moaning chatter

I'm not quite finished with this s.o.t., s.o.p. thing yet. So I hope you'll bear with me.

I have met a lot of interesting gals including gal-acting individuals through cross-talk (This is pretty old. I could picture rotary phones when I remember this.), internet chat and most recently, mobile chat. I had 2 cybergfs in college and both were from the same school, Ateneo de Zamboanga University. A year ago, I met this girl from Cagayan in mobile chat and she became my "mobilegf" (err.. that doesn't sound right.) as she claimed to be. I'm such a world-class geek! It was really ridiculous and funny at the same time. I'm just in for the adventure.

It was in mobile chatting that I came to realize that a lot of women out there are in need of affection. Some would sound really hopeless. There was this chatter from Manila who invited me for an s.o.t. and insisted that I'll tell her 'I love you' almost all the time. Maybe that turned her on or she badly needed it emotionally.

There are just as many horny women out there as there are with men. A different chatter from a different city in Manila wanted to have an s.o.t. I played along but I wasn't really in the mood. Having experienced quite a handfull of these events, I became a bit good in the game. I was texting her a lot of kinky things I wanted to do with her, including my newly found Tagalog vocabulary - tinggil (the same as the bisaya term e.g. lalaruin ng dila ko ang tinggil mo), kadyot (push/pump/thrust e.g. bibilisan ko ang pagkadyot sa yo), sagad (sunk deep e.g. bumukaka ka pa para sagad lahat sa puki mo.), tamod (sperm e.g. ibubuhos ko lahat ng tamod ko sa luob ng kiki mo). Then she pleaded. "Shit! Kantutin mo na ako. Hindi ko na matiis. Ipasok mo na, pls". I teased her more and more. "Dahan2x ko ipa2sok ang ulo ng titi ko tapos ila2bas ko agad". But to my surprise she called. Maybe she wanted to talk and knew more about me. Women are usually like that. I was totally speechless when I heard, at the other end of the phone, a woman's voice moaning in pleasure. "Aaaaaaaaaah. Aaaaaaah. Oooooooh." Holy cow! Holy rooster! Holy animals! Is this her way of introduction? I waited for a couple of seconds but she didn't stop. My goodness! I didn't expect this to happen. I tried searching my mind on what's best to do but my brain shrinked into a raisin. I opened my mouth but I can't think of anything sensible to say. I decided to join her ecstatic sing-a-long. "Aaaaah. Aaaah." I shut my mouth after a few seconds. I sounded awful.

It lasted for more than a couple of minutes which seemed like eternity. After her "standing-ovation worthy" climax (Jenna Jameson will surely be green with envy), she hung up without any other words. I laid still on my bed. My breath went faster and faster. My sweaty hands still clutching the phone. I just couldn't believe what happened.

s.o.p. & others

s.o.t. stands for sex on text while s.o.p. is sex on phone. That's for the naive and the feeling naive people out there. Don't laugh. You know who you are.

My first s.o.p. was after high school. I started to date this certain lady. We didn't have a landline back at home at that time yet so I used to sneak into a semi-private library to use the phone. Luckily, the librarian happened to be a close friend of mine, courtesy of my socio-civic organizations. Then there was this boring Saturday afternoon and I was in the library waiting for my date 3 hours earlier. The librarian asked me to fill her in coz she had an important appointmet and will be back after a couple of hours. There was no one in the library except for myself and I bet nobody in their right mind would dare to visit a library at that hour of the day and at that temperature.

I sat behind the counter and called her (my lady-friend). She was fresh from the bathroom getting ready for our date and only had a towel to cover herself. I was getting horny at the instant. (Raging hormones, I tell you) I started to dirty talk to her while massaging my crotch. Imaginations gone really really wild. I was frantically looking for old newspapers at the shelf behind me to use as a floor cover when all that jism came out. After searching the surroundings and making absolutely sure nobody will ever come, I satisfied myself. (You know what I mean.) On the other line, she had no idea what's going on. All she heard from me was constant teasing and flirting.

s.o.t.

