no cake

My world used to revolve around you. My days began and ended with you. I woshipped you, loved you and gave you all I have. Sometimes I wondered if it was enough. Though I couldn't hug you when you're sad, know that I tried my best to comfort you with the warmest words. I couldn't wipe those tears away but at those moments, I cried with you. When it came to my time and priority, you had always been second to none. But I was not there.

Remember exactly a year ago? I knew I no longer hold your heart. I was doing all I could to win you back. It was futile but I kept on hoping. Remember the cake? The watch? The flowers? The chocolates? The pair of diamond/sapphire earrings? The ankle bracelet? The bath petals? It made me a bit poorer but I wished that somehow it made you a bit happier. I was really having fun picking those choices and thinking if you'd like it. I knew you do. But I was not there.

I tried to imagine how you looked like in your dress when you described it to me. I longed for so much to see you. To see how your eyes glitter and your body giggle when you're excited about something. To see how you stomp your feet when you don't like something. To see how frightened you become when a spider crawled near you. To see how you pout your lips when you want me to do something for you. Those were heaven to me. But sadly I was not there.

There's no cake for today. Just a wish that you'll find what you're looking for. Happy birthday.


*sigh* This is what lack of sleep does to me. It turned me into an emotional dirtbag.