Tuesday, May 16, 2006

sunday nothing

I have to post an entry 'coz it's been quite sometime since my last one. But what can I share? I don't have much adventures here as I do in Philippines. But I'm hoping not to trip and fall head first when I get out of the car like Ylan. hehehehe

I thought going to an internet cafe in Lapulapu ('coz there's nothing else to do) was lame. But taking pictures of myself in the hotel on a Sunday morning is lame to the infinity! I never thought I would do this but here it is.

Tele all day.










God, I don't even know what to say about this picture!










Got to finish my grapes with a bottle of wine.










Stocking some euro cents on top of my tripod. So damn lame!











I'm still guessing as of this moment what to call this entry.

Friday, April 28, 2006

foreigner


The Bavarian part of Germany, which I am now, is known for its landscape - beautiful hills, thick forests, nice Bavarian houses and buildings. Add it with German aesthetics on furnitures, appliances and architecture, and it makes a picture perfect place. I am almost certain that the standard Bliss wallpaper found on msXP OS was captured on this side of the world.

Yet, I'm not feeling excited about the whole situation. Something's missing.

When I went to the U.S. 4 years ago, I dreaded the fact that I will be in a foreign land, completely ignorant to the culture, to the way of life. I could write a book about all the blunders I made while I was there. I never imagined things work this and that way in a first world country. I never looked back and felt sad about leaving the warm Philippines, about leaving my friends. In fact, the place grew in me. I could see myself living and growing old in that foreign land. I began to like the cold weather and the snow. It didn't make me sad. I could only recount 1 out of 365 days that I felt homesick - it was only during my birthday.

But now and here, it was different. I kept on thinking about the laags, gimiks and dine outs back in Cebu, specially the beach under the Philippine sun. Here, there's Munich, Berlin, Frankenfurt, Spain, even France to go to. Or go even further like Portugal, Denmark, Netherlands, Italy - all within my reach (if I only have the time and the budget, of course.). Still it didn't appeal to my senses.

Maybe because I don't know the language. I don't feel welcome. I was a total alien. In the US, I can easily blend in. Here, I don't even know what to reply to the sales lady if she asks me something or to a cute stranger I met along the way. If I went to the supermarket and pay the cashier, I will be very glad to say "tschuess" (read as choos, bye in English ) because that will be the end of the conversation. When I went to the gas station and wanted to use the restroom, I can't just barge in to the cashier and ask for the key. So I have to punish my bladder.

There are a lot of Filipinos, Pinays to be specific, in nearby cities. But they are not enough to satisfy my hunger for parties and good times. They're older women and have totally different meaning of good time. They like to talk about who's beautiful, who's got the nice boobs, the nice ass, the nice body, the clearer complexion, the sexier dress and so and so. And I am teaching them boogie for a party presentation this 6th of May! I still can't recall how I get myself in this ordeal. I have to add though, they are all extra nice. I felt so at home when they are around. Some would remind me of my real tiyas back home. They're so concerned about having enough food to eat for the day.

I'm counting the days I'll be back home and basking under the hot sun.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

wagtang ang duka

Ako lang ni i-post kay nawagtang gyud akong duka ani nga chat ganina. Former officemate ni nako nga pwerting sipata. Kung imo siya tan-awn kay mura siya anghel nga dili makabuak ug plato. Pero kung magchat na gani, ambot lang... (note: some names are edited for confidentiality's sake)

me: hi tsiks... dili pa ka matulog?
cSaGmail: 10:00 sa gabii??? buntag pa na sa ako hehehe
me: bitaw sa? kaliwat man diay kag witch
cSaGmail: oo ... ako ra witch nga buutan
me: ayaw sulti ana, makilatan gani ka diha sayo gyud na mabyudo si mr d...
cSaGmail: ok ra kay ning promise man ko sa akong self nga mangalag ko sa akong tanan kaila hehehe
me: pagsul-ot unya ug t-back or brazilian cut nga panty unya victorias secret nga lingerie para sexy kaayo ang mokalag sa ako... tingalig marape pa hinuon nako hehehehe
cSaGmail: na naunsa ..miski na rape-pon tika walay pulos kay molusut ra..mora ka gajerjer ug hangin
me: bahala na kay naay hangin... kung maglolo gani kay huna-huna ra gyud kutob... hehehehe
cSaGmail: haha atay...
me: magchange topic ta, pretty c, kay nanginit na ko diri asa diay ron ang imong mr pesky?
cSaGmail: pangita diha germanese (kay girl man). naa diri sa akong tapad nag dukduk pud sa iya pc
me: mura diay internet cafe ang inyong balay sa?
cSaGmail: oo pwede mi magduwa ug network games. pero mas lingaw cguro ko kung laing network ang among himoon
me: ahehehe... sipat man ka uy... lisod pangita diri germanese uy kay lisod idiskarte nga mag-german. naka-disco mi last saturday kay daghan unta kaayo tsiks didto
cSaGmail: syaro wa dyud kabalo mo english
me: kabalo mo-english pero lisod kaayo sabton
cSaGmail: ning attempt na lang tani ka ug sabot...tsk! naka take home unta ka
me: tutok ra gyud intawn ko kutob sa mga puti nga paa ug sa hamis nga lawas... ang ako nabal-an nga german kay "danke" ug "goten morgen" ra gyud - "thanks" & "good morning"
cSaGmail: tsk..bastos lagi paminawon ang goten morgen.. murag oten gi murder hehehe
me: amaw!! bastos gyud kag huna-huna da.. birahi na imong bana sa imo kilid ay
cSaGmail: akong murderon iyang oten ayaw pud intawon
me: hehehe... ayaw lang murdera uy.. paaka lang..
cSaGmail: ay da way flavor!
me: hmmm... tigaan unya tikaw ug para flavor ana... mangita ko diri
cSaGmail: hahaha ayaw lang pud nang sud-an nga flavor ha kay basin tinud-un nako ug kaon
me: hehehe... dili tikaw tigaan ug humba or chicken-adobo flavor uy unsa man imo ganahan? cherry, strawberry, pineapple, honey or apple flavor?
cSaGmail: strawberry para murag gi pimple
me: hahahaha... buang!! mura ra man na siya colorless nga lotion.. wala kay matilawan nga liso-liso uy. pag-abot nako gikan sa u.s. kay naa ko da daghan. daghan pod ming-ingon nga nindot kuno kay tam-is tam-is
cSaGmail: ows? NGANONG WALA MAN KA NANGHATAG NAKO! tsk!
me: maulaw pa man ko atong mga panahona.. tingali mo-ingon ka nga pervert ra kaayo ko.. mabad shot unya ko sa imo. mingsulay pod ko palit atong pump-pump nga isul-ot sa oten para palami
cSaGmail: nya unsa feeling ato? kita nako ana diri
me: kapoy man to uy kay ako man ang magsige pump... mahawoy akong kamot kadugayan. dugay ko magul-an.. ako na lang dayon kuhaon unya kamoton na lang...
cSaGmail: nangita ka ug tig pump.. katong mga txt mate nimo
me: txt mate ra ba ta hehehehe mabastos man ko basta ikaw ako kachat, pretty c, i wonder why
cSaGmail: i wonder why pud nga am so wholesome man ko ka chat
me: saba diha uy kanus-a gyud intawn ka nawholesome
cSaGmail: katong naa pa ko sa tiyan sa akong mama
me: hahahaha sakto!! kay paghilak nimo, kabalo dayon ang doktor nga bastusin gyud ka nga bata
cSaGmail: at least paghilak ra ikaw kabalo na cguro imong mama daan naa pa sa tiyan.. oi oi..mo ebs sa ko
me: hala sige... ba-bye.. ayo-ayo sa pag-ebs

Naglain pod tingali ang lawas ani niya kay ming-adto man ug c.r.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

alemanya

Germany is, well, full of Germans. Everything is in German. The driver who fetched me from Nuremberg airport can't speak and understand any single English word I say. All we did was shake hands. I told him about the cold weather but all he did was shrugged and raised his hands to inform me that he doesn't understand. After a few minutes of driving, I noticed that I wasn't buckled up. I told him that I forgot to strap my seatbelt because in Philippines we're not used to seatbelts. But we're not driving as fast as 100kmh and blah blah blah. He stared at me as if to choke me to death, gave me a sly smile, nodded his head in disapproval and shrugged his shoulders. Pshew! I gave up.