I logged in to Globe Mobile Chat to make use of my wakefulness at 11 in the evening last Sunday. I met a lot of texters including hot112.

ako: hi there! asl? stats?
hot112: hi! i'm from Iligan. 25f sexy. what's ur #?
ako: howdy! i'm bryan(<--screen name). 26m(<--screen age. hehehe way palag ha?) taga cebu. 0927******* (dili lang nako ibutang ako number kay tingali managhan ako stalkers. hehe)
hot112: hello (using my number. mahal man gud text sa mobile chat, tag 2.50/txt)
ako: halu din. who's this?
hot112: i'm lyka 25f from Iligan
ako: nice name. r u working? hav u bin hir in cebu?
lyka: k tanks. wala me work. yap but 8s only 2 weeks lang. last year
ako: ah ok. so, wat hav u bin doing n Iligan ol dis time? wala pa gyud ko kaanha sa iligan
lyka: (after a couple of minutes silence) what do u want now?
ako: well, 8 depends on wat u can ofer. (with a big grin!)
lyka: sot tayo
ako: cge. nahan ko mofrench kis sa imo lips. isuck imo tongue nya huwap2xon imo lawas
ako: ako dayn ipadagan ako dila sa imo chin hang2d sa imo liog. ako dayn ipa2yok ug kiss imo liog
lyka: shit! lami lagi ka modala
ako: (with improved ego) hinay2xon nako paubos ug kiss imo 2toy. icircle2x nako ako dila sa imo niples. ako dayn hinayon ug bite imo niples. lamia nimo uy!
lyka: share a load sa para maglami ta. 5 na lang blin ako load para dli ta mabtin
ako: ahak uy! gamay na lang pod ako load. next time na lang uy. nyt nyt (Bata pa kaayo ko para mahimong sugar daddy!)

Kamo na lang huna-huna kung nag-unsa ko paghuman. Basta natulog ra gihapon ko in the end.

post-heart

Valentine's gone at last. The euphoria is finally over. Thank heavens. Traffic was terrible last night. It took us twice the time to reach BTC. I just have to endure half an hour of Mark's agony. I hitched a ride with him so I made sure I sounded like I was in full sympathy with the traffic condition.

Drive-in motels took their share of clogged up traffic. Taxi lines at Jade's Court reached the corner of AS Fortuna! Lovers closely tied together at the backseat were too eager to take their turn of the room. I bet all motels share the same experience. There was a mass frenzy of sex and lust. I wonder how many gallons of sperm were ejaculated last night? I think it would be enough to sink the whole island of Cebu. And there would be enough female secretion to bathe all people in Cebu. As for me, I didn't lose a single sperm last night.

To answer the question thrown at me almost every single friend I met - I didn't have a romantic date yesterday. I don't know what made me decide to skip the opportunity. But I did not entirely skip Valentine's at all, although I was really contemplating about it for about and hour or two. I sent a valentine's text message to all my single lady friends at the stroke of midnight yesterday. I know that some are quite happy to receive something, even if it's cheap and trivial, like that. I could've sent a single rose if I have enough money. Hmmm. Maybe next time, I will collect money from them so I can buy a rose to each of them. That would be an idea. Dinner with Marie, Norman, Auxie, Cleng and Arnold at 10 Dove Street completed my night. Oh wait, actually a call from a friend is what really made my day.

hahaaaay

A big HAHAAAAY!!! Valentine's day na pod.

I couldn't remember when was the last time I went out on Valentine's Day with a sweetheart. Don't get me wrong. I always went out with a date. A prospect. But it never ended up into something serious. It seemed like a previous lifetime ago since I went out on a date with a girlfriend on Valentine's. This Tuesday is no difference at all. I would prefer staying at home rather than go out to malls and eat my entire heart out seeing all those lovers cuddling and chuckle-ing together. Hahaaaay na pod.

I've got 3 prospects this time. There's Ms. Sizzling, Ms. Js and Ms. La. I haven't met Ms. Sizzling yet but I already saw her via video conference (bless YM!) and became a regular chatmate. Ms. Js and Ms. La are both sexy and stunning. The question now is kinsa man gyud? After careful deliberation, I decided that it would be Ms. La I would be inviting for a Valentine's date. But, but, but kadumdom kos line ni Lany nga gikan pod kang Ella Rose (si masahista number 88), "Never, under any circumstances, touch it if you will not do anything about it."

