it are girls of different colors and sizes wearing nothing but G-strings. They sit on stools with legs spread. Each time people pass them by, they open the upper part of the glass window, call you and make some kinky offers. I tried conversing with one of them and it was EUR 100 for sexy massage and blowjob. Of course, I declined the offer. hehehehe

Then it was time to hit one strip club and spend the rest of the night in there. We went to Doll House, Table Dancing. The place is for both sex. There were a lot of sexy women strutting their boobs and pussies on some tables and there were also buffed up men dancing on the other tables (To the delight of my lady friend). I'm too hungry to detail what happened inside. I only need 3 letters to sum everything up - F-U-N.

Note: Pictures will be posted later after I treated my hungry stomach...

the great weekends - bad kreuznach

2006-06-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

Like most stories, the best part of my stay here came late. I blame it partly on the weather. The cold season lasted 2 months more than it should. Then I was sent here all by myself. Nobody to sit with me in the car to make long drives a little less tiring. But anyway, I'm not gonna dwell on that.

Three weekends ago the sun started to really shine and the cold wind's gone. Invitations from old and new friends came left and right. My first visit was in Bad Kreuznach. I have 2 classmates from high school, one married a German and the other an American soldier stationed in Germany, that reside there. Then another high school mate, a nurse in UK, visited Germany. So we made it a point to have a get together. It was a stressful 4 hours drive. I was expecting a nilagang baboy or baka, or perhaps tinolang manok on my dinner plate after my ordeal on the freeway, but that darn Jean, the host, only cooked lousy longganisa for me. I was complaining about it until the day I left their place.

I was tired from the drive and it was very late (around 11PM) but I still say yes when they plan to go to Frankfurt that night. It was all worth it. The city was celebrating for Germany's win on a match in the World Cup. People were boozing, dancing, singing and shouting everywhere. But it was great to see a lot of police patroling the street. At first glance, you thought there was a coup d'etat. Then later on you'll realize that the police was really monitoring the city for any riots or whatsoever. Anyway we didn't join the celebration. We were looking for the red light area. It was a great night. All traces of tiredness vanished when we went inside a strip bar.

The next day I was delighted to know that they don't have an itinerary for me. I immediately suggested to visit Rizal Park at Heidelberg, an hour drive from their place. It would have been totally uncool if it was in the Philippines. But since Rizal Park is situated on a mountain in Heidelberg, Germany then patriotism got the better of me. We were all surprised to see Jose Rizal Street near the park. It was a stroll in the city after a few pictures with the doctor. The day wasn't complete without dropping by at a discotheque before heading home at around 4 in the morning.

We only slept 5 hours then we had to get ready for a day at the "Mud Park". It was like a 2-hour treck on different surfaces - clay, grass, a lot of variety of wood, river, muddy water, steel, pebbles, rocks, rope - and we had to walk barefoot. It costs me EUR 2.50 to punish my feet! The reason for people flocking in there? Since life has been so comfortable in this country, they have to get in touch with nature literally. In my country, I do this all the time for free!

old flirtings

2006-06-15T20:27:00.000+08:00

This is a post from my now defunct blog about 2 years ago. Although I still can't muster the courage to read most part of the blog (for some very stupid emotional reasons), I was able to extract this one post. I'd like to see if someone would recognize the characters. Note: All names are replaced for confidentiality's sake.

September 2004.
Begin post.
My officemates went out to see Mr. Ie for a get-together or something. Let me see who's in attendance: Ms. S, Ms. G, Ms. Tt, Ms. Y and Mr. P. Then after a couple of hours, Ms. Im, Ms. Il, Mr. R, Ms. Cy and Ms. O came over. We were at Mr. A's in Lahug.

Conversation was okay until Ms. Im and Ms. Il came into the scene. There was a lot of flirtings going on. I mean among Ms. Im, Ms. Il and me, or maybe it was just the alcohol. But Mr. P noticed it and told me about it on our way home.

When we went out of the office a while ago, I saw Ms. Im and Ms. Il making their way out at the gate. Then Ms. Im teased me about Ms. Il. Ms. Il retorted back that it was Ms. Im who has a thing for me since way back we first met. I dismissed the idea, of course. It's too much flattery to handle and I'll end up blushing. I don't like the feeling at all.

At Mr. A's, things heat up or maybe it was for lack of anything else worth all our while. But anyway, the teasing continues. Good thing it's kinda dark on our table so nobody would notice my blushes. I noticed, and Mr. P noticed it as well, Ms. Im was constantly giving me a look. It might be a seductive look or just the way she looks at people. But it was giving me that burning sensation. Ms. Il also gave me a seductive look once in the office. I felt like I was melting.

Few more hours passed and Ms. Il sat beside me. I was beginning to sweat. I was in heat. Somebody in the crowd noticed my sweating. I couldn't care any less. She made tissue flowers and gave it to me. She even put one on the pocket of my polo. My knees began to weaken. Then all of my bones followed. If they would invite me at that time, I will surely do anything.

When we are about to leave, Ms. Im and Ms. Il rode in Ms. Cy's car while I was at Mr. Ie's. I gave them a glance when they boarded the car and saw Ms. Il with that look again. I was getting goosebumps at that time. Somehow the devil slumbering inside me tried to get hold of me. I was very much tempted to get in that car and have a good time with Ms. Il and Ms. Im or if that's what they're up to. On the other hand, the thought of Ms. I and me settling down held me on the other end. The thought of Ms. I giggling and giving me that childish smile kept my decision firm. I want to settle down as soon as possible and not make things more complicated than they already are.

