father figure

"Ganahan na ko motan-aw ug apo!!! Kanus-a man ko makakita sa akong apo uy?!?" (I like to see a grandchild!!! When can I see my grandchild?!?), says my Mom half-shouting and half-asking, making sure her voice will be heard by everybody else and most specially by me. She was at the kitchen with my aunties and her friends. I was at the living room concentrating on watching the Justice League beating the shit out of those aliens who were trying to invade Earth.

I went to my Mom's house last weekend to celebrate an annual reunion. But it was my first where she was constantly reminding me to go and make someone pregnant. It has something to do with my age, I guess.

Take for example this event. I was buying some crackers and an orange juice one evening at the nearest sari-sari store. The lady inside the store asked me. "Para ni sa imong anak, sir?" (Is this for you kid?) I didn't know if I will be amused or turn red with anger. I looked at her, smiled and said, "Dili uy. Gutom man gud. Para snacks ra ni nako." (Nope. I'm hungry. This is just for my snacks.) I was hoping that will be the end of our conversation but she blurted, "Si sir uy, mamakak pa gyud. Dili pa gyud moangkon. Pila na diay edad sa imong anak, sir?" (You're lying. Admit it. How old is your child?) Now, I'm the freakin' liar!!! Trying to maintain my composure, I smiled at her again, took my change and left without saying another word.

Shit!! Maybe I really look old. It must be my hair or my face or my glasses. I hope it's just my glasses because I can't do much about the rest.

Another similar incident happened last week. I was sitting on the bed inside a motel and was busy loosening the laces of my shoes. The girl I took with me asked me without hesitation, "Pila na diay kabuok imong anak?" (How many children do you have?) What the...!!! "Dili pa ko minyo uy. Ulitaw pa intawn ko." (I am not yet married. I'm still a bachelor.), I replied and raised my hand to let her see that I don't have any wedding ring. "Pero nana kay anak sa lain baye?" (But do you have a child with another woman?), retorted the girl.

WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! For now, I just want to get laid and watch those superheroes saving the planet from those who want to destroy it.