My first day of work. I felt like I stand out with all the colors on my golf shirt (they usually wear dark colors), my deep brown skin, my earring and, of course, my *ahemm* young looks. I only realized later that a lot of people are wearing earrings and there are plenty of young-looking engineers. Pisti uy! An engineer in the testing department said that I'm sooo brown. What the hell did he expect? Michael Jackson? Temperature in the tropical and exotic Philippines goes as high as 35C! And besides I'm proud of my brown skin.





I was impressed to see that my computer and project setup were all in place the day I arrived. I got a spanking new 21" LCD monitor. But my spirit soared down the moment I realized that the OS is in German. Tears almost fell down my cheeks when I take a look at the RTOS software and mostly are in German. The damn variable names and function names are in German. The comments are in German. Furthermore, the schematic diagrams are labeled in German. WAAAAAAAAAAH! I think it was easier to "trap my fart" (in Bisaya: magbitik sa otot).

tugnaw

Mao poy nakadaot aning tugnaw ang panahon, magsige lang gahi ang akoa. Haaaay! Modaot kog samot ani ba. Maayo gani kay magjeans ko diri sa office, dili maklaro. Mga lami ra ba kaayo ang mga German tsiks, mga slim nga bus-ok. Grrrrr. Dyo want to have my baby? hehehehe

Thursday, March 23, 2006

kalit

Nag-ilis ko ganina. Mga alas dyes to sa buntag. Padung ko sa opisina. Ang akong bag-o nga Sony Wega langas kaayo. MYX sa Studio 23 ang channel sa TV. Nahuman na ang Daily Top 10. Ang sunod nga ipasalida kay Take 5. Lima kabuok kanta sa same artist ang ilang ipakita. Ang featured nga mangantahay kay si Josh Groban. Dili kaayo ko fan aning tawhana.

Ang pirmero niya gikanta kay To Where You Are. Nindot man diay kaayo ni siya ug tingog. Mao diay sikat kaayo ni siya. Gipakita dayon ang Broken Vow paghuman. Ambot naunsa ko atong mga panahona nga nagsakit man ako dughan. Paghuman kay You Raise Me Up ang gisunod. Sa kani nga higayon kay mingkalit lang tulo ako luha unya mingtyabaw ko ug hilak.

Pisti uy! Mga baye ra man ako nabal-an nga mangita ug rason para lang mohilak. Ngano nag-ingon ani man ko? Mag-ingon ani pod kaha ang ubang mga laki? Wa na, nabayot na tingali ko. Kung mangutana ko sa ubang mga baye kung ngano, tubagon lang kog, "Gidugo tingali ka.". Dili gyud makatabang sa akong pangutana. Mao na ako na lang ning iblog.

Maglagot ko nga wala ko kabalo nganong mingkalit ra ko ug hilak. Pero dili pod ko ganahan makabalo kung ngano minghilak ko. Libog sa?

atbang

After my 12 hours stay at Manila yesterday, I was reminded why I dreaded coming to that place. It's not a bad place at all. In fact, I was dreaming to have a whole week stay in there and experience how wild Manilanians get when the sun sets.

I arrived around 6 in the morning. Took a taxi and told the driver that I'm heading to Makati Medical Center. The truth is I'll be going to RCBC Tower fronting the hospital. But I was searching for the Tagalog term of "atbang". During my ride, I realized that I need to tell the driver that I want to be parked on RCBC Tower. I desperately scanned my brain for Tagalog vocabulary but nothing came out. I contemplated calling Clara but it was still 6 in the morning. She wouldn't want me disturbing her about a stupid Tagalog term that early in the morning. So I took my chances with the driver. Miraculously, he knew where RCBC Tower is and began his chit-chat about it. Damn! It was good he knew the place but please spare me the conversation. My tongue is too ill-positioned to speak the dialect. I only laughed and butted my "oo nga po", "tama nga ho", "ah ganoon ba?" every now and then.

RCBC Tower is one hell of a building. There are a lot of elevators but not all would stop on each floor. A set of elevators would go directly to floors 31-45. Another set would go to floors 21-30 and another set is for floors 1-20. The bad part is I didn't know. I immediately embarked on the elevator and searched for 25 but dammit, I couldn't find the number. I tried searching on the other side but it was not there either. A thought of going out in the elevator came late. It was already speeding towards 31st. *sob*

The interview went okay if you call it an interview at all. The consul didn't ask me anything. He only said that he can't give me a multiple entry visa since it was my first. Then, he told me that I need to photocopy my insurance docs and that's it.

The hard part is getting to where the photocopy machine is. The guard said it was on the 3rd floor. I now knew what elevator to take. After embarking, I was surprised to see that there is no other buttons on the elevator except for G. Waaaaah! How can I get to the bloody 3rd floor?!? The LED indicator suddenly stopped at 3. What the?!? Is it a mind-operated elevator? I was sure I heard the sound of the elevator door opened but the door in front of me remained closed. I turned around and saw that there is another door at the back. Oooooh! When I passed the back door, I took a glimpse of all the buttons besides it. Nandyan lang pala kayo, mga hinayupak na buttons!

I was avoiding conversation as much as I can. But the damn driver of the taxi I took going to Glorietta wouldn't let me. He asked me if he should turn left. How would I fucking know? But I said, "Oo ho. Kaliwa ho tayo." just so he wouldn't think I'm an out-of-towner. Then after a few more turns he asked again. "Sir, kaliwa ho tayo o mag-U turn tayo dito." Puta talaga ang ina niya. Hindi ko alam! I only said "U turn tayo" English kasi. Holy animals! Are we not there yet? For the last time he asked me, "Saan ho kayo bababa? Dito o doon pa?" . To stop our conversation right there and then. I told him "Dito lang ho tayo." though I'm not exactly sure if the building is Glorietta. Fortunately, it is.

Lunch was at a Vietnamese resto in Glorietta after I pestered Clara with text messages asking what's a good resto that is not in Cebu yet. I invited her to join me and to my delight she said yes. *BIG grin* But only after I cajoled her to the point of begging. hehehe... Ako siya gi-bribe ug free lunch and free one-way taxi fare. At first she insisted that I should buy coffee and look for some chiks rather than invite her for lunch. My goodness! I can't even stand a simple conversation with a taxi driver! My stomach could no longer withstand the hunger so I ordered first. After I finished and paid everything, the waitress came to my table. "Sir, tapos na ho ba kayo? Meron po kasing naghintay sa table nyo." I was strucked. Tabaaaang! Unsaon nako pagtubag sa Tagalog? I need to stay and wait for Clara. I stared at her wide-eyed for a few seconds but I still couldn't form a Tagalog sentence to answer her. "I'm waiting for somebody to join me. She should be here in a minute or two." Syit! I'm such a disappointment to my Filipino teachers. Now, I wonder how I got exempted from final exam in my Filipino 1 in college.