Ms. Im and Ms. Il with me on bed is more than I could ask for. I could imagine more than a couple of positions we can get ourselves into. Curacho almost bursted out of my pants. These thoughts played in my mind during my ride home. I tried to convince Mr. P to stop by at Fashion Bar near Super Metro Mandaue and he can go to El Marino downstairs. But he declined. I was in heat when I went home. I screwed myself twice just to get over the burning sensation.
End post.

tagged

2006-06-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

Uy! This would be my very first "tag-tag" thing. I used to ignore this 'coz it's more like a girl's game but since I have nothing else to post then be it.

Joys And Delights. Bow.
The rule. Name 10 of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick 10 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative, and not to use things someone else has already used.

I get easily delighted with many things, even with the simple ones. Yeah, I admit it. Mobu ra kog kalipay. (Short happiness? Quick joyfulness? Easily satisfied? Basta. Whatever. I won't let my brain bleed for the english term of this. It's already 7 in the evening and I haven't had dinner yet.) So, 10 is a short list for me.

1) Cooking a delicious meal. I have so many "palpaks" when my hands began to tinker the cooking dish and the laddle. It never fails to lift my spirit if my cooked dish tastes a little closer to Mama's cooking.
2) Having a good night sleep. I usually smile when I woke up a little earlier and realized that I slept more than 7 hours.
3) Taking a long shower. Hot or cold, depending on the weather. I love to savor the lather on my skin and on my hair. Bathtub is also great but I get irritated when it took so many minutes to fill the tub.
4) Eating a delicious meal. This should be my no. 1 but the list is in no particular order. It doesn't have to be gourmet or anything of that sort as long as my taste buds agree with it. I have a very low standard on food taste. I always label my meal delicious most of the time even if it's as worse as my own cooking.
5) Communicating with friends. Be it on constant emailing, online chatting, "physical" chatting (you know what I mean.), or telephone/VOIP conversation.
6) Watching good movies. My preference is wide when it comes to movies. I'll watch almost anything. But Tagalog movies?... Well, some of them.
7) Buying something new. Be it an audio CD, shirt, jeans, boxers, socks, PS2 games, etc.
8) Hearing my favorite song played on the radio. I got a long list of favorite songs. It ranges from metal-scraping rock music to orchestra-accompanied classical songs.
9) Seeing a cute baby. Haaay! I love babies and longing to have one. Unsaon mani uy. hehehe
10) Getting laid. Saving the best for last. No further explanation needed.

After reviewing all 10, it looks like I'm happy almost all the time.

eating your egg

2006-05-18T19:44:00.000+08:00

One nice thing I learned from Germans is the "civilized way" of eating an egg. First of all, this has no other connotation or whatsoever. We're talking about eggs we eat during breakfast or, in some cases, specially at Lear, during dinner. *sigh* I miss my silogs and scrambled eggs.

In my 5 weeks here, I never encountered a sunny-side-up or a scrambled egg during breakfast. (I eat breakfast in the hotel restaurant, by the way.) It's always hard boiled. But they serve it on a nice little plate specially made for hard-boiled eggs. Then the nice little plate is placed on a platito (<-haay ambot unsay iningles ani) with kutsarita (<- utro pa ni) on the side.

I was tempted to smash the egg shell on the table. That's the way to do it in my country - simple and direct. But in this country, it's quite different. Well, maybe, tapping the egg shell slowly with the spoon until it cracks might be acceptable. But no, siree. That is not acceptable.

1) First you need a knife.
2) Hold the top of the egg with your fingers.

3) Place the knife an inch below your finger. Or just enough to make a good clean blow.

4) Strike the egg slowly but firmly enough to break the shell without smashing it to pieces.

5) Slice your way to the other side until the top comes off.

6) ...and you're ready to indulge.

7) You can top it with whatever you like. I tried salt, Nutella, orange jam and strawberry jam. It tastes great.

sunday nothing

2006-05-16T22:21:00.000+08:00

I have to post an entry 'coz it's been quite sometime since my last one. But what can I share? I don't have much adventures here as I do in Philippines. But I'm hoping not to trip and fall head first when I get out of the car like Ylan. hehehehe

I thought going to an internet cafe in Lapulapu ('coz there's nothing else to do) was lame. But taking pictures of myself in the hotel on a Sunday morning is lame to the infinity! I never thought I would do this but here it is.

Tele all day.

God, I don't even know what to say about this picture!

Got to finish my grapes with a bottle of wine.

Stocking some euro cents on top of my tripod. So damn lame!

I'm still guessing as of this moment what to call this entry.

foreigner

2006-04-28T15:58:00.000+08:00

The Bavarian part of Germany, which I am now, is known for its landscape - beautiful hills, thick forests, nice Bavarian houses and buildings. Add it with German aesthetics on furnitures, appliances and architecture, and it makes a picture perfect place. I am almost certain that the standard Bliss wallpaper found on msXP OS was captured on this side of the world.

Yet, I'm not feeling excited about the whole situation. Something's missing.

When I went to the U.S. 4 years ago, I dreaded the fact that I will be in a foreign land, completely ignorant to the culture, to the way of life. I could write a book about all the blunders I made while I was there. I never imagined things work this and that way in a first world country. I never looked back and felt sad about leaving the warm Philippines, about leaving my friends. In fact, the place grew in me. I could see myself living and growing old in that foreign land. I began to like the cold weather and the snow. It didn't make me sad. I could only recount 1 out of 365 days that I felt homesick - it was only during my birthday.

But now and here, it was different. I kept on thinking about the laags, gimiks and dine outs back in Cebu, specially the beach under the Philippine sun. Here, there's Munich, Berlin, Frankenfurt, Spain, even France to go to. Or go even further like Portugal, Denmark, Netherlands, Italy - all within my reach (if I only have the time and the budget, of course.). Still it didn't appeal to my senses.

