Dear Lady Luck,
I am writing to ask your forgiveness.
Never again will I desecrate your name or put it in the same context with revenge, violence and gore with a flare of repugnance like sticky phlegm-filled yellowish spit. I am so sorry to have offended you. It is not in my pure intent to do so.
Please spare me your retribution. Do not make my toothbrush come to life again, slip out of my hand then do a reverse one and a half somersaults with three twists dive straight to the toilet bowl. I just bought that 6 days ago and I can't afford to change toothbrush every week or I'll go bankrupt. And also, do not make my contact lens storage container do the same diving somersault to the toilet bowl. They are supposed to remain dirt-free so I can store my contact lens without contamination.
I hope you're satisfied to know that I was so freaked out when the whole event happened one after the other. It freaked me out even more that I have to fish them out of the yellowish-brown toilet bowl using my bare hands.
To affirm my resolution, I promise to delete all porn-related materials on my hard disk specially those of dogs and horses doing blonde chiks, and cute brunettes eating fresh feces. But I will keep those of Angelina Jolie's and Brad Pitt's if that's okay with you. I will personally find you a virgin - I have lots of premium membership on adult friend finders - and offer her carcass on your altar to appease your anger.
Forgive your lowly servant.
splat
Friday, October 03, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
a shoe case
Now that I'm done releasing all those pent-up hatred inside me, I'm beginning to think clearly. I really shouldn't blame my misfortune on those people who have no other fun in their miserable lives but to spit on unlikely public places. It might be the only sort of satisfaction they achieve in their lifetime. So I promise to let it be and call off my manslaughter plans until further notice.
After 3 glasses of whiskey, I began to think of what really is the issue here. It's not them. It's me! It seems that I have this sort of cruelty hurled at me by Lady Luck. And I don't even know why I offended her on the first place.
Recounting some events, let me take you 3 or 4 years ago. I had a date. We were to watch a movie on that day. I took my date from the apartment. Going to my date's place was a bit tricky. You know how it is in Phil'pines. I trod earth and grass and what not in order to reach the place.
We were already inside the moviehouse and enjoying each others company. No nasty things happened yet if you know what I mean. *wink* There was that smell I noticed a while back that seemed to get amplified inside the moviehouse. A foul smell. Immediately I thought it was my date having some kind of bad odor. Smelly mouth? Armpit? Body odor? I couldn't really figure out. I slowly leaned towards my date to check if the odor was there. There were no traces of foul smell anywhere. I was so sure it was not me. I mean why would I smell in the first place? I brushed my mouth thrice and almost emptied a bottle of mouthwash just for that day then spayed perfume all over my body.
That's when I began to suspect something. I raised my date's attention and we searched our chair for any traces of foul smelling object nearby. Then I told my date to look at the shoes. My date objected but I demanded that she might've stepped into something. Nothing's there. Then I checked my shoes. Pak! Pak! Pak! It's syet! I stepped syet on my way to my date's apartment! How cruel is that? To think that I bought my shoes a month or so ago! I was so ashamed but managed to pull my act together. I tossed the smelly shoe on the side and we continued to watch the movie amid all the ridicules my date threw at me.
To further convince you that Lady Luck has a vendetta against me, let us go a bit further, one month since that shameful event happened. I went to work one day wearing the same pair of shoes. On my way to the company's gate I noticed something - a brown smudge on my shoes! Oh no! Not again! Further inspection using sense of smell revealed that, yes, it was syet! Deja vu. Pakin deja vu!
I leave it at those instances because if I have to narrate each and everyone of those unfortunate events I might've created a book.
Monday, September 29, 2008
senseless
I can't work. My brain just won't let me. Who in their sane mind would have the mojo to work on a Monday knowing that Tuesday and Wednesday are non-working days?
That is why I'm blogging like crazy. I even have one post-dated entry. Pshew! I've got piles and piles of workloads to do but my brain went off-mode. I don't even know what a CAN bus is or a Lundell machine or a 3-phase generating voltage and shit like these.
I want to go home and do senseless stuff like, I dunno.... watch porn maybe or play Mario or download Avatar? I want to be anywhere but here. While writing my previous entry, I was reminded to buy another pair of shoes for the office. My old one is already washed out. I've got a long list of things to buy - 26-in Bravia, Quad Core Q9xxx series CPU, a compact laptop, a digicam 'coz as you already knew I left my old one back at home, iPhone, 16GB flash drive and so on and so forth. So many things to buy, so little budget left. *sigh*
Why is the clock ticking so slow? I wish I have Hiro Nakamura's time-bending power so I can just freeze time and do absolutely anything I want. But you know me, I don't want any complications in my life and get entangled with crazy maniacs like Sylar or creepy black men like The Haitian so I might pass the opportunity if ever it comes along. Wait. Maybe I'll rob a bank first then bang Angelina Jolie before giving up my superpower.
Why am I babbling senseless shit?
massacre
I want to let out my frustration so please bear with me. The following paragraphs are not intended for the weak of heart.