I finally experienced watching movie in a THX certified theater in Greenbelt. Cinema 1 and 2 lang ang ilang THX. Salamat diay kang Clara sa pagtultol sa ako didto. Libog kaayo ang Glorietta. Daghan lusot-lusot to other malls and department stores. Although, the movie, Ultraviolet, was a big big disappointment, I was thrilled nonetheless to feel the pure bass of THX shaking the movie chairs.

P.S.
I have seen women wither after marriage. I've also seen some who blossomed. But I've never seen someone blossomed sooo beautifully and sooo attractively until I met Clara yesterday. Mingsamot ug kagwapa unya mingsexy pag-ayo. tsk tsk tsk. Ataya! Wala nasayang ang free lunch. hehehehe World peace, Clara!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

akong miga

naa koy miga
gwapa
ang iyang pahiyum
makabuslot ug brip
kung siya motutok
sus, ang akong bukog
murag mangadugmok




pirmi lang magtabisay
ang akong laway
labi na kung magpadunghay
sa iyang buhok unya dayon ug labyog
padung sa iyang abaga
haaaay! manggahi akong lawas
unya panington ug bugbog








kanus-a kaha ni siya nako ma-angkon?
sa ako ra gyud tingaling mga damgo
ug kada buntag kung magtanga
sige huna-huna
kung unsa kanindot kami duha
maglabing-labing, magsweet-sweet
unsaon na lang. kapait!

palihug, sagpaa ko
para makamata sa kani nga damgo
magsakit lang ako ulo
nga bisan unsaon
dili gyud mi magkadayon
maypa na lang mokaon
para mawala ning gutom
ug malimpyo ang utok
sa mga butang dili dapat ihinuktok

Friday, March 10, 2006

long time

I have a lady friend. Well, I got lots of them. *big grin* But this particular one was dumped by her boyfriend 5 months ago without any explanation. He just did and I know how heartbroken and devastated she's been. Although she can't help herself if she became frail at cajoles and annoying taunts (It's like that in the office. Everybody wants to pester everybody else), I specially admired her for standing up and showing courage to go on even if she had to endure seeing the only person that captured her heart every single working day! (Syit, drama!)

After 5 months, he just realized that it's time to explain what happened and set a date to talk to her. I know exactly where and when but I'm not going to tell. (Dili ko tsismoso ha. hehe)

My point here is not to talk about both of them but for one simple fact that guys really take a long, long, long looooong time to analyze emotions. The reason is we never really lay down on bed all night just to sort how we feel. We set emotions aside, try to do things as we always do them everyday and let it catch up after a while. A while doesn't mean days or weeks. It's usually in terms of months and even years.

Girls, on the other hand, are born with this intuition. They know exactly what they feel and had no problem confronting themselves about it, let alone talking to other girl friends about it. Guys would find it extermely difficult to deal with this matter. Our best buddies would know our dirtiest secrets but never our innermost feelings.

Let's just pray for her. (Hoy, Aneshka! Nindot nani nga rason para mag-ampo ha? Ayaw na reklamo.)

p.s.
dili lang ta magsaba-saba ani sa "ubang" taw ha?

Monday, March 06, 2006

virtual masseur

I have a lot to thanks Ella Rose (si masahista number 88) about. One of that is my ym chat less than an hour ago. I sounded like an expert masseur. hehehehe Pwede nako magbutang ug ad sa Sun.Star: Young and handsome hunk. All kinds of massage. Hotel/clinic service 24hrs.

sizzling_284: hi
sizzling_284: kmusta?
ako: okei lang
ako: kaw musta?
sizzling_284: hehehe
ako: bag-o lang ko human kaon
sizzling_284: maayo pka
sizzling_284: ako bgo pko abot
sizzling_284: ok lng me
ako: wala pa diay ka kaon?
sizzling_284: wla pa
sizzling_284: sleepy nko
ako: kaon usa uy
ako: busy diay mo?
ako: dugay lagi ka abot
sizzling_284: yup
sizzling_284: busy kaayo
sizzling_284: mao n
sizzling_284: kpoy n gani ko
ako: mao ba?
ako: looks like u could use a massage
sizzling_284: lgi
sizzling_284: hehehe
sizzling_284: cge e massage ko beh
ako: unsa man imo ganahan?
ako: thai
ako: shiatsu
ako: or special
ako: hehehehe
sizzling_284: special lng ikaw man
sizzling_284: wla n tip ha
sizzling_284: free p gud
ako: way blema na
ako: ikaw na gyud na
sizzling_284: cge
sizzling_284: start n
ako: ako maghubo sa imong sanina or ikaw lang?
sizzling_284: ikaw lng
ako: higda na
ako: unya talikod
sizzling_284: hehehehe
sizzling_284: ok na
sizzling_284: hehehehehe
sizzling_284: k gilok
ako: ako hinay-hinayon ug hubo imo blouse
ako: ipa-ubos ug hinay-hinay ang zipper
sizzling_284: hehehehe
sizzling_284: ikaw gud
ako: unsa imo ganahan lotion or powder?
sizzling_284: ato nlng unya tinud-on beh
sizzling_284: kpoy cge og imagine
ako: hehehe
ako: mao pod
ako: sige sige
sizzling_284: when man?
sizzling_284: og asa sad?
ako: karon weekend!
sizzling_284: sa secret
ako: sa secret gyud
ako: ang-ang asa
sizzling_284: cge cge
sizzling_284: mag sbot ta
sizzling_284: hehehehe
ako: asa man imo ganahan?
sizzling_284: ikaw?
sizzling_284: n lingaw gud ko
sizzling_284: bisan kpoy ko
ako: unsa man imo gikalingawan?
sizzling_284: ikaw
sizzling_284: asa man?
ako: magsabot lang unya ta kung asa nindot
sizzling_284: bitaw
sizzling_284: sakto gud ka
sizzling_284: kung dli nka busy
ako: karon weekend?
ako: dili ka busy ana?
sizzling_284: dli n
sizzling_284: basta inig ka week end ha
ako: lagi
ako: naa man ko number nimo
sizzling_284: okies

torn

I'm in trouble. I barely have enough money left to last me until the next payday. My eyes are all sores after sleeping very late last night. (Thanks to my brand new 21-inch Sony Wega and PS2.) But a hot chick I met on the internet wants to "eyeball" tonight at SM. WHAT IN THE HEAVENS NAME SHALL I DO?!? I can't concentrate. I was torn between losing an opportunity and losing money. But what's money after all? An opportunity lost can't be covered by paycheck after paycheck (unless if its amount doubles by some kind of divine intervention. alleluhiah!). It can't be postponed coz she'll be leaving to Cagayan for good on Wednesday. Darn!

Pray for me.

Monday, February 27, 2006

television

I can't contain my excitement. I will spend my whole paycheck tomorrow for a cool 21-inch Sony Wega analog :( television set. Then, I'll get my PS2 at Bogo and will have one hell of a time playing all my games. Yipey!!! I was contemplating on buying an LCD or a plasma screen but my golly! A 17-inch display would cost me 60K++ and I will not be able to fully utilize all its amazing technology. Cable operators in this country are still using analog signals. It will just break my heart (and my pocket as well) to see stretched and grainy signals on the display.