Maybe because I don't know the language. I don't feel welcome. I was a total alien. In the US, I can easily blend in. Here, I don't even know what to reply to the sales lady if she asks me something or to a cute stranger I met along the way. If I went to the supermarket and pay the cashier, I will be very glad to say "tschuess" (read as choos, bye in English ) because that will be the end of the conversation. When I went to the gas station and wanted to use the restroom, I can't just barge in to the cashier and ask for the key. So I have to punish my bladder.

There are a lot of Filipinos, Pinays to be specific, in nearby cities. But they are not enough to satisfy my hunger for parties and good times. They're older women and have totally different meaning of good time. They like to talk about who's beautiful, who's got the nice boobs, the nice ass, the nice body, the clearer complexion, the sexier dress and so and so. And I am teaching them boogie for a party presentation this 6th of May! I still can't recall how I get myself in this ordeal. I have to add though, they are all extra nice. I felt so at home when they are around. Some would remind me of my real tiyas back home. They're so concerned about having enough food to eat for the day.

I'm counting the days I'll be back home and basking under the hot sun.

wagtang ang duka

2006-04-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

Ako lang ni i-post kay nawagtang gyud akong duka ani nga chat ganina. Former officemate ni nako nga pwerting sipata. Kung imo siya tan-awn kay mura siya anghel nga dili makabuak ug plato. Pero kung magchat na gani, ambot lang... (note: some names are edited for confidentiality's sake)

me: hi tsiks... dili pa ka matulog?
cSaGmail: 10:00 sa gabii??? buntag pa na sa ako hehehe
me: bitaw sa? kaliwat man diay kag witch
cSaGmail: oo ... ako ra witch nga buutan
me: ayaw sulti ana, makilatan gani ka diha sayo gyud na mabyudo si mr d...
cSaGmail: ok ra kay ning promise man ko sa akong self nga mangalag ko sa akong tanan kaila hehehe
me: pagsul-ot unya ug t-back or brazilian cut nga panty unya victorias secret nga lingerie para sexy kaayo ang mokalag sa ako... tingalig marape pa hinuon nako hehehehe
cSaGmail: na naunsa ..miski na rape-pon tika walay pulos kay molusut ra..mora ka gajerjer ug hangin
me: bahala na kay naay hangin... kung maglolo gani kay huna-huna ra gyud kutob... hehehehe
cSaGmail: haha atay...
me: magchange topic ta, pretty c, kay nanginit na ko diri asa diay ron ang imong mr pesky?
cSaGmail: pangita diha germanese (kay girl man). naa diri sa akong tapad nag dukduk pud sa iya pc
me: mura diay internet cafe ang inyong balay sa?
cSaGmail: oo pwede mi magduwa ug network games. pero mas lingaw cguro ko kung laing network ang among himoon
me: ahehehe... sipat man ka uy... lisod pangita diri germanese uy kay lisod idiskarte nga mag-german. naka-disco mi last saturday kay daghan unta kaayo tsiks didto
cSaGmail: syaro wa dyud kabalo mo english
me: kabalo mo-english pero lisod kaayo sabton
cSaGmail: ning attempt na lang tani ka ug sabot...tsk! naka take home unta ka
me: tutok ra gyud intawn ko kutob sa mga puti nga paa ug sa hamis nga lawas... ang ako nabal-an nga german kay "danke" ug "goten morgen" ra gyud - "thanks" & "good morning"
cSaGmail: tsk..bastos lagi paminawon ang goten morgen.. murag oten gi murder hehehe
me: amaw!! bastos gyud kag huna-huna da.. birahi na imong bana sa imo kilid ay
cSaGmail: akong murderon iyang oten ayaw pud intawon
me: hehehe... ayaw lang murdera uy.. paaka lang..
cSaGmail: ay da way flavor!
me: hmmm... tigaan unya tikaw ug para flavor ana... mangita ko diri
cSaGmail: hahaha ayaw lang pud nang sud-an nga flavor ha kay basin tinud-un nako ug kaon
me: hehehe... dili tikaw tigaan ug humba or chicken-adobo flavor uy unsa man imo ganahan? cherry, strawberry, pineapple, honey or apple flavor?
cSaGmail: strawberry para murag gi pimple
me: hahahaha... buang!! mura ra man na siya colorless nga lotion.. wala kay matilawan nga liso-liso uy. pag-abot nako gikan sa u.s. kay naa ko da daghan. daghan pod ming-ingon nga nindot kuno kay tam-is tam-is
cSaGmail: ows? NGANONG WALA MAN KA NANGHATAG NAKO! tsk!
me: maulaw pa man ko atong mga panahona.. tingali mo-ingon ka nga pervert ra kaayo ko.. mabad shot unya ko sa imo. mingsulay pod ko palit atong pump-pump nga isul-ot sa oten para palami
cSaGmail: nya unsa feeling ato? kita nako ana diri
me: kapoy man to uy kay ako man ang magsige pump... mahawoy akong kamot kadugayan. dugay ko magul-an.. ako na lang dayon kuhaon unya kamoton na lang...
cSaGmail: nangita ka ug tig pump.. katong mga txt mate nimo
me: txt mate ra ba ta hehehehe mabastos man ko basta ikaw ako kachat, pretty c, i wonder why
cSaGmail: i wonder why pud nga am so wholesome man ko ka chat
me: saba diha uy kanus-a gyud intawn ka nawholesome
cSaGmail: katong naa pa ko sa tiyan sa akong mama
me: hahahaha sakto!! kay paghilak nimo, kabalo dayon ang doktor nga bastusin gyud ka nga bata
cSaGmail: at least paghilak ra ikaw kabalo na cguro imong mama daan naa pa sa tiyan.. oi oi..mo ebs sa ko
me: hala sige... ba-bye.. ayo-ayo sa pag-ebs

