no shit!

I am feeling shitty today, figuratively and literally. 4 consecutive days of pigging out has now started to claim its prize. The Camotes adventure last Saturday and Sunday - where all 7 of us have to eat the food for 12 people. Fabs and Elline's wedding last Monday - where the food just overflows. Then yesterday was my nephew's birthday. I'm surely going to hell with all those foods I overly consumed - but with gusto, of course.

I woke up at around 1:30am today and sprinted my way to the bathroom. Here goes my punishment. Yes, it was a watery loosened bowel. Doesn't the English dictionary have a single term for this? Diarrhea sounds too professional. Something like "igit" in Bisaya. I'll just call it whit, short for wet shit. (No offense to Webster, Oxford and Miriam. This is my blog and there's nothing you can do about it.) I was about to go out of the bathroom but before I can reach the door handle, I can feel the gush of whit urging for an immediate release. I was frantically taking off my shorts and briefs. Before my buns can reach the rim of the bowl, there goes whit streaming like water in a fireman's hose. When I went back to bed, I have a bad feeling I will repeat this performance in a short while. Indeed, I woke up at around 4:30am and did the same thing.

It was around 8:30am, when I finished taking my bath. I'm planning to be here in the office on or before 9:00am. I left the room at around 8:45am, opened the front gate and took about 5 steps when I felt like farting. But it wasn't just a fart. Yes, it was whit! I started to sweat and headed back to my room. I can feel that it went all the way to my briefs. I was trying to be very careful on my walking because I don't want it to ever touch my trousers (Heaven, forbid!). So I looked like a zoombie walking without bending my knee and I still have to climb a few steps. I took off my pants and briefs when I went inside my room and confirmed my hypothesis. If it hadn't been one of my favorite briefs, I would've thrown it away. So, in the corner of my room lays a "soiled" pair of briefs. (I need to wash it this evening.)

Right now, I'm so exhausted and still praying it won't ever happen inside the office.