Who likes to own a cool Kel-Tec PF-9, 9mm caliber recoil operated locked breech double action only single column magazine semi-automatic pistol with 30 pieces spare of pre-loaded magazines? Or how about a high power FN P90 submachine gun. Even cooler is the 7.62mm GAU-gatling gun. Who likes to own any of these? Raise your right hand so I can tally you in...... Done. If you own any handgun or any weapon of assault raise your left hand...... Good.
Okay. Now that I got the numbers let me laid out the plan. At exactly, 1533 hours this Wednesday, 1.October.2008, we will meet at an undisclosed address. Details will be emailed via secure server with 1024-bit encryption algorithm. A mini-biometrics scanner will be sent to your home address at 1900 hours tonight. It will do a retina scan and voice verification. After a successful authentication, it will display the decryption password for 3 seconds then will self-destruct. You will use this password to view the email.
Target will be specified in that email. Spare no one. Bigger bonus will be given to those who can shoot 'em between the eyes. If you happen to catch anybody within the building premise doing that disgusting spitting, I want you to cut his tongue first then make him drink a bottle of vinegar. After 10 minutes, shoot him between the eyes. If you catch him on the 10th floor or higher, took off all his clothes then drop him down head first. I don't want the clothes to give him any sort of cushion when he lands on the pavement, skull and bones broken with bits of flesh scattered around on a pool of blood.
You see, all I really wanted is to free the world with all those disgusting public spitters as much as I want to free Phil'pines with all those corrupt public officials. You already know the answer. It is next to impossible. That is why I'm taking this to the next level. If there's nobody out there who can do anything about this, even those so-called Elders of the World, then I will gladly step up to the challenge. Why, you ask?
It all started on a peaceful Saturday afternoon. I got hungry and called my other apartment mates to go downstairs and buy lunch. We gleefully chatted inside the elevator. The door opened on the first floor and we headed out. Just as I took my first step, I felt some sort of liquid substance touching on my feet. It couldn't be possible, I thought. Why would it rain inside the elevator? Then I inspect the sole of my left foot. Lo and behold, a sticky, phlegm-filled, yellowish spit was glued between my sole and slippers!!!!! I was disgusted beyond words but since I'm hungry as a wolf and because my motto is to fill my stomach first before anything else, I never thought much about it until after lunch. That is when I planned this whole man-slaughter thing.
After killing all targets in the building, I will pile up the corpse, stand on top, bathe with their blood and let out a Joker-kind of laugh. Maybe I'll skip the bathing part. I'm afraid there would be traces of melamine on their hemoglobin and would get me all sick for the rest of the week.
I've gone through my plans and it's perfect. All that's left to do is to draw that war paint. Let the massacre begin!!!!
Who likes to own a cool Kel-Tec PF-9, 9mm caliber recoil operated locked breech double action only single column magazine semi-automatic pistol with 30 pieces spare of pre-loaded magazines? Or how about a high power FN P90 submachine gun. Even cooler is the 7.62mm GAU-gatling gun. Who likes to own any of these? Raise your right hand so I can tally you in...... Done. If you own any handgun or any weapon of assault raise your left hand...... Good.
Okay. Now that I got the numbers let me laid out the plan. At exactly, 1533 hours this Wednesday, 1.October.2008, we will meet at an undisclosed address. Details will be emailed via secure server with 1024-bit encryption algorithm. A mini-biometrics scanner will be sent to your home address at 1900 hours tonight. It will do a retina scan and voice verification. After a successful authentication, it will display the decryption password for 3 seconds then will self-destruct. You will use this password to view the email.
Target will be specified in that email. Spare no one. Bigger bonus will be given to those who can shoot 'em between the eyes. If you happen to catch anybody within the building premise doing that disgusting spitting, I want you to cut his tongue first then make him drink a bottle of vinegar. After 10 minutes, shoot him between the eyes. If you catch him on the 10th floor or higher, took off all his clothes then drop him down head first. I don't want the clothes to give him any sort of cushion when he lands on the pavement, skull and bones broken with bits of flesh scattered around on a pool of blood.
You see, all I really wanted is to free the world with all those disgusting public spitters as much as I want to free Phil'pines with all those corrupt public officials. You already know the answer. It is next to impossible. That is why I'm taking this to the next level. If there's nobody out there who can do anything about this, even those so-called Elders of the World, then I will gladly step up to the challenge. Why, you ask?
It all started on a peaceful Saturday afternoon. I got hungry and called my other apartment mates to go downstairs and buy lunch. We gleefully chatted inside the elevator. The door opened on the first floor and we headed out. Just as I took my first step, I felt some sort of liquid substance touching on my feet. It couldn't be possible, I thought. Why would it rain inside the elevator? Then I inspect the sole of my left foot. Lo and behold, a sticky, phlegm-filled, yellowish spit was glued between my sole and slippers!!!!! I was disgusted beyond words but since I'm hungry as a wolf and because my motto is to fill my stomach first before anything else, I never thought much about it until after lunch. That is when I planned this whole man-slaughter thing.