Naglain pod tingali ang lawas ani niya kay ming-adto man ug c.r.

alemanya

2006-04-13T19:06:00.000+08:00

Germany is, well, full of Germans. Everything is in German. The driver who fetched me from Nuremberg airport can't speak and understand any single English word I say. All we did was shake hands. I told him about the cold weather but all he did was shrugged and raised his hands to inform me that he doesn't understand. After a few minutes of driving, I noticed that I wasn't buckled up. I told him that I forgot to strap my seatbelt because in Philippines we're not used to seatbelts. But we're not driving as fast as 100kmh and blah blah blah. He stared at me as if to choke me to death, gave me a sly smile, nodded his head in disapproval and shrugged his shoulders. Pshew! I gave up.

My first day of work. I felt like I stand out with all the colors on my golf shirt (they usually wear dark colors), my deep brown skin, my earring and, of course, my *ahemm* young looks. I only realized later that a lot of people are wearing earrings and there are plenty of young-looking engineers. Pisti uy! An engineer in the testing department said that I'm sooo brown. What the hell did he expect? Michael Jackson? Temperature in the tropical and exotic Philippines goes as high as 35C! And besides I'm proud of my brown skin.

I was impressed to see that my computer and project setup were all in place the day I arrived. I got a spanking new 21" LCD monitor. But my spirit soared down the moment I realized that the OS is in German. Tears almost fell down my cheeks when I take a look at the RTOS software and mostly are in German. The damn variable names and function names are in German. The comments are in German. Furthermore, the schematic diagrams are labeled in German. WAAAAAAAAAAH! I think it was easier to "trap my fart" (in Bisaya: magbitik sa otot).

tugnaw

2006-04-13T17:28:00.000+08:00

Mao poy nakadaot aning tugnaw ang panahon, magsige lang gahi ang akoa. Haaaay! Modaot kog samot ani ba. Maayo gani kay magjeans ko diri sa office, dili maklaro. Mga lami ra ba kaayo ang mga German tsiks, mga slim nga bus-ok. Grrrrr. Dyo want to have my baby? hehehehe

kalit

2006-03-23T17:52:00.000+08:00

Nag-ilis ko ganina. Mga alas dyes to sa buntag. Padung ko sa opisina. Ang akong bag-o nga Sony Wega langas kaayo. MYX sa Studio 23 ang channel sa TV. Nahuman na ang Daily Top 10. Ang sunod nga ipasalida kay Take 5. Lima kabuok kanta sa same artist ang ilang ipakita. Ang featured nga mangantahay kay si Josh Groban. Dili kaayo ko fan aning tawhana.

Ang pirmero niya gikanta kay To Where You Are. Nindot man diay kaayo ni siya ug tingog. Mao diay sikat kaayo ni siya. Gipakita dayon ang Broken Vow paghuman. Ambot naunsa ko atong mga panahona nga nagsakit man ako dughan. Paghuman kay You Raise Me Up ang gisunod. Sa kani nga higayon kay mingkalit lang tulo ako luha unya mingtyabaw ko ug hilak.

Pisti uy! Mga baye ra man ako nabal-an nga mangita ug rason para lang mohilak. Ngano nag-ingon ani man ko? Mag-ingon ani pod kaha ang ubang mga laki? Wa na, nabayot na tingali ko. Kung mangutana ko sa ubang mga baye kung ngano, tubagon lang kog, "Gidugo tingali ka.". Dili gyud makatabang sa akong pangutana. Mao na ako na lang ning iblog.

Maglagot ko nga wala ko kabalo nganong mingkalit ra ko ug hilak. Pero dili pod ko ganahan makabalo kung ngano minghilak ko. Libog sa?

atbang

2006-03-23T15:45:00.000+08:00

After my 12 hours stay at Manila yesterday, I was reminded why I dreaded coming to that place. It's not a bad place at all. In fact, I was dreaming to have a whole week stay in there and experience how wild Manilanians get when the sun sets.

I arrived around 6 in the morning. Took a taxi and told the driver that I'm heading to Makati Medical Center. The truth is I'll be going to RCBC Tower fronting the hospital. But I was searching for the Tagalog term of "atbang". During my ride, I realized that I need to tell the driver that I want to be parked on RCBC Tower. I desperately scanned my brain for Tagalog vocabulary but nothing came out. I contemplated calling Clara but it was still 6 in the morning. She wouldn't want me disturbing her about a stupid Tagalog term that early in the morning. So I took my chances with the driver. Miraculously, he knew where RCBC Tower is and began his chit-chat about it. Damn! It was good he knew the place but please spare me the conversation. My tongue is too ill-positioned to speak the dialect. I only laughed and butted my "oo nga po", "tama nga ho", "ah ganoon ba?" every now and then.

RCBC Tower is one hell of a building. There are a lot of elevators but not all would stop on each floor. A set of elevators would go directly to floors 31-45. Another set would go to floors 21-30 and another set is for floors 1-20. The bad part is I didn't know. I immediately embarked on the elevator and searched for 25 but dammit, I couldn't find the number. I tried searching on the other side but it was not there either. A thought of going out in the elevator came late. It was already speeding towards 31st. *sob*

The interview went okay if you call it an interview at all. The consul didn't ask me anything. He only said that he can't give me a multiple entry visa since it was my first. Then, he told me that I need to photocopy my insurance docs and that's it.