I wouldn't deny the fact that men generally are afraid to face situations concerning emotions. A joke says, "Men are like mascara, they run out at the first sign of emotion." How very true indeed! I could no longer remember the last time I deliberated with myself whether or not I am ready. I was, and still am, afraid to know. There can only be 2 answers. But I guess, and people who have gone through these kind of things would agree, it's not as simple as having to answer yes or no.

I am afraid to know that I'm not yet ready. But then how the f*ck am I going to know if I'm ready or not if I'll never try and risk in the first place? I am afraid that if I'll go out with somebody, become serious with somebody, she might not be the person I'm looking for. I've been there once and it felt really, really bad breaking up with a girl and seeing her crying her heart out in front of you. I don't want that to happen again.

After giving out everything I have and failing at the end, I found it quite hard to settle. I became a coward. Counting all the worse that might happen even if I'm not there yet. I always love risks but this time around I am, to put it simply, afraid.

shove up and down

I was lying my back on a flat bench. Legs eagle-spread and bent. Sweat trickled on every corner of my body. I was panting. I shoved up. My face twitched and I felt the weight going down again. I did it again and again until it became a rhythm. Shoved up and down, up and down. I could feel my muscles constrict and expand. It was a good feeling but I knew that sooner my arms would give up. I had to let go. I can't carry it any longer. After a few minutes which seemed like an eternity, my arms trembled. My feet jerked. I'm almost there. I gave it one last shove and let out a grunt. I remained lying on my back while catching my breath. More gush of sweat dripped on every side of my body. I just couldn't believe I did it. I was able to bench press 30 lbs. of pure metal. Yeah, it's not much but it's a big deal for me who, 3 weeks ago, can only do 10 lbs.

Wipe that smirk off your face. hehehehe... Though I wish I was doing that dirty thought you're thinking a few seconds ago. But this post would not indulge on those kind of things.

I tried at some point to exercise. 5 years ago, I remember doing sit-ups. But after counting up to 5 with the greatest of effort, I remained still and went asleep. I never did it again since then. I bought a pair of dumb bells and weights 3 years ago. And all I did with it is to stare at it every morning when I wake up and imagine myself doing the exercise. I was that lazy.

I wouldn't be caught dead going to a gym. This was what I thought at least 2 years ago. But a slow realization that I am not growing any younger changed all that. Weighed with complains of back pains, knee pains, low vigor and a lot more. Roughly 3 months ago, I couldn't keep up with Tisha's grind moves on the dancefloor. My groove would only last an hour! After that I would only be standing and swaying among the crowd. That's horrible, I tell you, considering that during the prime of my teen life, I remembered dancing the whole evening away without even thinking about sitting down.

Then there was this thing about sexual performance. (Okay, I lied. I did talk about sex.) I couldn't do straight sets anymore. After the first round, I would feel really exhausted and would need all my mind power to be able to finish the second set. It used to be a minute of breathing before going to the next round but now it seemed I need at a quarter of an hour before proceeding.

I hope I would do better for the months to come. Wish me luck. teehee

new year! new year!

I had a feeling this is going to be a lucky year for me, aside from the fact that the chinese calendar says so. It said that all those born in the year of the snake will experience good fortunes in year 2006, the year of the dog.

To start with, I made this list. It's a pretty long list to do and buy for this year. It seemed like I'm cramming up for the things to do before 30. I'm gonna be 29 before the last quarter of this year. So, wish me luck!