After killing all targets in the building, I will pile up the corpse, stand on top, bathe with their blood and let out a Joker-kind of laugh. Maybe I'll skip the bathing part. I'm afraid there would be traces of melamine on their hemoglobin and would get me all sick for the rest of the week.
I've gone through my plans and it's perfect. All that's left to do is to draw that war paint. Let the massacre begin!!!!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
bitchin' on a birthday
You know bitchin', right? It's that white powdery thing you put on your dish to make it taste better. It's the same white powdery thing you excessively mix with dog food and feed on the next door noisy *askal that wakes the entire neighborhood up everytime you went home very late from a drinking spree (or a sex spree in some cases). The next day you'll find its carcass lying cold on the street with saliva bubbles on its mouth then say your pretentious regret to the sad owner. "He was a very protective dog. Always there for me when I went home late."
Sometimes bitchin' is called with its equally famous Japanese competitor. Got the pun? If you're still not amused at this point chances are you're an imbecile so better click that 'X' tab on the upper right hand of this window and leave me in peace. Or maybe I'm just a lousy joker. Whatever. This whole punch line just came to my head when I wrote the title and I felt corny(h, interchangeable) today so there yah go. Anyway.....
Work is such a bitch. And nothing's bitcher than waking up very early to attend an early morning training. I've been away from blogosphere due to some work maniacs shoving workloads up my ass every now and then. Then there are those training that start on ungodly hours. Imagine working 12-15 hours a day for the past couple of weeks or so!!!!! Imagine waking up at 6:30 in the morning so you'll be in the training room before 8!!!!! Imagine your senior assigning you some tasks then the project leader called you for another tasks then your manager explained to you some more additional paperworks that you need to do!!!! Imagine that!!!! However, it pays the bills you know so I might as well quit yapping and comply.
Used to be, I love my work very deeply. If she'd been a girl, I would've revered her from her hair strands all the way to her toe nails. Used to be, my ideal job is a disc jock on a famous NYC club. Used to be, I work hard so I can drown myself with weng-wengs, long islands, flaming ferraris, etc. on weekends and travel on nearby islands in the country.
Nowadays, my ideal job is to be part of a travel show crew. Nowadays, I work so I can pay expensive airplane tickets for a vacation to other countries then drown myself with weng-wengs, long islands, flaming ferraris, etc. Nowadays, my brain's too occupied about travel plans. Thailand next month. Hong Kong and Macau on December. Europe or US or NZ next year. Sigh!
Before I while you any further into this useless self-dilusion, let me greet a very good friend and a once special friend a happy happy birthday. Good wishes, hugs and kisses to you. See you soooooon.
I was tempted to put something nice here. A dozen flower perhaps or Ferrero Rocher or a cake. But I saw Wall-E last weekend and for some unknown reason I found him extra-extra adorable, cute even. I wanted to wrap him and send over as a birthday gift but I can't do that. So I'll just post him here instead.
*askal - short for asong kalye. Filipino term for stray dogs or dogs without refined breeding.
Sometimes bitchin' is called with its equally famous Japanese competitor. Got the pun? If you're still not amused at this point chances are you're an imbecile so better click that 'X' tab on the upper right hand of this window and leave me in peace. Or maybe I'm just a lousy joker. Whatever. This whole punch line just came to my head when I wrote the title and I felt corny(h, interchangeable) today so there yah go. Anyway.....
Work is such a bitch. And nothing's bitcher than waking up very early to attend an early morning training. I've been away from blogosphere due to some work maniacs shoving workloads up my ass every now and then. Then there are those training that start on ungodly hours. Imagine working 12-15 hours a day for the past couple of weeks or so!!!!! Imagine waking up at 6:30 in the morning so you'll be in the training room before 8!!!!! Imagine your senior assigning you some tasks then the project leader called you for another tasks then your manager explained to you some more additional paperworks that you need to do!!!! Imagine that!!!! However, it pays the bills you know so I might as well quit yapping and comply.
Used to be, I love my work very deeply. If she'd been a girl, I would've revered her from her hair strands all the way to her toe nails. Used to be, my ideal job is a disc jock on a famous NYC club. Used to be, I work hard so I can drown myself with weng-wengs, long islands, flaming ferraris, etc. on weekends and travel on nearby islands in the country.
Nowadays, my ideal job is to be part of a travel show crew. Nowadays, I work so I can pay expensive airplane tickets for a vacation to other countries then drown myself with weng-wengs, long islands, flaming ferraris, etc. Nowadays, my brain's too occupied about travel plans. Thailand next month. Hong Kong and Macau on December. Europe or US or NZ next year. Sigh!
Before I while you any further into this useless self-dilusion, let me greet a very good friend and a once special friend a happy happy birthday. Good wishes, hugs and kisses to you. See you soooooon.
I was tempted to put something nice here. A dozen flower perhaps or Ferrero Rocher or a cake. But I saw Wall-E last weekend and for some unknown reason I found him extra-extra adorable, cute even. I wanted to wrap him and send over as a birthday gift but I can't do that. So I'll just post him here instead.