The hard part is getting to where the photocopy machine is. The guard said it was on the 3rd floor. I now knew what elevator to take. After embarking, I was surprised to see that there is no other buttons on the elevator except for G. Waaaaah! How can I get to the bloody 3rd floor?!? The LED indicator suddenly stopped at 3. What the?!? Is it a mind-operated elevator? I was sure I heard the sound of the elevator door opened but the door in front of me remained closed. I turned around and saw that there is another door at the back. Oooooh! When I passed the back door, I took a glimpse of all the buttons besides it. Nandyan lang pala kayo, mga hinayupak na buttons!

I was avoiding conversation as much as I can. But the damn driver of the taxi I took going to Glorietta wouldn't let me. He asked me if he should turn left. How would I fucking know? But I said, "Oo ho. Kaliwa ho tayo." just so he wouldn't think I'm an out-of-towner. Then after a few more turns he asked again. "Sir, kaliwa ho tayo o mag-U turn tayo dito." Puta talaga ang ina niya. Hindi ko alam! I only said "U turn tayo" English kasi. Holy animals! Are we not there yet? For the last time he asked me, "Saan ho kayo bababa? Dito o doon pa?" . To stop our conversation right there and then. I told him "Dito lang ho tayo." though I'm not exactly sure if the building is Glorietta. Fortunately, it is.

Lunch was at a Vietnamese resto in Glorietta after I pestered Clara with text messages asking what's a good resto that is not in Cebu yet. I invited her to join me and to my delight she said yes. *BIG grin* But only after I cajoled her to the point of begging. hehehe... Ako siya gi-bribe ug free lunch and free one-way taxi fare. At first she insisted that I should buy coffee and look for some chiks rather than invite her for lunch. My goodness! I can't even stand a simple conversation with a taxi driver! My stomach could no longer withstand the hunger so I ordered first. After I finished and paid everything, the waitress came to my table. "Sir, tapos na ho ba kayo? Meron po kasing naghintay sa table nyo." I was strucked. Tabaaaang! Unsaon nako pagtubag sa Tagalog? I need to stay and wait for Clara. I stared at her wide-eyed for a few seconds but I still couldn't form a Tagalog sentence to answer her. "I'm waiting for somebody to join me. She should be here in a minute or two." Syit! I'm such a disappointment to my Filipino teachers. Now, I wonder how I got exempted from final exam in my Filipino 1 in college.

I finally experienced watching movie in a THX certified theater in Greenbelt. Cinema 1 and 2 lang ang ilang THX. Salamat diay kang Clara sa pagtultol sa ako didto. Libog kaayo ang Glorietta. Daghan lusot-lusot to other malls and department stores. Although, the movie, Ultraviolet, was a big big disappointment, I was thrilled nonetheless to feel the pure bass of THX shaking the movie chairs.

P.S.
I have seen women wither after marriage. I've also seen some who blossomed. But I've never seen someone blossomed sooo beautifully and sooo attractively until I met Clara yesterday. Mingsamot ug kagwapa unya mingsexy pag-ayo. tsk tsk tsk. Ataya! Wala nasayang ang free lunch. hehehehe World peace, Clara!

akong miga

2006-03-14T15:15:00.000+08:00

naa koy miga
gwapa
ang iyang pahiyum
makabuslot ug brip
kung siya motutok
sus, ang akong bukog
murag mangadugmok

pirmi lang magtabisay
ang akong laway
labi na kung magpadunghay
sa iyang buhok unya dayon ug labyog
padung sa iyang abaga
haaaay! manggahi akong lawas
unya panington ug bugbog

kanus-a kaha ni siya nako ma-angkon?
sa ako ra gyud tingaling mga damgo
ug kada buntag kung magtanga
sige huna-huna
kung unsa kanindot kami duha
maglabing-labing, magsweet-sweet
unsaon na lang. kapait!

palihug, sagpaa ko
para makamata sa kani nga damgo
magsakit lang ako ulo
nga bisan unsaon
dili gyud mi magkadayon
maypa na lang mokaon
para mawala ning gutom
ug malimpyo ang utok
sa mga butang dili dapat ihinuktok

long time

2006-03-10T10:04:00.000+08:00

I have a lady friend. Well, I got lots of them. *big grin* But this particular one was dumped by her boyfriend 5 months ago without any explanation. He just did and I know how heartbroken and devastated she's been. Although she can't help herself if she became frail at cajoles and annoying taunts (It's like that in the office. Everybody wants to pester everybody else), I specially admired her for standing up and showing courage to go on even if she had to endure seeing the only person that captured her heart every single working day! (Syit, drama!)

After 5 months, he just realized that it's time to explain what happened and set a date to talk to her. I know exactly where and when but I'm not going to tell. (Dili ko tsismoso ha. hehe)

My point here is not to talk about both of them but for one simple fact that guys really take a long, long, long looooong time to analyze emotions. The reason is we never really lay down on bed all night just to sort how we feel. We set emotions aside, try to do things as we always do them everyday and let it catch up after a while. A while doesn't mean days or weeks. It's usually in terms of months and even years.

Girls, on the other hand, are born with this intuition. They know exactly what they feel and had no problem confronting themselves about it, let alone talking to other girl friends about it. Guys would find it extermely difficult to deal with this matter. Our best buddies would know our dirtiest secrets but never our innermost feelings.