Things to buy this year:
1) 3 pcs. fluffy pillow
2) electric iron. I always went to Tiya Renia's when I need extra ironing of my clothes.
3) mattress. The old ones need to go.
4) television. A close friend advised me that this would be a good buy to keep my feet on my room and not wonder in ungodly places.
5) computer. Same explanation above.
6) tennis shoes. Tennis practice would start Monday next week. I need to buy it this weekend.
7) running shoes. For gym use. Or maybe I'll decide to start doing some jogging later.
8) sandal/slipper. My second pair cannot be used further.
9) tennis racket. I'm supposed to buy a used one from Marie. But yesterday she told me that she won't be selling it. Bitch! I hope she'll made good of her promise that she's gonna help me find one.
10) second-hand Honda Civic. I always liked the 2000-2001 hunchback type. It's got a sporty look. Selling price was around 200K-250K.
11) 2 pairs of leather shoes. For office use. I never bought new ones for the last 2 years.
12) levi's jeans. Office casual every Friday now includes jeans. I have a good reason to buy.
13) guess jeans. I never liked Guess jeans. But I recently checked their store and they got those nice straight cuts and flares.
14) slacks. I was torn between buying RTW and going to a tailor. Mark suggested that for a lean body type like mine, I'm better off with custom fit. It's a good time to try.
15) golf shirts. I need lots of these. During my younger days, golf shirt is a big no-no. I always go for t-shirts. But now, these would be a good addition to my closet for office and party wear. Age does make a man...different.
16) refrigerator. The same close friend told me that since I'm really good in eating, I should have this. I'm going for personal size for my room.
17) curtain. My room really looked awful. I only got blinds, which is not enough to cover all the windows. They say it would also filter the dust coming to my room.
18) new lens for my glasses. I was drooling for the photochromic lens. I'll buy this next month.
19) cabinet/drawer. For storing all those craps laying on my room.
20) guitar. This could be a wishful item but who knows. I might start doing some guitar session few months from now.

Things to do this year:
1) go to a gym. This I already did. Today is my second day and pain is all over my body.
2) learn to play tennis. My first session would start on the 16th. I'm quite excited.
3) learn to play guitar. I hope my craving would surmount my wishful thinking so I can start this as soon as possible.
4) go jogging. I was considering doing this maybe next quarter. Mactan Air Base would be a good place early in the morning.
5) try hair spa/hot oil/etc. For the first time in my life, I let my hair grew a few inches. I need to try hair grooming while I still have patience for a long hair.
6) get a girlfriend. I got a long list. I'll be dating a chatmate this Saturday, then another one a weekend after that. I hope I can find a good match sooner.
7) go to Tiya Marcelina's grave. I kept on promising myself with this but never had the time last year. I will do my best to materialize it this year.
8) attend religious activities. Lalang invited me a dozen times last year but I always said no. I should try this once in a while. Who knows, I might meet my future bride in one of those sessions.
9) go to mass as often as possible. Going to mass won't be much of a problem to me but I might have problems doing it as often as possible.
10) flourescent lamp in my room. I transferred to my room 10 months ago but until now I still didn't had my lights installed. I'm always busy during weekends. I need to do this before this month ends.
11) learn foreign language. I hope there would be a foreign language class in the company this year so I could sit in and have my lessons for free. Any foreign language will do.
12) travel within Asia or in Palawan. I will certainly do this when #6 will come true. Cambodia and Thailand are on top of my list.
13) bungee jump. I heard there's bungee jumping somewhere in Cagayan. I need to plan this middle of this year.
14) sky jump. When I have an extra 5,000 pesos and will have even a single friend interested, I'll go for this.
15) white water rafting. Cagayan, as people say, has a good course for white water rafting.
16) scuba dive. I got excited when I plan for this. I like to buy my own wet suit and get a license.
17) teach nursery or kindergarten class. This is one of my dreams. The last time I inquired about this was, I think, a couple of years ago. But schools would prefer female teachers. I was hoping an opportunity would come by this year.
18) sleep early. 12 midnight should be considered late in the evening.
19) wait for my demands from my company until 1st quarter only. Otherwise, scour the world for better opportunities.
20) meet a chatmate in Dumanjug. I was planning to meet her there Friday next week or a week after that. I'm already excited. She said that she looks prim and formal but inside she's really aggressive.
21) have somebody lick my ass. Playboy lists it as one of the top fantasies of men specially if the girl is wacking him off at the same time. I hope I can have it for free in Dumanjug.
22) when opportunity comes, never hesitate screwing a married woman. I might go to hell for this. Well, I'm not really planning to break their family or something. All I want is plain screwing around. I got 2 opportunities already. The first time I almost did but my conscience bothered me. The second time I didn't mind her at all.
23) control sexual urges. I remembered sneaking out of the office for this reason, breaking an appointment and leaving a good conversation behind for this reason. I hope I won't do that again.
24) if there's a conflict between the two prior entries, the former must prevail.