*askal - short for asong kalye. Filipino term for stray dogs or dogs without refined breeding.
Monday, September 08, 2008
birthday
THANK.......
YOU.......
AND
THANK.......
YOU.......
"...a three-fold utopian dream..."
Brandon Boyd couldn't say it any better.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
inasal
Grace and Elton, her husband, came back from a weeklong vacation on dear ol Phil'pines. And lookei what she got for me!!!!
One pound of pure unadulterated inasal meat!!!! CNT Lechon all the way from its Guadalupe Branch!!!! She invited me for dinner yesterday and gave me this for my doggie bag. Slurp!! Slurp!! While munching it bite by bite it seemed like I died and went to heaven. It's like orgasm, only better. I never thought I would miss inasal this much.
It made my mouth water just by typing this. So, you'll have to excuse me while I go and savor my piece of heaven.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
greatest
I never see this one coming. Rodman? Best athlete ever coached by Phil Jackson? Read here.
I never like basketball but during Michael's heyday I got to watch a few games with the Bulls. Rodman, with all the colors of his hair matched with that crazy attitude and lifestyle, just striked me odd. But cool. Specially, he's dating that hot vixen, Carmen Electra, at the time.
Unlike tennis, I never ran down basketball game statistics so I leave it to y'all NBA fans out there to decide.
I never like basketball but during Michael's heyday I got to watch a few games with the Bulls. Rodman, with all the colors of his hair matched with that crazy attitude and lifestyle, just striked me odd. But cool. Specially, he's dating that hot vixen, Carmen Electra, at the time.
Unlike tennis, I never ran down basketball game statistics so I leave it to y'all NBA fans out there to decide.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
speech
Have you, guys, seen, heard or read Michelle Obama's speech Monday at the opening of the Democratic National Convention? Wasn't it amazing? It was that awesome I could jack myself off to orgasm (and maybe cry at the same time) while listening to it. Seriously. I wouldn't really call it perfect though with a few over-gushy lines but damn she got into me. Almost moved me to tears.
(photo courtesy of The Wall Street Journal)
Now, I envy Barack for finding such a fine woman. I could imagine countless nights of intellectual ejaculation with her. Did I tell you I'm a sucker for dark-skinned women?
Check out this link for her complete speech.
I hope those Hillary fanatics would calm down and vote for this girl's man. Come to think of it. I'm not even a Democrat or a US citizen for that matter.
Note: Barack Obama or any of his supporters did not pay nor give me any financial or sexual favors for this post.
Monday, August 25, 2008
2012
Watching the Beijing Olympics closing ceremony made me decide that I should be in London for the 2012 Games. I quickly made a mental note to make it as the first on my list of to do things for the next 4 years. Wanna come?
(picture courtesy of getty images from Yahoo! Sports)
On a related note, I read this article over the weekend and made me regret why I didn't become an olympian.
For those, who are feeling lazy to browse through, let me give you a synopsis. It's about the world's top athletes in the Olympic village having naturally higher levels of testosterone, which leads to volcanic release of pent-up hedonism. Basically, athletes banging each other and you don't even need to have a medal to participate. I know you want more so go ahead and read.
Note: This is not a paid ad.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
kunt
I am fuming with anger!!!! My face is red as hell and smoke is coming out from my nostrils and ear holes. I'm about to burst. I want to scream my lungs out then set my desk on fire and watch it burn to ashes. After that I'm going to bitchslap somebody all the way to the stratosphere. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Before I do further damage, I quickly went to my mp3 list and played this in full volume. I'll let the song do the cursing for me. I'm even too furious to thank Jon Davis for writing this.
***** begin song *****
Kunt
Fuck you titty suckin' two ball bitch with a fat bruised clit
My dick cornholio bitch oh shit fucking ass licking piss sucking cunt
Deez nuts on your lips Kentucky Fried Kung-Pao Clits
I don't know what to say
So what, I don't give a fuck, ya know
I don't know what to say
So what
Saggy tits swinging between your fat crusty arm pits big ass hairy mole
Between your pussy lips cunt shit cock dick cunt tit barf piss balls ass
Pecker quief oh shit fucked bitch damn fucking diarrea sluts, with dicks
I don't know what to say
So what, I don't give a fuck, ya know
I don't know what to say
So what
I have vowed to find stuff to say
But now I've found something to say
Fuck you, Punk ass Bitch
Fuck you, Punk ass Bitch
I don't know what to say
So what, I don't give a fuck, ya know
I don't know what to say
So what
Cunt!
Fuck!
Shit!
Bitch!
***** end song *****
Whew! That relieved me a little. Okay. Back to work.
Friday, August 01, 2008
me lazy and britney
I'm too lazy to do anything. Heck, I'm even too lazy to think, it might damage my brain.
Honestly, I'm just a lazy person. I need some kind of an external stimuli to keep me going. For example, a lady friend would be staying in my room tonight so it has to be sparkling clean. In an instant, that would throw me in a fit of cleaning-frenzy like an obsessive-compulsive jerk. Cleaning even the cracks on my bedroom wall.