Let's just pray for her. (Hoy, Aneshka! Nindot nani nga rason para mag-ampo ha? Ayaw na reklamo.)

p.s.
dili lang ta magsaba-saba ani sa "ubang" taw ha?

virtual masseur

2006-03-06T19:21:00.000+08:00

I have a lot to thanks Ella Rose (si masahista number 88) about. One of that is my ym chat less than an hour ago. I sounded like an expert masseur. hehehehe Pwede nako magbutang ug ad sa Sun.Star: Young and handsome hunk. All kinds of massage. Hotel/clinic service 24hrs.

sizzling_284: hi
sizzling_284: kmusta?
ako: okei lang
ako: kaw musta?
sizzling_284: hehehe
ako: bag-o lang ko human kaon
sizzling_284: maayo pka
sizzling_284: ako bgo pko abot
sizzling_284: ok lng me
ako: wala pa diay ka kaon?
sizzling_284: wla pa
sizzling_284: sleepy nko
ako: kaon usa uy
ako: busy diay mo?
ako: dugay lagi ka abot
sizzling_284: yup
sizzling_284: busy kaayo
sizzling_284: mao n
sizzling_284: kpoy n gani ko
ako: mao ba?
ako: looks like u could use a massage
sizzling_284: lgi
sizzling_284: hehehe
sizzling_284: cge e massage ko beh
ako: unsa man imo ganahan?
ako: thai
ako: shiatsu
ako: or special
ako: hehehehe
sizzling_284: special lng ikaw man
sizzling_284: wla n tip ha
sizzling_284: free p gud
ako: way blema na
ako: ikaw na gyud na
sizzling_284: cge
sizzling_284: start n
ako: ako maghubo sa imong sanina or ikaw lang?
sizzling_284: ikaw lng
ako: higda na
ako: unya talikod
sizzling_284: hehehehe
sizzling_284: ok na
sizzling_284: hehehehehe
sizzling_284: k gilok
ako: ako hinay-hinayon ug hubo imo blouse
ako: ipa-ubos ug hinay-hinay ang zipper
sizzling_284: hehehehe
sizzling_284: ikaw gud
ako: unsa imo ganahan lotion or powder?
sizzling_284: ato nlng unya tinud-on beh
sizzling_284: kpoy cge og imagine
ako: hehehe
ako: mao pod
ako: sige sige
sizzling_284: when man?
sizzling_284: og asa sad?
ako: karon weekend!
sizzling_284: sa secret
ako: sa secret gyud
ako: ang-ang asa
sizzling_284: cge cge
sizzling_284: mag sbot ta
sizzling_284: hehehehe
ako: asa man imo ganahan?
sizzling_284: ikaw?
sizzling_284: n lingaw gud ko
sizzling_284: bisan kpoy ko
ako: unsa man imo gikalingawan?
sizzling_284: ikaw
sizzling_284: asa man?
ako: magsabot lang unya ta kung asa nindot
sizzling_284: bitaw
sizzling_284: sakto gud ka
sizzling_284: kung dli nka busy
ako: karon weekend?
ako: dili ka busy ana?
sizzling_284: dli n
sizzling_284: basta inig ka week end ha
ako: lagi
ako: naa man ko number nimo
sizzling_284: okies

torn

2006-03-06T16:23:00.000+08:00

I'm in trouble. I barely have enough money left to last me until the next payday. My eyes are all sores after sleeping very late last night. (Thanks to my brand new 21-inch Sony Wega and PS2.) But a hot chick I met on the internet wants to "eyeball" tonight at SM. WHAT IN THE HEAVENS NAME SHALL I DO?!? I can't concentrate. I was torn between losing an opportunity and losing money. But what's money after all? An opportunity lost can't be covered by paycheck after paycheck (unless if its amount doubles by some kind of divine intervention. alleluhiah!). It can't be postponed coz she'll be leaving to Cagayan for good on Wednesday. Darn!

Pray for me.

television

2006-02-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

I can't contain my excitement. I will spend my whole paycheck tomorrow for a cool 21-inch Sony Wega analog :( television set. Then, I'll get my PS2 at Bogo and will have one hell of a time playing all my games. Yipey!!! I was contemplating on buying an LCD or a plasma screen but my golly! A 17-inch display would cost me 60K++ and I will not be able to fully utilize all its amazing technology. Cable operators in this country are still using analog signals. It will just break my heart (and my pocket as well) to see stretched and grainy signals on the display.

To double my excitement, I have already ordered a Transitions photochromic lens for my glasses. It will be available by next week. Yipey! Yipey! My heart beats like that of a mice.

All I'm thinking right now is to buy the 2nd-hand National personal ref for 4K or just buy a brand new item.

last talk

2006-02-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

Last na gyud ni sa akong mga s.o.p. talks. Honest.

Naa ko sekreto isulti sa inyo. Ayaw lang ninyo isaba sa ubang taw ha? Not unless iya ni makaplagan ako blogsite all by herself/himself. I'm yet to tell you one s.o.p. I had.

All the time I was doing those things, I wasn't really enjoying it that much. I kept on thinking about the face of the person at the other end. Her body. Her hair. Her skin. Does she have bad breath? Does her feet smell? And what about her armpit? All these questions popping here and there would detach me from the pleasure the other end is experiencing. However, if you know the other person then it's easy to concentrate and get things done the right way.

Anyway, naka-decide ko nga dili na lang mopadayon. Ako na lang ni putlon. Hehehehe. Sowwie kaayo ha? Unbearable uwaw man diay akong dangatan kung makabalo mo.

moaning chatter

2006-02-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

I'm not quite finished with this s.o.t., s.o.p. thing yet. So I hope you'll bear with me.