To double my excitement, I have already ordered a Transitions photochromic lens for my glasses. It will be available by next week. Yipey! Yipey! My heart beats like that of a mice.

All I'm thinking right now is to buy the 2nd-hand National personal ref for 4K or just buy a brand new item.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

last talk

Last na gyud ni sa akong mga s.o.p. talks. Honest.

Naa ko sekreto isulti sa inyo. Ayaw lang ninyo isaba sa ubang taw ha? Not unless iya ni makaplagan ako blogsite all by herself/himself. I'm yet to tell you one s.o.p. I had.

All the time I was doing those things, I wasn't really enjoying it that much. I kept on thinking about the face of the person at the other end. Her body. Her hair. Her skin. Does she have bad breath? Does her feet smell? And what about her armpit? All these questions popping here and there would detach me from the pleasure the other end is experiencing. However, if you know the other person then it's easy to concentrate and get things done the right way.

Anyway, naka-decide ko nga dili na lang mopadayon. Ako na lang ni putlon. Hehehehe. Sowwie kaayo ha? Unbearable uwaw man diay akong dangatan kung makabalo mo.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

moaning chatter

I'm not quite finished with this s.o.t., s.o.p. thing yet. So I hope you'll bear with me.

I have met a lot of interesting gals including gal-acting individuals through cross-talk (This is pretty old. I could picture rotary phones when I remember this.), internet chat and most recently, mobile chat. I had 2 cybergfs in college and both were from the same school, Ateneo de Zamboanga University. A year ago, I met this girl from Cagayan in mobile chat and she became my "mobilegf" (err.. that doesn't sound right.) as she claimed to be. I'm such a world-class geek! It was really ridiculous and funny at the same time. I'm just in for the adventure.

It was in mobile chatting that I came to realize that a lot of women out there are in need of affection. Some would sound really hopeless. There was this chatter from Manila who invited me for an s.o.t. and insisted that I'll tell her 'I love you' almost all the time. Maybe that turned her on or she badly needed it emotionally.

There are just as many horny women out there as there are with men. A different chatter from a different city in Manila wanted to have an s.o.t. I played along but I wasn't really in the mood. Having experienced quite a handfull of these events, I became a bit good in the game. I was texting her a lot of kinky things I wanted to do with her, including my newly found Tagalog vocabulary - tinggil (the same as the bisaya term e.g. lalaruin ng dila ko ang tinggil mo), kadyot (push/pump/thrust e.g. bibilisan ko ang pagkadyot sa yo), sagad (sunk deep e.g. bumukaka ka pa para sagad lahat sa puki mo.), tamod (sperm e.g. ibubuhos ko lahat ng tamod ko sa luob ng kiki mo). Then she pleaded. "Shit! Kantutin mo na ako. Hindi ko na matiis. Ipasok mo na, pls". I teased her more and more. "Dahan2x ko ipa2sok ang ulo ng titi ko tapos ila2bas ko agad". But to my surprise she called. Maybe she wanted to talk and knew more about me. Women are usually like that. I was totally speechless when I heard, at the other end of the phone, a woman's voice moaning in pleasure. "Aaaaaaaaaah. Aaaaaaah. Oooooooh." Holy cow! Holy rooster! Holy animals! Is this her way of introduction? I waited for a couple of seconds but she didn't stop. My goodness! I didn't expect this to happen. I tried searching my mind on what's best to do but my brain shrinked into a raisin. I opened my mouth but I can't think of anything sensible to say. I decided to join her ecstatic sing-a-long. "Aaaaah. Aaaah." I shut my mouth after a few seconds. I sounded awful.

It lasted for more than a couple of minutes which seemed like eternity. After her "standing-ovation worthy" climax (Jenna Jameson will surely be green with envy), she hung up without any other words. I laid still on my bed. My breath went faster and faster. My sweaty hands still clutching the phone. I just couldn't believe what happened.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

s.o.p. & others

s.o.t. stands for sex on text while s.o.p. is sex on phone. That's for the naive and the feeling naive people out there. Don't laugh. You know who you are.

My first s.o.p. was after high school. I started to date this certain lady. We didn't have a landline back at home at that time yet so I used to sneak into a semi-private library to use the phone. Luckily, the librarian happened to be a close friend of mine, courtesy of my socio-civic organizations. Then there was this boring Saturday afternoon and I was in the library waiting for my date 3 hours earlier. The librarian asked me to fill her in coz she had an important appointmet and will be back after a couple of hours. There was no one in the library except for myself and I bet nobody in their right mind would dare to visit a library at that hour of the day and at that temperature.

I sat behind the counter and called her (my lady-friend). She was fresh from the bathroom getting ready for our date and only had a towel to cover herself. I was getting horny at the instant. (Raging hormones, I tell you) I started to dirty talk to her while massaging my crotch. Imaginations gone really really wild. I was frantically looking for old newspapers at the shelf behind me to use as a floor cover when all that jism came out. After searching the surroundings and making absolutely sure nobody will ever come, I satisfied myself. (You know what I mean.) On the other line, she had no idea what's going on. All she heard from me was constant teasing and flirting.

Monday, February 20, 2006

s.o.t.

I logged in to Globe Mobile Chat to make use of my wakefulness at 11 in the evening last Sunday. I met a lot of texters including hot112.

ako: hi there! asl? stats?
hot112: hi! i'm from Iligan. 25f sexy. what's ur #?
ako: howdy! i'm bryan(<--screen name). 26m(<--screen age. hehehe way palag ha?) taga cebu. 0927******* (dili lang nako ibutang ako number kay tingali managhan ako stalkers. hehe)
hot112: hello (using my number. mahal man gud text sa mobile chat, tag 2.50/txt)
ako: halu din. who's this?
hot112: i'm lyka 25f from Iligan
ako: nice name. r u working? hav u bin hir in cebu?
lyka: k tanks. wala me work. yap but 8s only 2 weeks lang. last year
ako: ah ok. so, wat hav u bin doing n Iligan ol dis time? wala pa gyud ko kaanha sa iligan
lyka: (after a couple of minutes silence) what do u want now?
ako: well, 8 depends on wat u can ofer. (with a big grin!)
lyka: sot tayo
ako: cge. nahan ko mofrench kis sa imo lips. isuck imo tongue nya huwap2xon imo lawas
ako: ako dayn ipadagan ako dila sa imo chin hang2d sa imo liog. ako dayn ipa2yok ug kiss imo liog
lyka: shit! lami lagi ka modala
ako: (with improved ego) hinay2xon nako paubos ug kiss imo 2toy. icircle2x nako ako dila sa imo niples. ako dayn hinayon ug bite imo niples. lamia nimo uy!
lyka: share a load sa para maglami ta. 5 na lang blin ako load para dli ta mabtin
ako: ahak uy! gamay na lang pod ako load. next time na lang uy. nyt nyt (Bata pa kaayo ko para mahimong sugar daddy!)

Kamo na lang huna-huna kung nag-unsa ko paghuman. Basta natulog ra gihapon ko in the end.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

post-heart

Valentine's gone at last. The euphoria is finally over. Thank heavens. Traffic was terrible last night. It took us twice the time to reach BTC. I just have to endure half an hour of Mark's agony. I hitched a ride with him so I made sure I sounded like I was in full sympathy with the traffic condition.