Right now, it's not going to happen so I'm in this state. I remember it took me around 3 years before deciding to update my lousy blog theme. Up til now, I still got the same boring theme on my friendster. To think that I've been a member since like 5 years ago when Britney was too adorable on the Disney Channel to be labeled as a bitch.
I like Britney. I think she's spontaneous and interesting. People don't understand her coz they're not as rich and famous and talented and thoughtful as she is. I mean who will give free pussy pics all over the internet when you have to pay loads of money to view a damn porn site except that cute girl though from the sickingly famous High School Musical.
My guess is that she's some kind of a philantrophist, always giving to the needy. Who cares about Gates and that Warren stay-away-from-credit-cards Buffet. You would probably if you happen to be a recipient of that billion-dollar charity program. But if you're from Philippines, chances are you're not. Even if you are, the benefits were surely enjoyed by those sons-or-daughters-of-a-bitch politicians. So I'll stick with Britney.
Aside from Paris, she's responsible for giving media its high ratings. They painted her with names and such but hey they never paid her a single cent for adding those nasty adjectives beside her name. The tabloids are selling like hotcakes and showbiz blog hits are rolling mad like twister. It's all because of her.
Can't wait for her next stunt specially if it's a flash of that pink va-jay-jay.
Honestly, I'm just a lazy person. I need some kind of an external stimuli to keep me going. For example, a lady friend would be staying in my room tonight so it has to be sparkling clean. In an instant, that would throw me in a fit of cleaning-frenzy like an obsessive-compulsive jerk. Cleaning even the cracks on my bedroom wall.
Right now, it's not going to happen so I'm in this state. I remember it took me around 3 years before deciding to update my lousy blog theme. Up til now, I still got the same boring theme on my friendster. To think that I've been a member since like 5 years ago when Britney was too adorable on the Disney Channel to be labeled as a bitch.
I like Britney. I think she's spontaneous and interesting. People don't understand her coz they're not as rich and famous and talented and thoughtful as she is. I mean who will give free pussy pics all over the internet when you have to pay loads of money to view a damn porn site except that cute girl though from the sickingly famous High School Musical.
My guess is that she's some kind of a philantrophist, always giving to the needy. Who cares about Gates and that Warren stay-away-from-credit-cards Buffet. You would probably if you happen to be a recipient of that billion-dollar charity program. But if you're from Philippines, chances are you're not. Even if you are, the benefits were surely enjoyed by those sons-or-daughters-of-a-bitch politicians. So I'll stick with Britney.
Aside from Paris, she's responsible for giving media its high ratings. They painted her with names and such but hey they never paid her a single cent for adding those nasty adjectives beside her name. The tabloids are selling like hotcakes and showbiz blog hits are rolling mad like twister. It's all because of her.
Can't wait for her next stunt specially if it's a flash of that pink va-jay-jay.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
10 things to know about me
01. I was once a drug addict, failed a class in college and dropped out of the scholarship because of this.
02. I'm a collector. Now, I have around 2 dozens of mcfarlane action figures, 2 dozens of 1:16 diecast cars, more than a dozen of 1:16 die cast motorcycles, 1 set (8 pieces) fighter planes, helicopters, jet skis and most recently, transformers.
03. I applied a credit card and maxed it out in a single transaction because I bought a very expensive watch for a girl. It took me 2 years to pay it off.
04. I'm taking vitamin C (for boosting my immune system), multivatimins with ginseng (to maintain and enhance my libido), and glutathione (for anti-ageing) for almost a year now
because I'm afraid of getting old.
05. I like to lick vaginas. The pungent smell turns me on.
06. I was contemplating of having a cock ring but news about some men getting infection scared me to death.
07. For countless times, I jacked off inside an internet cafe watching some dirty porn movies. Each station is in a cubicle.
08. I once thought it would be very cool to see a person die on a road accident.
09. One of my perversions is to french kiss a girl while riding on the back of a motorcycle. Of course, there's a 3rd party driver. I did this twice already.
10. I watched a couple of dogs making out on the street and for a minute it turned on. But I swear it only happened once.
02. I'm a collector. Now, I have around 2 dozens of mcfarlane action figures, 2 dozens of 1:16 diecast cars, more than a dozen of 1:16 die cast motorcycles, 1 set (8 pieces) fighter planes, helicopters, jet skis and most recently, transformers.
03. I applied a credit card and maxed it out in a single transaction because I bought a very expensive watch for a girl. It took me 2 years to pay it off.
04. I'm taking vitamin C (for boosting my immune system), multivatimins with ginseng (to maintain and enhance my libido), and glutathione (for anti-ageing) for almost a year now
because I'm afraid of getting old.
05. I like to lick vaginas. The pungent smell turns me on.
06. I was contemplating of having a cock ring but news about some men getting infection scared me to death.
07. For countless times, I jacked off inside an internet cafe watching some dirty porn movies. Each station is in a cubicle.