I have met a lot of interesting gals including gal-acting individuals through cross-talk (This is pretty old. I could picture rotary phones when I remember this.), internet chat and most recently, mobile chat. I had 2 cybergfs in college and both were from the same school, Ateneo de Zamboanga University. A year ago, I met this girl from Cagayan in mobile chat and she became my "mobilegf" (err.. that doesn't sound right.) as she claimed to be. I'm such a world-class geek! It was really ridiculous and funny at the same time. I'm just in for the adventure.

It was in mobile chatting that I came to realize that a lot of women out there are in need of affection. Some would sound really hopeless. There was this chatter from Manila who invited me for an s.o.t. and insisted that I'll tell her 'I love you' almost all the time. Maybe that turned her on or she badly needed it emotionally.

There are just as many horny women out there as there are with men. A different chatter from a different city in Manila wanted to have an s.o.t. I played along but I wasn't really in the mood. Having experienced quite a handfull of these events, I became a bit good in the game. I was texting her a lot of kinky things I wanted to do with her, including my newly found Tagalog vocabulary - tinggil (the same as the bisaya term e.g. lalaruin ng dila ko ang tinggil mo), kadyot (push/pump/thrust e.g. bibilisan ko ang pagkadyot sa yo), sagad (sunk deep e.g. bumukaka ka pa para sagad lahat sa puki mo.), tamod (sperm e.g. ibubuhos ko lahat ng tamod ko sa luob ng kiki mo). Then she pleaded. "Shit! Kantutin mo na ako. Hindi ko na matiis. Ipasok mo na, pls". I teased her more and more. "Dahan2x ko ipa2sok ang ulo ng titi ko tapos ila2bas ko agad". But to my surprise she called. Maybe she wanted to talk and knew more about me. Women are usually like that. I was totally speechless when I heard, at the other end of the phone, a woman's voice moaning in pleasure. "Aaaaaaaaaah. Aaaaaaah. Oooooooh." Holy cow! Holy rooster! Holy animals! Is this her way of introduction? I waited for a couple of seconds but she didn't stop. My goodness! I didn't expect this to happen. I tried searching my mind on what's best to do but my brain shrinked into a raisin. I opened my mouth but I can't think of anything sensible to say. I decided to join her ecstatic sing-a-long. "Aaaaah. Aaaah." I shut my mouth after a few seconds. I sounded awful.

It lasted for more than a couple of minutes which seemed like eternity. After her "standing-ovation worthy" climax (Jenna Jameson will surely be green with envy), she hung up without any other words. I laid still on my bed. My breath went faster and faster. My sweaty hands still clutching the phone. I just couldn't believe what happened.

s.o.p. & others

2006-02-21T14:10:00.000+08:00

s.o.t. stands for sex on text while s.o.p. is sex on phone. That's for the naive and the feeling naive people out there. Don't laugh. You know who you are.

My first s.o.p. was after high school. I started to date this certain lady. We didn't have a landline back at home at that time yet so I used to sneak into a semi-private library to use the phone. Luckily, the librarian happened to be a close friend of mine, courtesy of my socio-civic organizations. Then there was this boring Saturday afternoon and I was in the library waiting for my date 3 hours earlier. The librarian asked me to fill her in coz she had an important appointmet and will be back after a couple of hours. There was no one in the library except for myself and I bet nobody in their right mind would dare to visit a library at that hour of the day and at that temperature.

I sat behind the counter and called her (my lady-friend). She was fresh from the bathroom getting ready for our date and only had a towel to cover herself. I was getting horny at the instant. (Raging hormones, I tell you) I started to dirty talk to her while massaging my crotch. Imaginations gone really really wild. I was frantically looking for old newspapers at the shelf behind me to use as a floor cover when all that jism came out. After searching the surroundings and making absolutely sure nobody will ever come, I satisfied myself. (You know what I mean.) On the other line, she had no idea what's going on. All she heard from me was constant teasing and flirting.

s.o.t.

2006-02-20T20:20:00.000+08:00

I logged in to Globe Mobile Chat to make use of my wakefulness at 11 in the evening last Sunday. I met a lot of texters including hot112.

ako: hi there! asl? stats?
hot112: hi! i'm from Iligan. 25f sexy. what's ur #?
ako: howdy! i'm bryan(<--screen name). 26m(<--screen age. hehehe way palag ha?) taga cebu. 0927******* (dili lang nako ibutang ako number kay tingali managhan ako stalkers. hehe)
hot112: hello (using my number. mahal man gud text sa mobile chat, tag 2.50/txt)
ako: halu din. who's this?
hot112: i'm lyka 25f from Iligan
ako: nice name. r u working? hav u bin hir in cebu?
lyka: k tanks. wala me work. yap but 8s only 2 weeks lang. last year
ako: ah ok. so, wat hav u bin doing n Iligan ol dis time? wala pa gyud ko kaanha sa iligan
lyka: (after a couple of minutes silence) what do u want now?
ako: well, 8 depends on wat u can ofer. (with a big grin!)
lyka: sot tayo
ako: cge. nahan ko mofrench kis sa imo lips. isuck imo tongue nya huwap2xon imo lawas
ako: ako dayn ipadagan ako dila sa imo chin hang2d sa imo liog. ako dayn ipa2yok ug kiss imo liog
lyka: shit! lami lagi ka modala
ako: (with improved ego) hinay2xon nako paubos ug kiss imo 2toy. icircle2x nako ako dila sa imo niples. ako dayn hinayon ug bite imo niples. lamia nimo uy!
lyka: share a load sa para maglami ta. 5 na lang blin ako load para dli ta mabtin
ako: ahak uy! gamay na lang pod ako load. next time na lang uy. nyt nyt (Bata pa kaayo ko para mahimong sugar daddy!)