It seemed like I already got a good list for the other year to come. hehehe

horny mama

It was my usual ride back to the city. Sleeping while the Vhire was speeding its way along the hiway had been my favorite event. I felt like being swayed in a hammock. There were only 3 of us in a row, which made our seating positions more comfortable. To my left was an elderly woman in her late 40s or early 50s. She looked like a typical mom having an appointment somewhere in the city. We would have been a few inches away from each other but she put her bag on the other side of the car seat. This gave us body contact from the waist down to the thighs. To my right was an elderly man, which was of no concern to me whatsoever. My bag was on my lap while I was listening music with my iPod. Then, I felt really sleepy.

I was completely under the spell of sleep but I occasionally woke up because my elbows would slip down and land on my seatmate's hips. I noticed that the elderly mom was also asleep. She rested her weight on the other side of the van away from me. Then I really dozed off for more than an hour. When I woke up, we were already at Consolacion but I noticed that later. What I noticed first after waking up was that my elbow was now resing on the elderly mom's hips. She was still asleep and was still leaning to the other side. I straightened myself. She woke up maybe perhaps because of my motions. She also straightened herself and did some grooming.

After that she'd become a little weirder. She would glance to my side often. I never glanced back but I could see her from the corner of my eye. She would give me a deep look. It didn't bother me at first until she did it a dozen times. I drove away the thought. Maybe she's just staring the guy in front of me. Then she made that flirtatious bouncing of her hair. She would glance side to side to deliberately make her shoulder-length hair bounce.

The van went straight to Ayala. She was a little panicky. I didn't mind her at all. I checked her fingers and couldn't find a ring. Then the man on my right went out near PLDT Mabolo. I distanced myself to her. It was then that she put her hands, palms down, beside her thighs. When the vehicle made a left turn towards Ayala, she put her hands below my thighs as if it was done by accident. I was dumbfounded. I never moved a muscle. When we're almost near Ayala terminal, I could feel her fingers wriggling under my thighs. It was tickling me and I almost jumped from my seat. She was muttering on where she was and how to go to her destination. I still didn't mind her. When the van stopped in Ayala, I immediately walked out without ever turning my back.

I was not sure if it was an opportunity missed.

holiday of bore

PS2. Food. TV. Sleep. This was my routine during the entire Christmas break. I didn't even get to finish the new book I bought nor did I lit up any sort of firecracker. Well, never again after that fateful incident with my 1-year old nephew.

All in all, it was a bore. But I'm writing it anyway. And now I have nothing else to write.

Hmmmm... There was one time I thought of writing all my manitos and manitas here in Lear for the past 5 years. This maybe a good time to list 'em all.

Year 2000. My first manito was Fabs. I gave him a McJim leather wallet. (Thanks ylan, for the correction.)
Year 2001. Jojo Graciano was my manito. I gave hime a hunting knife.
Year 2002. Gugs was my manita. I gave her an Alanis Morisette original CD.
Year 2003. Christmas was spent in U.S.
Year 2004. Ting was my manita. I gave her a pearl bracelet.
Year 2005. Macelle was my manita after a scheming plot. I gave her a leather belt and an umbrella.

albums

My friends and my manito had been very generous to me. They all gave me original music albums for Christmas. I was excited considering that I never bought a single album this year.


Being a manito to Earl, he gave me Slipknot's latest, The Subliminal Verses.





Mark gave me a Gary Valenciano's Greatest Hits.







Ma'am Elline and Fabs gave me Coldplay's A Rush Of Blood To The Head.







Tag gave me 2 albums! Nirvana's Nevermind and Maroon5's Songs About Jane.









Now, I got 5 reasons to smile this Christmas.

700 for what?

It was a Sunday before the holiday break. It was the loneliest Sunday I can remember so far. It was still 8 in the evening. I already took my dinner and left with nothing else to do. Lapulapu can be such a boring place in situations like this. No decent malls or even coffee shops to hang out. I decided to go to an internet cafe to update my blog.