08. I once thought it would be very cool to see a person die on a road accident.
09. One of my perversions is to french kiss a girl while riding on the back of a motorcycle. Of course, there's a 3rd party driver. I did this twice already.
10. I watched a couple of dogs making out on the street and for a minute it turned on. But I swear it only happened once.
Friday, July 18, 2008
holy shit
A few more hours and I will die of some kind of lung disease. Shitty lungs? Asphyxia due to breathing in too much shit? Internal hemmorage due to some contaminated (shitty) oxygen intake or whatever fucking medical term the doctor would call it.
You see, the guy seated beside me in my test bench in our laboratory smells like shit. The first time I went near him to show how his setup works I thought it was just his shirt giving a foul odor. But after an hour, the stinking odor found its way through my test area. I give a quick look at his shoes and there it was. That familiar brown smudge!!! I know it's dry shit. What the fuck!!! Doesn't he notice the disgusting smell?
I contemplated the best way to tell him. "Holy shit!!! Is that it?!?" Or maybe, "Do you smell shit or is it just me?". Perhaps this one, "What's that brown smear on you shoes?". Simple and direct one would be, "Man, I think that's shit on your shoes." *sigh* If he had been a Bisdak, I would never mind saying to his face, "KABAHO ba nimong tae uy!!! Panrapo adtos kasilyas uy!!!"
I'm starting to get a headache. I can't stand this. I'm going to die.
You see, the guy seated beside me in my test bench in our laboratory smells like shit. The first time I went near him to show how his setup works I thought it was just his shirt giving a foul odor. But after an hour, the stinking odor found its way through my test area. I give a quick look at his shoes and there it was. That familiar brown smudge!!! I know it's dry shit. What the fuck!!! Doesn't he notice the disgusting smell?
I contemplated the best way to tell him. "Holy shit!!! Is that it?!?" Or maybe, "Do you smell shit or is it just me?". Perhaps this one, "What's that brown smear on you shoes?". Simple and direct one would be, "Man, I think that's shit on your shoes." *sigh* If he had been a Bisdak, I would never mind saying to his face, "KABAHO ba nimong tae uy!!! Panrapo adtos kasilyas uy!!!"
I'm starting to get a headache. I can't stand this. I'm going to die.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
kanta
Naglakaw ko padung sa kanto sa dihang mingkalit ug syagit ang trumpa mga napulo ka lakang gikan sa ako. Naay kasaulogan gibuhat sa plasa. Mingtukar ang kanta nga ininsik. Wala ko kasabot sa mga pulong. Pero pipila ka segundo, nahimong pamilyar ang tukar. Nagsige ko huna-huna kung asa nako siya nabati-an. Kabalo ko nga sikat ni siya nga kanta pero nakutaw ang akong utok ug huna-huna kung unsa to ang Iningles ani nga kanta. Sa pipila ka minuto, mingkalit ug bagting sa akong alimpatakan. Inatay!!! Ininsik man diay ron sa Dayang-Dayang!!!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
training
I'm in a three-hour training (yawn!) and is planning to write something so I can stay awake the whole period. Who wants to listen to something like safety standards anyway? But it's still 8:30 in the morning and it seemed my brain hasn't woken up yet. I can't think of anything interesting to talk about. It goes to show that I'm dumber in the morning... zzzzzzzzzz............
Huh!! What?!? Damn trainor! Calling my name and asking me questions while I'm trying to sleep here. I hate people who ask rhetorical questions but then expect an answer. We get the point!! Okay? I'll just shake my head and smile. That should save my ass.
:
:
:
A couple of hours more to go and it will be over....
.... KCDS - Key Characteristics Designation System....
Don't mind my writing here. I wanted to scribble so I won't close my eyes. Product engineering... Product engineering... Damn! I'm a development engineer. There's a whale of difference between the two. I can't directly relate to the example and terms.
Yehey!!! Video time!!!
Dr. Edwards Deming... I'll check this guy out on the internet.
Back to lecture.
"It doesn't works... want to reports... ask you a questions... when we says... safe to used... you meets requirements... period of one years... viscosity but he reads it 'virousity'... is very much similars... did not tells you... Here, they identifies... page 43 of that documents... 5 minutes periods..."
"If no questions, then I'll let you all go. But don't forget to sign the attendance." At last!!!!
Huh!! What?!? Damn trainor! Calling my name and asking me questions while I'm trying to sleep here. I hate people who ask rhetorical questions but then expect an answer. We get the point!! Okay? I'll just shake my head and smile. That should save my ass.
:
:
:
A couple of hours more to go and it will be over....
.... KCDS - Key Characteristics Designation System....
Don't mind my writing here. I wanted to scribble so I won't close my eyes. Product engineering... Product engineering... Damn! I'm a development engineer. There's a whale of difference between the two. I can't directly relate to the example and terms.
Yehey!!! Video time!!!
Dr. Edwards Deming... I'll check this guy out on the internet.
Back to lecture.