Kamo na lang huna-huna kung nag-unsa ko paghuman. Basta natulog ra gihapon ko in the end.

post-heart

2006-02-15T16:34:00.000+08:00

Valentine's gone at last. The euphoria is finally over. Thank heavens. Traffic was terrible last night. It took us twice the time to reach BTC. I just have to endure half an hour of Mark's agony. I hitched a ride with him so I made sure I sounded like I was in full sympathy with the traffic condition.

Drive-in motels took their share of clogged up traffic. Taxi lines at Jade's Court reached the corner of AS Fortuna! Lovers closely tied together at the backseat were too eager to take their turn of the room. I bet all motels share the same experience. There was a mass frenzy of sex and lust. I wonder how many gallons of sperm were ejaculated last night? I think it would be enough to sink the whole island of Cebu. And there would be enough female secretion to bathe all people in Cebu. As for me, I didn't lose a single sperm last night.

To answer the question thrown at me almost every single friend I met - I didn't have a romantic date yesterday. I don't know what made me decide to skip the opportunity. But I did not entirely skip Valentine's at all, although I was really contemplating about it for about and hour or two. I sent a valentine's text message to all my single lady friends at the stroke of midnight yesterday. I know that some are quite happy to receive something, even if it's cheap and trivial, like that. I could've sent a single rose if I have enough money. Hmmm. Maybe next time, I will collect money from them so I can buy a rose to each of them. That would be an idea. Dinner with Marie, Norman, Auxie, Cleng and Arnold at 10 Dove Street completed my night. Oh wait, actually a call from a friend is what really made my day.

hahaaaay

2006-02-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

A big HAHAAAAY!!! Valentine's day na pod.

I couldn't remember when was the last time I went out on Valentine's Day with a sweetheart. Don't get me wrong. I always went out with a date. A prospect. But it never ended up into something serious. It seemed like a previous lifetime ago since I went out on a date with a girlfriend on Valentine's. This Tuesday is no difference at all. I would prefer staying at home rather than go out to malls and eat my entire heart out seeing all those lovers cuddling and chuckle-ing together. Hahaaaay na pod.

I've got 3 prospects this time. There's Ms. Sizzling, Ms. Js and Ms. La. I haven't met Ms. Sizzling yet but I already saw her via video conference (bless YM!) and became a regular chatmate. Ms. Js and Ms. La are both sexy and stunning. The question now is kinsa man gyud? After careful deliberation, I decided that it would be Ms. La I would be inviting for a Valentine's date. But, but, but kadumdom kos line ni Lany nga gikan pod kang Ella Rose (si masahista number 88), "Never, under any circumstances, touch it if you will not do anything about it."

I wouldn't deny the fact that men generally are afraid to face situations concerning emotions. A joke says, "Men are like mascara, they run out at the first sign of emotion." How very true indeed! I could no longer remember the last time I deliberated with myself whether or not I am ready. I was, and still am, afraid to know. There can only be 2 answers. But I guess, and people who have gone through these kind of things would agree, it's not as simple as having to answer yes or no.

I am afraid to know that I'm not yet ready. But then how the f*ck am I going to know if I'm ready or not if I'll never try and risk in the first place? I am afraid that if I'll go out with somebody, become serious with somebody, she might not be the person I'm looking for. I've been there once and it felt really, really bad breaking up with a girl and seeing her crying her heart out in front of you. I don't want that to happen again.

After giving out everything I have and failing at the end, I found it quite hard to settle. I became a coward. Counting all the worse that might happen even if I'm not there yet. I always love risks but this time around I am, to put it simply, afraid.

shove up and down

2006-01-31T16:17:00.000+08:00

I was lying my back on a flat bench. Legs eagle-spread and bent. Sweat trickled on every corner of my body. I was panting. I shoved up. My face twitched and I felt the weight going down again. I did it again and again until it became a rhythm. Shoved up and down, up and down. I could feel my muscles constrict and expand. It was a good feeling but I knew that sooner my arms would give up. I had to let go. I can't carry it any longer. After a few minutes which seemed like an eternity, my arms trembled. My feet jerked. I'm almost there. I gave it one last shove and let out a grunt. I remained lying on my back while catching my breath. More gush of sweat dripped on every side of my body. I just couldn't believe I did it. I was able to bench press 30 lbs. of pure metal. Yeah, it's not much but it's a big deal for me who, 3 weeks ago, can only do 10 lbs.

Wipe that smirk off your face. hehehehe... Though I wish I was doing that dirty thought you're thinking a few seconds ago. But this post would not indulge on those kind of things.

I tried at some point to exercise. 5 years ago, I remember doing sit-ups. But after counting up to 5 with the greatest of effort, I remained still and went asleep. I never did it again since then. I bought a pair of dumb bells and weights 3 years ago. And all I did with it is to stare at it every morning when I wake up and imagine myself doing the exercise. I was that lazy.

I wouldn't be caught dead going to a gym. This was what I thought at least 2 years ago. But a slow realization that I am not growing any younger changed all that. Weighed with complains of back pains, knee pains, low vigor and a lot more. Roughly 3 months ago, I couldn't keep up with Tisha's grind moves on the dancefloor. My groove would only last an hour! After that I would only be standing and swaying among the crowd. That's horrible, I tell you, considering that during the prime of my teen life, I remembered dancing the whole evening away without even thinking about sitting down.

Then there was this thing about sexual performance. (Okay, I lied. I did talk about sex.) I couldn't do straight sets anymore. After the first round, I would feel really exhausted and would need all my mind power to be able to finish the second set. It used to be a minute of breathing before going to the next round but now it seemed I need at a quarter of an hour before proceeding.

I hope I would do better for the months to come. Wish me luck. teehee