The internet cafe I was in had enclosed cubicle in all of their stations except for the butt down which is visible to everyone else. But everyone else were inside the cubicle so no one really cared except perhaps those people walking on the aisle looking for vacant stations. As soon as I entered the cubicle, kinky scenes were playing in my head. And the thought of updating this blog had vanished into thin air.

I immediately logged in mIRC. I know. I know. This is quite the "dino-era" chatsite but a lot of people still use this. And I'm surprised that a lot of Bisdaks still visit the #cebu channel and of course, the #cebusex channel. It's still packing up with chatters but mostly were in their early teens. As the night grew less younger, a lot of 20-something chatters joined in. But only one chatter captured my attention.

Joyce. A 19-year old student. She was living in an apartment-type boarding house in "Private" area, in front of South Bus Terminal. She was a tease. We each had our webcam and saw each other's face. She was a real turn-on. Pretty with sumptuous and sexy body. Intelligence didn't matter anymore. I was drooling. The chat went deeper until she asked to see my underwear. I was getting a boner in an instant. Good thing I wore a nice pair of white sports brief, which made the erection less concealing. I stood up, opened my pant's zipper and showed her my undies. Then she asked if she can see my dick. I hesitated for a moment. The picture of my dick all over the internet and people's inboxes didn't look like a good scene at all. She begged and finally, I gave in. I just made sure I won't expose everything all at once. At first, I only showed her the lower half, covering the other half with my hand. Then, I point straight the head towards the cam so she'll only see the head. It lasted for almost a minute. I hate to admit it but it was turning me on. Would that make me an exhibitionist?

I demanded to see her tits but the internet cafe she's in didn't have cubicles. I was already burning. I asked her if I can see her that night. She agreed and said that I have to bring 700 pesos. She's going to meet me in the gasoline station in front of South Bus Terminal. I didn't bother to ask what the 700 pesos was for.

I went home to change clothes. I decided not to bring my wallet. My pocket only contains 7 pieces of 100-peso bills and a few bucks for my fare. I was a bit afraid I would be duped and would end up beaten and a hold-up victim. But I still took my chances. Indeed, she's really gorgeous. I got what I came for.

She led me to her boarding house and to her room. Her roommate was out for the weekend and won't be back until the next day. She asked for the 700 pesos. I gave her the money and understood that she's for hire. She took my shirt off and massaged my crotch. Damn. She was good. I hugged her and grabbed her ass. She let go. She said that I can only touch her tits. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All the time I thought 700 would bring me to heaven that night. I asked if what's the price if it's "all the way". 2,000 was her reply. I told her that 700 was all I got. She said that she can wack me off while I caressed her tits. I agreed but the thrill already subsided.

The end.

backlog

Okay. I owe this site a lot. I haven't been posting for quite sometime. The holidays took most of my time - dance practice, department christmas party and the company's christmas party plus buying gifts for my godchildren, and a lot more. A lot of interesting things had happened back then. I hope I captured all of those in my limited memory bank. Drat! I can't even remember the exact dates. I'll just put a phony date. I might be lucky. The posts from this point onward won't have the accurate date the event happened unless explicitly specified in the post.

change look

I'm not really metrosexual like some of the guys but I want to change image. I always cut my hair really really short. On my previous blogsite, I tried coming up with an English term for semi-opaw: "semi bald, not-so-bald, almost bald, or bald but not there yet". hehehe

I don't look nice in a long hair. That I learned a long long time ago but these days I like to see a different me when standing face to face with a mirror. I also have my goatee and mustache. I wonder how long I can keep this look until I feel despicable.








The red hairband costs me 5 pesos at Opon market. I only wear it though when I'm in my room.

This is how my hair looks when I'm at the office.

crazy? or unwell?

I hate to admit it but some times I get in touch and come face to face with my emotional side. It usually starts with a single event that leads into a ripple effect. All this time I thought I had this figured out. I'll say this for a fact that I'm such a B-I-G moron when it comes to dealing with emotions. Thus, the lag on my entries. At my old blog, it would take me around 3 months to muster the will to write an entry.