"It doesn't works... want to reports... ask you a questions... when we says... safe to used... you meets requirements... period of one years... viscosity but he reads it 'virousity'... is very much similars... did not tells you... Here, they identifies... page 43 of that documents... 5 minutes periods..."
"If no questions, then I'll let you all go. But don't forget to sign the attendance." At last!!!!
Friday, June 27, 2008
atis
Tell me. Who would buy a 5-dollar atis (sugar-apple, as known internationally)? Maybe someone who has lots of money and simply wants to eat one. Or maybe someone who considers atis as the most delicious fruit ever that has grown on earth. Or maybe someone who considers eating atis as to having sex - it takes him to another dimension. I hardly fit on the first description. But the last two would more or less describe my craving for this fruit. I can certainly finish a cartoon-full of this groovy sugar-filled delight in one day even if my tonsils would cry out for help for sweetness sake. And even if I know for sure that the next day my tonsils would grow twice its size making me really sick and have to pay bucketfull of money for expensive antibiotics.
And there I was, inside the grocery store, standing in front of the basket where huge atis are neatly stacked on top of each other, forming a pyramid. To buy or not to buy? That is the question. Damn! These fruits grow everywhere from where I came. Here it's priced almost 200 pesos a piece!!! I contemplated for a minute. As I am only human and therefore weak, I quickly picked one and headed straight to the counter before raising any doubt.
So, it all leads me now at my table writing this entry while happily savoring every pulp of sweetness from my 5-dollar atis. And just like sex, I'm in heaven.
P.S.
Please bear with my pic. I don't have any kick-ass DSLR yet or even a decent point-and-shoot for that matter.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
say what?
I have these funny experiences that I just have to write here or risk losing it with dementia.
I was waiting for my items at Rose Pharmacy in SM Cebu when a girl stood beside me and asked the sales lady, "Naa moy temperature?". To which the sales lady politely replied, "Thermometer imo ganahan paliton?".
In a profile of a famous picture sharing website, a boy posted a queston about a sexy photo of a pretty girl, "Are you a model, aren't you?".
Two of my friends and I were talking about our common friend and her excapades in a far away country. It was a serious discussion until my other friend tried to defend her and said, "Dili pod ta mo-judge diretso uy. Let's look at the sides of the two coins.".
Friday, June 13, 2008
things to know - childhood and early teens
We have the culminating event for our Excellence Week today. I'm assigned to man the booth for the grave yard session: 9PM - 12AM!!!! I don't feel like working now so I compiled these.
20 Things to Know About Me.
01. Although, I have lots of playmates during early childhood, there are times that I wanted to play all by myself.
02. I'm a music fanatic. My grandpa had this huge collection of vinyl albums stored in boxes. When i was 5, I would pull out grandpa's monophone on a table and those boxes of vinyl albums, sit in front and enjoy listening to those classics - local and foreign artists alike.
03. When I was 7, my sister convinced me to collect stationeries. Not knowing what they're for, I collected a lot until my next door neighbor stole everything away.
04. I'm a big tennis fan since I was 7. There's a tennis court a minute away from my house. Sadly, my mom can't afford to buy me a racket and would not allow me to 'ballboy'. I still wanted to learn right now but can't summon much energy to go to a tennis court and lift a racket.
05. I'm a nature lover. I've known that since I was 8. I felt very guilty cutting down tree branches for our games.
06. When I was 8, I got my first watch as a birthday gift from my godfather. I became a "watch lover" since then but don't have money to buy and collect.
07. When I was 9, I once saw an evil spirit or more like an ugly spirit walking beside me.
08. I'm a collector. When I was 9, I have a huge collection of local comics, mostly horror and comedy. But friends and neighbors borrowed and lost most of it.
09. Aside from rubber bands, marbles and cigarette packs, I also started collecting stickers since I was 8. I would put those stickers at the back of my notebooks and at the end of the school year, cut out and kept the covers. I continued this until 5th grade. Until now, I still have those stickers.
10. I also have a few collections of trump cards since I was 9. And yes, I still have those collections with me.
11. I get easily addicted to anything - computer games, video games, manga, anime, tv shows, books, photography, etc. One time when I was 9, Mom asked me for an errand for her dish. Well after lunch time, I still didn't return. Mom had to pick me up at the video game arcade and spank the hell out of me after.
12. I kept a box full of memories. During elementary and high school years, we usually have those silly retreats and some activites would require us to give something to a person. I kept what I received and have it with me til now.
13. At 12, I wanted to know social sciences. Before elementary graduation, I sneaked out a book from the library and never returned it. The book is all about human behaviour. Unfortunately, I only finished chapter 1.
14. Before going to high school, I memorized how to pray the rosary. I was afraid the nuns wouldn't let me enroll if I don't know how to pray.
15. I became a devout catholic the whole high school period. Mostly because, I studied in a catholic school.
16. After high school, I wanted to know more about religion and started reading about Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, etc.
17. I first saw MTV when I was 14 and immediately became a big fan. I would waste hours and hours sitting in front of the boob-tube and watching those videos.
