cheesy

If you haven't noticed it yet, there are 2 topics recurring in this blog: HUMOR and SEX. Humor is mostly based on self-humiliating experiences of any sort while sex nowadays is just a heart-wrenching, soul-ripping, energy-draining fantasy I created while singularly stimulting sexual gratification on my bed.

The least discussed topic, I dare say, is those that relate to emotional sentiments or generally, matters of the heart. These are things I specially reserve to the seclusion of my most intimate partner. That is why it's a big deal for me to publicly talk about cheesy things. However, there are times, the rarest of instances, that I do post cheesy blog entries.

Ylan, a blog friend as well as an ex-colleague and a good friend, reminded me of this blog post I have long forgotten. She emailed it to me and the first impression I have when I read it was "Who is this dork that wrote all this crap?". It turned out the dork was me. Tee-hee. I immediately scoured the blog site last evening. Lo and behold! I've written a single entry in it. Read it below. It exudes all mushiness in me. If my memory serves me well, this was the last mushy thing I've written in public, perchance the last one.

I wrote it 4 years ago around 8 in the evening at exactly the same date as today. Before proceeding, I urge you to make your vomit bag handy in case you want to puke due to excessive intake of mushy words.

This one is titled...

** begin cheesy post **

side effect.

Confused. That's what I am.

Love. That's what I'm confused of.

I tried searching. But deep down I cannot see.

Questions clinging my thoughts. Is my heart finally free? Am I ready?

Before I sleep and after I wake up, I ask this.

My heart won't give an answer. My brain's too dumb for this.

Bind me with your spell again.

Show me your smile.

I want to feel that warmth. That passion.

Let's fly away. To that familiar place.

Take me there once again.

Oh, Love! Take me. Take me away.

** end cheesy post **

Syet!! I've filled my first bag already.

to yes or to no

This is a recap of a recent conversation I had with one of my project-mates in our office. Because of some technical jargons that you may not understand, I used apple and box as analogy to the discussion that happened.


me: Is there an apple in this box?

project-mate: What do you want to do with the apple?

me: I just wanted to know so I can give this box to Mr. Appleman if there's an apple in here.

project-mate: Why do you need to give that box to Mr. Appleman?

me: Look. I'm not going to evaluate how you put the apple in this box. I just want to know if there's an apple inside this box.

project-mate: Do you want an apple? I can give you an apple.

me: You have an apple in there? Why didn't you put it inside this box?

project-mate: Tell me why you need the apple.

me: It's for Mr. Appleman. I want to give this box to Mr. Appleman.

project-mate: I can give you an apple if you want it.

me: No. This box. We're talking about this box. Is there an apple in here?

project-mate: If you need an apple just tell me and I can give you an apple.

me: Liten to me. All I wanted to know is this box. Is there an apple in here?

project-mate: Tell me why you need an apple then I will give you an apple.

me: Are you saying there's no apple in this box?

project-mate: If you want an apple, it's here. I can give it to you.

me: You're saying I can't give this box to Mr. Appleman, right?

project-mate: You can say that.

me: That's all I wanted from you. It's really that simple.


I know what you're thinking. Goddamn uncle-fcuker crappy-minded piss-drinking dim-whitted shitwhore!!! It's a fcuking YES or NO question for fcuking out loud. Why does it have to be that fcuking complicated to answer? And besides, the world will not fcuking melt if you just fcuking say NO right away. In fact, it could have made things fcuking easier for both of us.

Situations like this made me think about that cool Mark XIX Desert Eagle semi-automatic and just shoot this annoying asshole point-blank between the eyes. It would've made things easier.

Hay! I miss the "great ED team" in my previous company.

back

I'm back!!!!!!!!! Oh God how I miss this blog like a desert misses rain.

It's been ages since I last visited here. Within those period I fathered a child, went to prison for 5 days for public acts of lasciviousness, and took a couple of weeks vacation to Bora-Bora in the French Polynesia.

But you know me, I like to make lousy pun for a joke and am also a big liar. Don't believe a single word I said up to this point.

Although, I like you to believe that during the time I was away from blogosphere, I was in a secluded private resort lounging lazily under a tropical sun while receiving a soothing Balinese or Lomi Lomi massage by a brunette, and reading a good book with a glass of Mojito at the side. My only concern would come from choosing a vintage Bordeoux or a frisky Burgundy to pair with grilled lobster and filet mignon for dinner.

Of course, in a world like that financial meltdown doesn't exist, poverty is virtually unknown, and corporate slavery is totally unheard of. But it doesn't hurt to wish, right? After all, that is the only thing a poor country boy like me can do for free. Well, maybe aside from peeping on a girls' restroom.

The sad truth is I never went to a vacation save for the Chinese New Year week where our company declared a week-long shutdown. I brave going to Cebu despite a depleted bank account account due to my vacation in Hong Kong last December. After that my savings comes so close to extinction. But like everytime, I'll survive...... Oh syet!!! Now Gloria Gaynor won't stop singing in my head. "...Go on now go, Walk out the door, Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore..." Before I'll decide to get up and do a two-step, it's better I'll continue this writing.

Where was I?...... Oh yeah! Going back to Cebu. I was carrying a 20-kg bag, 2 hand carry bags and plastic bag with a toy in it. Except for the smaller hand carry bag that contains a pair of jeans and 3 pieces of shirt, everything else was for my family and friends. I was cursing while I push and shove the heavy bags from the apartment down to the street. I was cursing while I loaded them in the taxi. I was cursing all the way to the airport checkin counter, specially louder when the counter girl declared I have to pay for my excess baggage. Right there and then I decided never again would I carry so heavy luggages for other people.

The very same day I arrived in Cebu, I went to Mom's with all of my aunties and uncles surrounding me. Then I started to hand over the gifts. At that moment, all the pain and hassles during the trip melted away along with the smiles on their faces. Any sort of fatigue from carrying those bags were smoothed down by the heartfelt thank yous and kisses. I realized it was all worth it.

I would love to write more but my work is calling me like a bitchy nagger for a wife yelling at her drunk husband to go home or else... See you around.

tardy

WAAAAAAAZZZZZUP, mah hommies!!!!!

This could be the tardy-est greeting you'll ever get for this year but let me say it anyway. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! Well, the lunar new year is still two weeks around the block so it ain't really that bad. How do they say it in Chinese? Kung Hei Fat Choi? Or something that sounds like that. Whatever.

Anyway, I've been away from this blog for quite a long time because for almost a couple of weeks since I arrived from my 2-week vacation, I'm still mesmerized by the experience I had in Hong Kong. It was both exhilarating and emotional.

Exhilarating because it is my first time visiting the place.

Emotional not because I was way overwhelmed and almost into tears upon the very first time I stepped out from the train station in Mong Kok area to be greeted by a throng of people passing me here and there, and bumping me at times. The sea of people walking down the street is comparable to that of NY Times Square save those protesters on side streets that sometimes go nude. It's like that corner in Colon St. and Jones Ave. but with 10 times more people.

Emotional because of that person I met there and the things I thought I'd lost over time had never really gone away. Then there's that dreadful airport goodbye scene.

I'll keep you updated once I can spare more time and maybe post a few pictures. And oh, I'll be going back home end of this month so see you all suckers and motherfuckers out there.