Why would things get so complicated when it came to this part? I see things in black and white. Period. But when emotions came into consideration it seemed like there's the whole spectrum of colors to deal with. When would it ever end? It's really that simple to understand but why, oh why, can't I make it stop? I'm no longer wishing, let alone, hoping, but still something is in there that I don't know and it's like making me insane.

One time, I was about to go to sleep when a pang of desolation came over me. There's something I need to do and I don't know what. Or something that I wanted but can't seem to figure out what exactly it is. I ended up banging my head on my pillow 'til my foolishness drove me to sleep.
Well, psychiatric help is just a phone away. hehehe...

side effect no. 2

I need to rest. The antibiotics are not doing me any good. I wonder what will become of me tomorrow.

--------------------o0o--------------------
delete. delete. delete.

Mingbasa kog balik unya giluod man ko...
--------------------o0o--------------------

side effect

It is official. After working 5 years in this company, I'm finally non-billable. Nada. Null. Void. Nil. Nix. Zero. Like a house rat, I'm only good for nothing but stealing for cheese. Or a leech that only lives to suck blood. Or fungi growing carelessly on a strap of a Victorinox watch. (I miss that watch. *sniff*) Well, I couldn't care less. As long as those paychecks keep on coming. My future, you say? To hell with that. I'm living each day like it would be my last... Don't really try to grasp what I'm talking here, okay. I'm having tonsilitis and I think those 500-mg antibiotics are taking its toll on my brain.

drip-drop

I wasn't really thirsty but I drank around half liter of water before I went home yesterday. Big mistake! I got a hyper-active bladder that matched with my voracious stomach. So what happened is that my body would try to secrete it in just a few minutes. But some other times, the liquid, urine, i mean, doesn't come out all at once. It would go out squirt by squirt in a time interval. Yesterday evening was no difference.

After brushing my teeth and doing my pre-sleep chore, I started to feel urinating. The bathroom is about 5 meters away from my room. I've no problem doing it the first time. But then came the second rush, then the third, and the fourth. Until I became sleepy but I can't sleep with urine on my bladder. I lose count on how many times I went to the bathroom that night. I was beginning to get pissed off.

I really don't know what kind of logic came into me(for sure, it wasn't a coherent one). The next thing I know was that I was reaching for the old newspaper I placed on the uninhabited upper deck of my bed. I took out a few pages and placed it above my trash can. I tapped the hollow center such that it will form into a sphere. After doing it, I felt another rush of urine urging for release. I aimed my piss to the concave, thinking that it will just be a few drops and will be absorbed by the paper. A few drops came out followed by another few drops, then a few drops more until I felt that there's more coming. I stopped and folded the newspaper. I really thought that everything was absorbed. But as the newspaper was folded, the piss came out sliding on the folded part and spilled into the floor. Yuck! It was a mess. I almost emptied my half-full alcohol bottle in cleaning the floor.

I hate going dumb. But in trying to appease myself for doing something as stupid as this one, I thought, well, at least it's not as gruesome as puke.

The first thing I did after waking up this morning was to bring my nose close to the floor to check if there was any stinky urine smell lingering around. Good thing there wasn't any.

text bitch

Time: 12:45am
Location: Office going to Mepz2 front gate.
Scene: Text message was received with unknown number. Below is the text conversation verbatim.

