makeover

This blog needs a serious makeover. The white background. The banner. It all spells lame. A 6th grader can do better than this............ *sigh* Kakapoy baya.

bedroom moments

After posting a couple of entries yesterday, I found out that I quite missed blogging. Hence this entry, a third one within 24 hours.

I want to talk about awkward moments. Not those moments when you're giving a speech or doing a presentation in front of a large crowd. I want to talk about those moments when it was just you and your partner, in all sorts of nudity.

A truckload of memories filled up my brain as I try to sort out those really awkward and funny ones.

Moment 1.
During my late teen years, when I'm not yet this proud about my sexual prowess, I was at my girlfriend's room. We just got back from the town on a Monday dawn for the university classes. Since jeepneys were rare in those hours, we decided to go to her house, which was a stone's throw away from the bus stop, and take a few hours nap. But with my girlfriend lying beside me, napping was the last thing on my mind. We were both wearing our undies. After some serious kissing and without taking off our undies, I got on top of her and slowly gyrated my hips until I started to do some dry humping. We were both so horny and she already "wet" her panties. She froze all of a sudden. "Agay! Agay! Akong bolbol napi-it!"

Moment 2.
We were at the motel. I'd been there for a few times but going there always gave me butterflies in the stomach. I always ended up relieving my stomach first before settling for the "main course". That night, I thought I will just be alright. She turned the TV on. I sat beside her, kissed her shoulder gently going up to her neck. She let out a soft sigh that gave me an instant hard on. She laid her back on the bed. "Foreplay time!", I thought. I opened my knees apart to go on top of her. But as soon as my other knee landed on the bed. I let out a loud fart. I smiled. She giggled. Back to business. But a very foul odor filled the room after a few seconds. "Baho'g otot!!!", she shouted and headed straight to the bathroom.

Moment 3.
First time checking in at Hotel Sogo in Sanciangko St. We boldly went to the front office desk. She hid herself behind me. A few people were sitting at the lounge area near the desk. I asked the lady behind the counter in almost a whisper, "Miss, naa moy available nga short time?". The girl turned to her left and searched for her colleague. She couldn't find her so she shouted at the top of her voice, "CHE, NAA PAY AVAILABLE NGA SHORT TIME??!??!??". I almost melted out of embarrassment.

Moment 4.
It was my birthday. We went to a spring resort at the south of Cebu. The place was a big disappointment but we never mind as long as we will be alone together. We were cuddling each other until our passion took the better of us. We were both butt naked. She was lying on the bed and I was on my knees by her side brandishing my proud erection. I was slithering my finger to her pussy. Making her wetter and wetter. I could tell she was in pure sexual ecstasy. I dirty talked to her in a low, sexual tone. "Basa-a na nimo uy. Ako nani tilaan." She just sighed and sighed. "Lami ni siya?", I dirty talked again hoping she would respond. And response she did but it was not what I was hoping for. She opened her eyes as if waking from a dream. Her eyes wandered from side to side. Then she answered matter-of-factly, "Ambot lang. Unsaon man nako pagkahibaw?" I broke down to laughter and really laughed my ass off. She reached for my now half-limp member and complained. "Ngee! Mingluyat."

music and lyrics and arithmetic

Some of my funny experiences.

The girl on my left while riding a Vhire from Ayala to the office, hearing a Michael Jackson song on the radio, tried to do some sing-along.

girl *singing during the verse*: [unintelligible lyrcis].....

Then the chorus of the song came. She blurted out.

girl: Silly Jean not my lover, It's just a girl 'coz I am the one...

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My neighbor waking me up with her videoke rendition of a Barbra Streisand classic.

I turn away from the wall
Istanbul and poll
But I give you it all!!!!!

I am a woman in love
And I do anything...

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Our secretary asking me details about my previous travel.

sec: Unsa gani ka ato nga month minglarga?

ako: February.

sec: Pila diay ka months gi-tatak sa imong visa pagsulod nimo sa immigration?

ako: 6 months.

sec *counting with her fingers*: So March, April, May, June, July, August. Unya pila man ka months ang extension?

ako: 6 months gihapon, Betch. (pun intended)

sec: Ah okei. (continued her counting) September, October, November, December, January, February. Uy, 1 year diay ka didto?

ako: .....

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Medical students falling in line in a movie theater before me.

ticket girl: Ma'am, wala na ra bay vacant sa taas. Sa ubos na lang.

student1: Pila man ang bayad sa ubos?

ticket girl: 60, Ma'am.

student1 *asking her companion*: Pila man tanan?

student2: 60 times 8. Pila mana?

student1: Naa koy calculator.

student2: 420! 420!

student1: Aysa kay atong i-calculate.

student2: 420 lagi.

student1: 480 uy.

student2: aw, 480 diay.

more some + 1

Having a foursome was exactly the same as having a threesome except that, in my case, it was more taxing. The fourth member of our mini-orgy was her friend from Mindanao who was around for the summer. During the ritual, or I'd like to call it 'The Passing of Candy', they didn't want to do the girl-to-girl kissing much to my dismay. So I have to get the candy out from each of their wet mouth (tongue included) and pass it to the next anticipating mouth. It was very kinky at first then due to inebriation we would topple ourselves on the ground. The place was all stones and shrubs. I would either land on my back or on my hand while carrying her weight with my other arm so she wouldn't bruise herself. It was a physically demanding debauchery but pleasurable nevertheless.

I was nursing some bruises and minor sprains the morning after but it was the experience that made the corners of my mouth turn up.

P.S.
Neshka, thanks for reminding me of this blog.