Drive-in motels took their share of clogged up traffic. Taxi lines at Jade's Court reached the corner of AS Fortuna! Lovers closely tied together at the backseat were too eager to take their turn of the room. I bet all motels share the same experience. There was a mass frenzy of sex and lust. I wonder how many gallons of sperm were ejaculated last night? I think it would be enough to sink the whole island of Cebu. And there would be enough female secretion to bathe all people in Cebu. As for me, I didn't lose a single sperm last night.

To answer the question thrown at me almost every single friend I met - I didn't have a romantic date yesterday. I don't know what made me decide to skip the opportunity. But I did not entirely skip Valentine's at all, although I was really contemplating about it for about and hour or two. I sent a valentine's text message to all my single lady friends at the stroke of midnight yesterday. I know that some are quite happy to receive something, even if it's cheap and trivial, like that. I could've sent a single rose if I have enough money. Hmmm. Maybe next time, I will collect money from them so I can buy a rose to each of them. That would be an idea. Dinner with Marie, Norman, Auxie, Cleng and Arnold at 10 Dove Street completed my night. Oh wait, actually a call from a friend is what really made my day.

Friday, February 10, 2006

hahaaaay

A big HAHAAAAY!!! Valentine's day na pod.

I couldn't remember when was the last time I went out on Valentine's Day with a sweetheart. Don't get me wrong. I always went out with a date. A prospect. But it never ended up into something serious. It seemed like a previous lifetime ago since I went out on a date with a girlfriend on Valentine's. This Tuesday is no difference at all. I would prefer staying at home rather than go out to malls and eat my entire heart out seeing all those lovers cuddling and chuckle-ing together. Hahaaaay na pod.

I've got 3 prospects this time. There's Ms. Sizzling, Ms. Js and Ms. La. I haven't met Ms. Sizzling yet but I already saw her via video conference (bless YM!) and became a regular chatmate. Ms. Js and Ms. La are both sexy and stunning. The question now is kinsa man gyud? After careful deliberation, I decided that it would be Ms. La I would be inviting for a Valentine's date. But, but, but kadumdom kos line ni Lany nga gikan pod kang Ella Rose (si masahista number 88), "Never, under any circumstances, touch it if you will not do anything about it."

I wouldn't deny the fact that men generally are afraid to face situations concerning emotions. A joke says, "Men are like mascara, they run out at the first sign of emotion." How very true indeed! I could no longer remember the last time I deliberated with myself whether or not I am ready. I was, and still am, afraid to know. There can only be 2 answers. But I guess, and people who have gone through these kind of things would agree, it's not as simple as having to answer yes or no.

I am afraid to know that I'm not yet ready. But then how the f*ck am I going to know if I'm ready or not if I'll never try and risk in the first place? I am afraid that if I'll go out with somebody, become serious with somebody, she might not be the person I'm looking for. I've been there once and it felt really, really bad breaking up with a girl and seeing her crying her heart out in front of you. I don't want that to happen again.

After giving out everything I have and failing at the end, I found it quite hard to settle. I became a coward. Counting all the worse that might happen even if I'm not there yet. I always love risks but this time around I am, to put it simply, afraid.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

shove up and down

I was lying my back on a flat bench. Legs eagle-spread and bent. Sweat trickled on every corner of my body. I was panting. I shoved up. My face twitched and I felt the weight going down again. I did it again and again until it became a rhythm. Shoved up and down, up and down. I could feel my muscles constrict and expand. It was a good feeling but I knew that sooner my arms would give up. I had to let go. I can't carry it any longer. After a few minutes which seemed like an eternity, my arms trembled. My feet jerked. I'm almost there. I gave it one last shove and let out a grunt. I remained lying on my back while catching my breath. More gush of sweat dripped on every side of my body. I just couldn't believe I did it. I was able to bench press 30 lbs. of pure metal. Yeah, it's not much but it's a big deal for me who, 3 weeks ago, can only do 10 lbs.

Wipe that smirk off your face. hehehehe... Though I wish I was doing that dirty thought you're thinking a few seconds ago. But this post would not indulge on those kind of things.

I tried at some point to exercise. 5 years ago, I remember doing sit-ups. But after counting up to 5 with the greatest of effort, I remained still and went asleep. I never did it again since then. I bought a pair of dumb bells and weights 3 years ago. And all I did with it is to stare at it every morning when I wake up and imagine myself doing the exercise. I was that lazy.

I wouldn't be caught dead going to a gym. This was what I thought at least 2 years ago. But a slow realization that I am not growing any younger changed all that. Weighed with complains of back pains, knee pains, low vigor and a lot more. Roughly 3 months ago, I couldn't keep up with Tisha's grind moves on the dancefloor. My groove would only last an hour! After that I would only be standing and swaying among the crowd. That's horrible, I tell you, considering that during the prime of my teen life, I remembered dancing the whole evening away without even thinking about sitting down.

Then there was this thing about sexual performance. (Okay, I lied. I did talk about sex.) I couldn't do straight sets anymore. After the first round, I would feel really exhausted and would need all my mind power to be able to finish the second set. It used to be a minute of breathing before going to the next round but now it seemed I need at a quarter of an hour before proceeding.

I hope I would do better for the months to come. Wish me luck. teehee

Sunday, January 01, 2006

new year! new year!


I had a feeling this is going to be a lucky year for me, aside from the fact that the chinese calendar says so. It said that all those born in the year of the snake will experience good fortunes in year 2006, the year of the dog.

To start with, I made this list. It's a pretty long list to do and buy for this year. It seemed like I'm cramming up for the things to do before 30. I'm gonna be 29 before the last quarter of this year. So, wish me luck!

Things to buy this year:
1) 3 pcs. fluffy pillow
2) electric iron. I always went to Tiya Renia's when I need extra ironing of my clothes.
3) mattress. The old ones need to go.
4) television. A close friend advised me that this would be a good buy to keep my feet on my room and not wonder in ungodly places.
5) computer. Same explanation above.
6) tennis shoes. Tennis practice would start Monday next week. I need to buy it this weekend.
7) running shoes. For gym use. Or maybe I'll decide to start doing some jogging later.
8) sandal/slipper. My second pair cannot be used further.
9) tennis racket. I'm supposed to buy a used one from Marie. But yesterday she told me that she won't be selling it. Bitch! I hope she'll made good of her promise that she's gonna help me find one.
10) second-hand Honda Civic. I always liked the 2000-2001 hunchback type. It's got a sporty look. Selling price was around 200K-250K.
11) 2 pairs of leather shoes. For office use. I never bought new ones for the last 2 years.
12) levi's jeans. Office casual every Friday now includes jeans. I have a good reason to buy.
13) guess jeans. I never liked Guess jeans. But I recently checked their store and they got those nice straight cuts and flares.
14) slacks. I was torn between buying RTW and going to a tailor. Mark suggested that for a lean body type like mine, I'm better off with custom fit. It's a good time to try.
15) golf shirts. I need lots of these. During my younger days, golf shirt is a big no-no. I always go for t-shirts. But now, these would be a good addition to my closet for office and party wear. Age does make a man...different.
16) refrigerator. The same close friend told me that since I'm really good in eating, I should have this. I'm going for personal size for my room.
17) curtain. My room really looked awful. I only got blinds, which is not enough to cover all the windows. They say it would also filter the dust coming to my room.
18) new lens for my glasses. I was drooling for the photochromic lens. I'll buy this next month.
19) cabinet/drawer. For storing all those craps laying on my room.
20) guitar. This could be a wishful item but who knows. I might start doing some guitar session few months from now.