unknown #: Hi...Larga nko Manila oct.15 naa n ko work did2i'l be msin u ol,huhu... manawag ra ko. D ko kabalibad kalit2x [long gap] ang offer.. [long gap again] puli ko n BOB sa pinOY BIG BROTHER
(I don't even know who the f*ck Bob is. And even if I do, I'd never give a damn. Heck, I don't even watch the show. Well maybe because I don't have television...)
splat: kinsa man ka?
unknown #: Fanz rako ù?..Pag college..Stephany ako name.U?
splat: mga bayot ra man to ako fans. bayot pod ka? teehee..
(I don't know any bitch named Stephany in college, even in night clubs)
stephany bitch: Girl ko oi.Stil virgn pasad.U
splat: aaa bakakon ka. tanan nako kaila nga girls kay dli na virgin.. ang ako ra 4 kabuok tiya ang akng nailhan nga virgin..
stephany bitch: Kaw gud..Gusto ka ikaw una nako.Para too ka nga virgn pako.U?
splat: lami lagi na.. asa man ta kita??
stephany bitch: Kaw...Unya kaw bahala..Basn imo rako binoangan.U?
splat: kanus-a gud tawn ko nagbinoang ug mga baye.. asa man ka karon?
stephany bitch: Naa ko guadalupe..Sure ka dli ka binoang.8?
splat: ay dli tawn ko makigbinoang uy.
stephany bitch: Bantay bitaw ...
splat: unya nus-a man ta kita?
stephany bitch: Kaw..?Nus-a man imo gusto.U?
splat: inig ka sabado lang. tex lang unya ta
stephany bitch: Asa man?..Basn sakit na..
splat: sakit lang na sa permiro uy. mawala ra na kadugayan. mangita lang ta pension haus dha syudad.
stephany bitch: Na mauwaw jud ko ani..Basn nana ka asawa ha.U?
splat: dli pod ko magbinuang kung nana ko asawa uy.. ayaw lang gud kauwaw..
stephany bitch: Na ..Ambot ani oi.Hot man gud kay ka.U?
splat: wala man ko gihilantan. nanginit na diay ka diha?
(I hope she gets my line)
stephany bitch: Wala man..slep nata oi.U?Nyt2x.Swetsdreamz..
splat: nyt nyt pod. 'wetdream..

I'm gonna screw a bitch tomorrow. Woooheee!!

p.s.
clara:
splat: clara ang imong daliri kay meron HD sa akin.. mangita gyud sa ako name sa fonbuk unya magsend ug empty msg
clara: Haha, mau ba. Grr! Wa nako na lock ako fone. Gimingaw cguro ako fone nmo hehe
splat: wala man ko kadumdom nga nagka sexcapade mi sa imong fon. nakalimot lang tngali ko
clara: Basi nakatulog napud ka wa lang ka kanumdum hehe

videoke at charo's

syndrome

Scene 1.
Last Sunday evening I packed my office uniforms so I could bring it to Tiya Renia's for ironing. I kept on reminding myself to bring the 5 pieces of hot 'bingka' I bought. They tasted really good. I was a bit in a hurried state. When I was about to eat my dinner at Tiya Renia's, I just remembered that I forgot the 'bingka'. I didn't want it to be left till the next day coz it might spoil. I excused myself and headed back home to get those damn 'bingka'.

Scene 2.
After dining and ironing my office uniforms at Tiya Renia's, I went straight home. Later that night, I remembered that I needed to buy hair gel. I planned on going to Rose Pharmacy near Tamiya and then going to a PCI ATM nearby for some money. I needed to pay those damn credit cards. After buying the hair gel, I went straight home. When I was about to sleep, I just remembered that I forgot to withdraw money. I made another plan to do it tomorrow morning.

Scene 3.
I was on my way to MEPZ 2 front gate yesterday when I remembered that I needed to buy mineral water. I went to Rose Pharmacy again near Tamiya. I was heading to the fridge when I noticed the Quaker oats displayed on the rack. Then, I remembered that I planned on buying it sometime ago. So I stopped. Did some checking on the 2 colors of Quaker to see what's the difference. Then, I noticed other oat brands so I checked them out as well. I finally decided to buy the blue-colored Quaker oats. Went straight to the cashier, paid the item, headed outside and boarded a tricycle bound for Merkado. When I reached home, it just occured to me that I was supposed to buy mineral water and all I got is a goddamn Quaker oats. I cursed myself a thousand times, rammed through my drawer to see if I can find something that could hurt my stupid self. Arrrggghhh. I hate being a moron. I wanted to punish myself. I was thinking of banging my head on the wall but it would probably hurt. Then I saw a pair of scissors. I was thinking of bleeding my arm but it might be messy. I can't think of any other way of hurting myself without really getting... uhm hurt in the process. Sounds really crazy, I know.

I know somebody who has this kind of sickness. I call her Clara but in her blog she's called Aneshka. It's more appropriately called Sintclaire Syndrome. Now, I wonder if it is somewhat an early manifestation of Alzheimer's or if I contracted it from Clara, herself. hmmmm...