18. At 16, I saw Rage Against The Machine on MTV and became a metal lover since then.
19. I once like local movies but after high school, I found them to be a waste of time.
20. I received 13 medals during high school graduation. Half for the academe and the other half for extra-curricular activities. I was student council president and an SK chairman at the same time.
20 Things to Know About Me.
01. Although, I have lots of playmates during early childhood, there are times that I wanted to play all by myself.
02. I'm a music fanatic. My grandpa had this huge collection of vinyl albums stored in boxes. When i was 5, I would pull out grandpa's monophone on a table and those boxes of vinyl albums, sit in front and enjoy listening to those classics - local and foreign artists alike.
03. When I was 7, my sister convinced me to collect stationeries. Not knowing what they're for, I collected a lot until my next door neighbor stole everything away.
04. I'm a big tennis fan since I was 7. There's a tennis court a minute away from my house. Sadly, my mom can't afford to buy me a racket and would not allow me to 'ballboy'. I still wanted to learn right now but can't summon much energy to go to a tennis court and lift a racket.
05. I'm a nature lover. I've known that since I was 8. I felt very guilty cutting down tree branches for our games.
06. When I was 8, I got my first watch as a birthday gift from my godfather. I became a "watch lover" since then but don't have money to buy and collect.
07. When I was 9, I once saw an evil spirit or more like an ugly spirit walking beside me.
08. I'm a collector. When I was 9, I have a huge collection of local comics, mostly horror and comedy. But friends and neighbors borrowed and lost most of it.
09. Aside from rubber bands, marbles and cigarette packs, I also started collecting stickers since I was 8. I would put those stickers at the back of my notebooks and at the end of the school year, cut out and kept the covers. I continued this until 5th grade. Until now, I still have those stickers.
10. I also have a few collections of trump cards since I was 9. And yes, I still have those collections with me.
11. I get easily addicted to anything - computer games, video games, manga, anime, tv shows, books, photography, etc. One time when I was 9, Mom asked me for an errand for her dish. Well after lunch time, I still didn't return. Mom had to pick me up at the video game arcade and spank the hell out of me after.
12. I kept a box full of memories. During elementary and high school years, we usually have those silly retreats and some activites would require us to give something to a person. I kept what I received and have it with me til now.
13. At 12, I wanted to know social sciences. Before elementary graduation, I sneaked out a book from the library and never returned it. The book is all about human behaviour. Unfortunately, I only finished chapter 1.
14. Before going to high school, I memorized how to pray the rosary. I was afraid the nuns wouldn't let me enroll if I don't know how to pray.
15. I became a devout catholic the whole high school period. Mostly because, I studied in a catholic school.
16. After high school, I wanted to know more about religion and started reading about Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, etc.
17. I first saw MTV when I was 14 and immediately became a big fan. I would waste hours and hours sitting in front of the boob-tube and watching those videos.
18. At 16, I saw Rage Against The Machine on MTV and became a metal lover since then.
19. I once like local movies but after high school, I found them to be a waste of time.
20. I received 13 medals during high school graduation. Half for the academe and the other half for extra-curricular activities. I was student council president and an SK chairman at the same time.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
leaving
I know I have to go but it's like I don't wanna leave. Family, friends, love one/s, travels with friends and love one/s, and all the comforts Cebu has offered me - these all came playing on my mind as I stroll my luggage towards the airport check-in counter. But unlike Hollywood movies, I stepped into the plane without somebody shouting from behind to have my plane stopped, while struggling with security guards professed her undying love to me. No. This is real life though it didn't stop me to pause and look behind just to see if somebody familiar was there. But all I see are faces of strangers minding their own businesss and minding others as well. This is it.
I've been away from the country a few times but the feeling of going away for good is different. All of those trips I was excited to leave but this time I feel sad. Sad and anxious at the same time.
Geez! I never expected I can be this deep.
I've always known that I'll be leaving Cebu this year. I've known that since last year. On the last quarter of 2007, opportunities started to come in - USA, Europe and Asia. Obviously, opportunities in Asia were last on my list. I'm almost certain I'll go to Europe. I passed all the interviews. Then, the long wait. For more than 2 months, I didn't hear any word from them. 1st quarter of this year, I was invited to come to this country for the interview. All expenses paid. That was my first time to visit here and there's something in the place that intrigued me.
It's been more than a month since I left Cebu and all I can say is "okei-lah".
I've been away from the country a few times but the feeling of going away for good is different. All of those trips I was excited to leave but this time I feel sad. Sad and anxious at the same time.
Geez! I never expected I can be this deep.
I've always known that I'll be leaving Cebu this year. I've known that since last year. On the last quarter of 2007, opportunities started to come in - USA, Europe and Asia. Obviously, opportunities in Asia were last on my list. I'm almost certain I'll go to Europe. I passed all the interviews. Then, the long wait. For more than 2 months, I didn't hear any word from them. 1st quarter of this year, I was invited to come to this country for the interview. All expenses paid. That was my first time to visit here and there's something in the place that intrigued me.
It's been more than a month since I left Cebu and all I can say is "okei-lah".
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