Things to do this year:
1) go to a gym. This I already did. Today is my second day and pain is all over my body.
2) learn to play tennis. My first session would start on the 16th. I'm quite excited.
3) learn to play guitar. I hope my craving would surmount my wishful thinking so I can start this as soon as possible.
4) go jogging. I was considering doing this maybe next quarter. Mactan Air Base would be a good place early in the morning.
5) try hair spa/hot oil/etc. For the first time in my life, I let my hair grew a few inches. I need to try hair grooming while I still have patience for a long hair.
6) get a girlfriend. I got a long list. I'll be dating a chatmate this Saturday, then another one a weekend after that. I hope I can find a good match sooner.
7) go to Tiya Marcelina's grave. I kept on promising myself with this but never had the time last year. I will do my best to materialize it this year.
8) attend religious activities. Lalang invited me a dozen times last year but I always said no. I should try this once in a while. Who knows, I might meet my future bride in one of those sessions.
9) go to mass as often as possible. Going to mass won't be much of a problem to me but I might have problems doing it as often as possible.
10) flourescent lamp in my room. I transferred to my room 10 months ago but until now I still didn't had my lights installed. I'm always busy during weekends. I need to do this before this month ends.
11) learn foreign language. I hope there would be a foreign language class in the company this year so I could sit in and have my lessons for free. Any foreign language will do.
12) travel within Asia or in Palawan. I will certainly do this when #6 will come true. Cambodia and Thailand are on top of my list.
13) bungee jump. I heard there's bungee jumping somewhere in Cagayan. I need to plan this middle of this year.
14) sky jump. When I have an extra 5,000 pesos and will have even a single friend interested, I'll go for this.
15) white water rafting. Cagayan, as people say, has a good course for white water rafting.
16) scuba dive. I got excited when I plan for this. I like to buy my own wet suit and get a license.
17) teach nursery or kindergarten class. This is one of my dreams. The last time I inquired about this was, I think, a couple of years ago. But schools would prefer female teachers. I was hoping an opportunity would come by this year.
18) sleep early. 12 midnight should be considered late in the evening.
19) wait for my demands from my company until 1st quarter only. Otherwise, scour the world for better opportunities.
20) meet a chatmate in Dumanjug. I was planning to meet her there Friday next week or a week after that. I'm already excited. She said that she looks prim and formal but inside she's really aggressive.
21) have somebody lick my ass. Playboy lists it as one of the top fantasies of men specially if the girl is wacking him off at the same time. I hope I can have it for free in Dumanjug.
22) when opportunity comes, never hesitate screwing a married woman. I might go to hell for this. Well, I'm not really planning to break their family or something. All I want is plain screwing around. I got 2 opportunities already. The first time I almost did but my conscience bothered me. The second time I didn't mind her at all.
23) control sexual urges. I remembered sneaking out of the office for this reason, breaking an appointment and leaving a good conversation behind for this reason. I hope I won't do that again.
24) if there's a conflict between the two prior entries, the former must prevail.

It seemed like I already got a good list for the other year to come. hehehe

Thursday, December 29, 2005

horny mama


It was my usual ride back to the city. Sleeping while the Vhire was speeding its way along the hiway had been my favorite event. I felt like being swayed in a hammock. There were only 3 of us in a row, which made our seating positions more comfortable. To my left was an elderly woman in her late 40s or early 50s. She looked like a typical mom having an appointment somewhere in the city. We would have been a few inches away from each other but she put her bag on the other side of the car seat. This gave us body contact from the waist down to the thighs. To my right was an elderly man, which was of no concern to me whatsoever. My bag was on my lap while I was listening music with my iPod. Then, I felt really sleepy.

I was completely under the spell of sleep but I occasionally woke up because my elbows would slip down and land on my seatmate's hips. I noticed that the elderly mom was also asleep. She rested her weight on the other side of the van away from me. Then I really dozed off for more than an hour. When I woke up, we were already at Consolacion but I noticed that later. What I noticed first after waking up was that my elbow was now resing on the elderly mom's hips. She was still asleep and was still leaning to the other side. I straightened myself. She woke up maybe perhaps because of my motions. She also straightened herself and did some grooming.

After that she'd become a little weirder. She would glance to my side often. I never glanced back but I could see her from the corner of my eye. She would give me a deep look. It didn't bother me at first until she did it a dozen times. I drove away the thought. Maybe she's just staring the guy in front of me. Then she made that flirtatious bouncing of her hair. She would glance side to side to deliberately make her shoulder-length hair bounce.

The van went straight to Ayala. She was a little panicky. I didn't mind her at all. I checked her fingers and couldn't find a ring. Then the man on my right went out near PLDT Mabolo. I distanced myself to her. It was then that she put her hands, palms down, beside her thighs. When the vehicle made a left turn towards Ayala, she put her hands below my thighs as if it was done by accident. I was dumbfounded. I never moved a muscle. When we're almost near Ayala terminal, I could feel her fingers wriggling under my thighs. It was tickling me and I almost jumped from my seat. She was muttering on where she was and how to go to her destination. I still didn't mind her. When the van stopped in Ayala, I immediately walked out without ever turning my back.

I was not sure if it was an opportunity missed.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

holiday of bore


PS2. Food. TV. Sleep. This was my routine during the entire Christmas break. I didn't even get to finish the new book I bought nor did I lit up any sort of firecracker. Well, never again after that fateful incident with my 1-year old nephew.

All in all, it was a bore. But I'm writing it anyway. And now I have nothing else to write.

Hmmmm... There was one time I thought of writing all my manitos and manitas here in Lear for the past 5 years. This maybe a good time to list 'em all.

Year 2000. My first manito was Fabs. I gave him a McJim leather wallet. (Thanks ylan, for the correction.)
Year 2001. Jojo Graciano was my manito. I gave hime a hunting knife.
Year 2002. Gugs was my manita. I gave her an Alanis Morisette original CD.
Year 2003. Christmas was spent in U.S.
Year 2004. Ting was my manita. I gave her a pearl bracelet.
Year 2005. Macelle was my manita after a scheming plot. I gave her a leather belt and an umbrella.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

albums

My friends and my manito had been very generous to me. They all gave me original music albums for Christmas. I was excited considering that I never bought a single album this year.


Being a manito to Earl, he gave me Slipknot's latest, The Subliminal Verses.





Mark gave me a Gary Valenciano's Greatest Hits.







Ma'am Elline and Fabs gave me Coldplay's A Rush Of Blood To The Head.







Tag gave me 2 albums! Nirvana's Nevermind and Maroon5's Songs About Jane.









Now, I got 5 reasons to smile this Christmas.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

700 for what?

It was a Sunday before the holiday break. It was the loneliest Sunday I can remember so far. It was still 8 in the evening. I already took my dinner and left with nothing else to do. Lapulapu can be such a boring place in situations like this. No decent malls or even coffee shops to hang out. I decided to go to an internet cafe to update my blog.

The internet cafe I was in had enclosed cubicle in all of their stations except for the butt down which is visible to everyone else. But everyone else were inside the cubicle so no one really cared except perhaps those people walking on the aisle looking for vacant stations. As soon as I entered the cubicle, kinky scenes were playing in my head. And the thought of updating this blog had vanished into thin air.

I immediately logged in mIRC. I know. I know. This is quite the "dino-era" chatsite but a lot of people still use this. And I'm surprised that a lot of Bisdaks still visit the #cebu channel and of course, the #cebusex channel. It's still packing up with chatters but mostly were in their early teens. As the night grew less younger, a lot of 20-something chatters joined in. But only one chatter captured my attention.

Joyce. A 19-year old student. She was living in an apartment-type boarding house in "Private" area, in front of South Bus Terminal. She was a tease. We each had our webcam and saw each other's face. She was a real turn-on. Pretty with sumptuous and sexy body. Intelligence didn't matter anymore. I was drooling. The chat went deeper until she asked to see my underwear. I was getting a boner in an instant. Good thing I wore a nice pair of white sports brief, which made the erection less concealing. I stood up, opened my pant's zipper and showed her my undies. Then she asked if she can see my dick. I hesitated for a moment. The picture of my dick all over the internet and people's inboxes didn't look like a good scene at all. She begged and finally, I gave in. I just made sure I won't expose everything all at once. At first, I only showed her the lower half, covering the other half with my hand. Then, I point straight the head towards the cam so she'll only see the head. It lasted for almost a minute. I hate to admit it but it was turning me on. Would that make me an exhibitionist?

I demanded to see her tits but the internet cafe she's in didn't have cubicles. I was already burning. I asked her if I can see her that night. She agreed and said that I have to bring 700 pesos. She's going to meet me in the gasoline station in front of South Bus Terminal. I didn't bother to ask what the 700 pesos was for.

I went home to change clothes. I decided not to bring my wallet. My pocket only contains 7 pieces of 100-peso bills and a few bucks for my fare. I was a bit afraid I would be duped and would end up beaten and a hold-up victim. But I still took my chances. Indeed, she's really gorgeous. I got what I came for.

She led me to her boarding house and to her room. Her roommate was out for the weekend and won't be back until the next day. She asked for the 700 pesos. I gave her the money and understood that she's for hire. She took my shirt off and massaged my crotch. Damn. She was good. I hugged her and grabbed her ass. She let go. She said that I can only touch her tits. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All the time I thought 700 would bring me to heaven that night. I asked if what's the price if it's "all the way". 2,000 was her reply. I told her that 700 was all I got. She said that she can wack me off while I caressed her tits. I agreed but the thrill already subsided.

The end.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

backlog

Okay. I owe this site a lot. I haven't been posting for quite sometime. The holidays took most of my time - dance practice, department christmas party and the company's christmas party plus buying gifts for my godchildren, and a lot more. A lot of interesting things had happened back then. I hope I captured all of those in my limited memory bank. Drat! I can't even remember the exact dates. I'll just put a phony date. I might be lucky. The posts from this point onward won't have the accurate date the event happened unless explicitly specified in the post.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

change look

I'm not really metrosexual like some of the guys but I want to change image. I always cut my hair really really short. On my previous blogsite, I tried coming up with an English term for semi-opaw: "semi bald, not-so-bald, almost bald, or bald but not there yet". hehehe

I don't look nice in a long hair. That I learned a long long time ago but these days I like to see a different me when standing face to face with a mirror. I also have my goatee and mustache. I wonder how long I can keep this look until I feel despicable.








The red hairband costs me 5 pesos at Opon market. I only wear it though when I'm in my room.

This is how my hair looks when I'm at the office.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

crazy? or unwell?

I hate to admit it but some times I get in touch and come face to face with my emotional side. It usually starts with a single event that leads into a ripple effect. All this time I thought I had this figured out. I'll say this for a fact that I'm such a B-I-G moron when it comes to dealing with emotions. Thus, the lag on my entries. At my old blog, it would take me around 3 months to muster the will to write an entry.

Why would things get so complicated when it came to this part? I see things in black and white. Period. But when emotions came into consideration it seemed like there's the whole spectrum of colors to deal with. When would it ever end? It's really that simple to understand but why, oh why, can't I make it stop? I'm no longer wishing, let alone, hoping, but still something is in there that I don't know and it's like making me insane.

One time, I was about to go to sleep when a pang of desolation came over me. There's something I need to do and I don't know what. Or something that I wanted but can't seem to figure out what exactly it is. I ended up banging my head on my pillow 'til my foolishness drove me to sleep.
Well, psychiatric help is just a phone away. hehehe...

Friday, October 21, 2005

side effect no. 2

I need to rest. The antibiotics are not doing me any good. I wonder what will become of me tomorrow.

--------------------o0o--------------------
delete. delete. delete.

Mingbasa kog balik unya giluod man ko...
--------------------o0o--------------------

side effect

It is official. After working 5 years in this company, I'm finally non-billable. Nada. Null. Void. Nil. Nix. Zero. Like a house rat, I'm only good for nothing but stealing for cheese. Or a leech that only lives to suck blood. Or fungi growing carelessly on a strap of a Victorinox watch. (I miss that watch. *sniff*) Well, I couldn't care less. As long as those paychecks keep on coming. My future, you say? To hell with that. I'm living each day like it would be my last... Don't really try to grasp what I'm talking here, okay. I'm having tonsilitis and I think those 500-mg antibiotics are taking its toll on my brain.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

drip-drop


I wasn't really thirsty but I drank around half liter of water before I went home yesterday. Big mistake! I got a hyper-active bladder that matched with my voracious stomach. So what happened is that my body would try to secrete it in just a few minutes. But some other times, the liquid, urine, i mean, doesn't come out all at once. It would go out squirt by squirt in a time interval. Yesterday evening was no difference.

After brushing my teeth and doing my pre-sleep chore, I started to feel urinating. The bathroom is about 5 meters away from my room. I've no problem doing it the first time. But then came the second rush, then the third, and the fourth. Until I became sleepy but I can't sleep with urine on my bladder. I lose count on how many times I went to the bathroom that night. I was beginning to get pissed off.

I really don't know what kind of logic came into me(for sure, it wasn't a coherent one). The next thing I know was that I was reaching for the old newspaper I placed on the uninhabited upper deck of my bed. I took out a few pages and placed it above my trash can. I tapped the hollow center such that it will form into a sphere. After doing it, I felt another rush of urine urging for release. I aimed my piss to the concave, thinking that it will just be a few drops and will be absorbed by the paper. A few drops came out followed by another few drops, then a few drops more until I felt that there's more coming. I stopped and folded the newspaper. I really thought that everything was absorbed. But as the newspaper was folded, the piss came out sliding on the folded part and spilled into the floor. Yuck! It was a mess. I almost emptied my half-full alcohol bottle in cleaning the floor.

I hate going dumb. But in trying to appease myself for doing something as stupid as this one, I thought, well, at least it's not as gruesome as puke.

The first thing I did after waking up this morning was to bring my nose close to the floor to check if there was any stinky urine smell lingering around. Good thing there wasn't any.

Friday, October 14, 2005

text bitch

Time: 12:45am
Location: Office going to Mepz2 front gate.
Scene: Text message was received with unknown number. Below is the text conversation verbatim.

unknown #: Hi...Larga nko Manila oct.15 naa n ko work did2i'l be msin u ol,huhu... manawag ra ko. D ko kabalibad kalit2x [long gap] ang offer.. [long gap again] puli ko n BOB sa pinOY BIG BROTHER
(I don't even know who the f*ck Bob is. And even if I do, I'd never give a damn. Heck, I don't even watch the show. Well maybe because I don't have television...)
splat: kinsa man ka?
unknown #: Fanz rako รน?..Pag college..Stephany ako name.U?
splat: mga bayot ra man to ako fans. bayot pod ka? teehee..
(I don't know any bitch named Stephany in college, even in night clubs)
stephany bitch: Girl ko oi.Stil virgn pasad.U
splat: aaa bakakon ka. tanan nako kaila nga girls kay dli na virgin.. ang ako ra 4 kabuok tiya ang akng nailhan nga virgin..
stephany bitch: Kaw gud..Gusto ka ikaw una nako.Para too ka nga virgn pako.U?
splat: lami lagi na.. asa man ta kita??
stephany bitch: Kaw...Unya kaw bahala..Basn imo rako binoangan.U?
splat: kanus-a gud tawn ko nagbinoang ug mga baye.. asa man ka karon?
stephany bitch: Naa ko guadalupe..Sure ka dli ka binoang.8?
splat: ay dli tawn ko makigbinoang uy.
stephany bitch: Bantay bitaw ...
splat: unya nus-a man ta kita?
stephany bitch: Kaw..?Nus-a man imo gusto.U?
splat: inig ka sabado lang. tex lang unya ta
stephany bitch: Asa man?..Basn sakit na..
splat: sakit lang na sa permiro uy. mawala ra na kadugayan. mangita lang ta pension haus dha syudad.
stephany bitch: Na mauwaw jud ko ani..Basn nana ka asawa ha.U?
splat: dli pod ko magbinuang kung nana ko asawa uy.. ayaw lang gud kauwaw..
stephany bitch: Na ..Ambot ani oi.Hot man gud kay ka.U?
splat: wala man ko gihilantan. nanginit na diay ka diha?
(I hope she gets my line)
stephany bitch: Wala man..slep nata oi.U?Nyt2x.Swetsdreamz..
splat: nyt nyt pod. 'wetdream..

I'm gonna screw a bitch tomorrow. Woooheee!!

p.s.
clara:
splat: clara ang imong daliri kay meron HD sa akin.. mangita gyud sa ako name sa fonbuk unya magsend ug empty msg
clara: Haha, mau ba. Grr! Wa nako na lock ako fone. Gimingaw cguro ako fone nmo hehe
splat: wala man ko kadumdom nga nagka sexcapade mi sa imong fon. nakalimot lang tngali ko
clara: Basi nakatulog napud ka wa lang ka kanumdum hehe

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

syndrome

Scene 1.
Last Sunday evening I packed my office uniforms so I could bring it to Tiya Renia's for ironing. I kept on reminding myself to bring the 5 pieces of hot 'bingka' I bought. They tasted really good. I was a bit in a hurried state. When I was about to eat my dinner at Tiya Renia's, I just remembered that I forgot the 'bingka'. I didn't want it to be left till the next day coz it might spoil. I excused myself and headed back home to get those damn 'bingka'.

Scene 2.
After dining and ironing my office uniforms at Tiya Renia's, I went straight home. Later that night, I remembered that I needed to buy hair gel. I planned on going to Rose Pharmacy near Tamiya and then going to a PCI ATM nearby for some money. I needed to pay those damn credit cards. After buying the hair gel, I went straight home. When I was about to sleep, I just remembered that I forgot to withdraw money. I made another plan to do it tomorrow morning.

Scene 3.
I was on my way to MEPZ 2 front gate yesterday when I remembered that I needed to buy mineral water. I went to Rose Pharmacy again near Tamiya. I was heading to the fridge when I noticed the Quaker oats displayed on the rack. Then, I remembered that I planned on buying it sometime ago. So I stopped. Did some checking on the 2 colors of Quaker to see what's the difference. Then, I noticed other oat brands so I checked them out as well. I finally decided to buy the blue-colored Quaker oats. Went straight to the cashier, paid the item, headed outside and boarded a tricycle bound for Merkado. When I reached home, it just occured to me that I was supposed to buy mineral water and all I got is a goddamn Quaker oats. I cursed myself a thousand times, rammed through my drawer to see if I can find something that could hurt my stupid self. Arrrggghhh. I hate being a moron. I wanted to punish myself. I was thinking of banging my head on the wall but it would probably hurt. Then I saw a pair of scissors. I was thinking of bleeding my arm but it might be messy. I can't think of any other way of hurting myself without really getting... uhm hurt in the process. Sounds really crazy, I know.

I know somebody who has this kind of sickness. I call her Clara but in her blog she's called Aneshka. It's more appropriately called Sintclaire Syndrome. Now, I wonder if it is somewhat an early manifestation of Alzheimer's or if I contracted it from Clara, herself. hmmmm...

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

no cake


My world used to revolve around you. My days began and ended with you. I woshipped you, loved you and gave you all I have. Sometimes I wondered if it was enough. Though I couldn't hug you when you're sad, know that I tried my best to comfort you with the warmest words. I couldn't wipe those tears away but at those moments, I cried with you. When it came to my time and priority, you had always been second to none. But I was not there.

Remember exactly a year ago? I knew I no longer hold your heart. I was doing all I could to win you back. It was futile but I kept on hoping. Remember the cake? The watch? The flowers? The chocolates? The pair of diamond/sapphire earrings? The ankle bracelet? The bath petals? It made me a bit poorer but I wished that somehow it made you a bit happier. I was really having fun picking those choices and thinking if you'd like it. I knew you do. But I was not there.

I tried to imagine how you looked like in your dress when you described it to me. I longed for so much to see you. To see how your eyes glitter and your body giggle when you're excited about something. To see how you stomp your feet when you don't like something. To see how frightened you become when a spider crawled near you. To see how you pout your lips when you want me to do something for you. Those were heaven to me. But sadly I was not there.

There's no cake for today. Just a wish that you'll find what you're looking for. Happy birthday.


*sigh* This is what lack of sleep does to me. It turned me into an emotional dirtbag.

Monday, September 19, 2005

sex, anyone?

We had been textmates since February after I met her in a chat room. For her protection, let me call her D. She's a grade school teacher from Leyte. We had been sending text messages for quite sometime until I got bored and decided not to reply to her anymore. Then last Friday, I tried Globe unlimited text for a day for only 15 pesos. I got no one to 'text' to at that time so I ran through my celphone's phone book and 'texted' all other chatters I met online ages ago. A handful of them replied including D. She hasn't forgotten me at all. My lucky stars might have been well aligned that day because she said that she's on her way to Cebu to drop her parents off at the pier. She also said that she'll be staying for a day at the city and asked me if I'd like to meet her. A big YES was my reply. She stayed at Pacific Tourist Inn at the back of Gaisano Metro-Colon so we decided to meet up inside Gaisano Metro, Saturday 7pm. She showed up but a big disappointment crossed my yearning. She's not what I expected her to be. It's all my fault. I never asked my textmates for their statistics or face description. I thought it would be an insult. But it hit me back right at my face. Darn!

She's a tall lady, about an inch or two taller than me. White fair skin, straightened curly/wavy hair, dressed up like a teenager but she's huge, which explained the excess fat hanging on her pants. She's got pimple holes on her face, I don't know what it's called dermatologically, and she looked like she made a wrong step and fell face down on a bag of cornstarch. She's in her late 30s, I guess, but her excessive make up made her look like in mid 40s. We're not in anyway compatible in body built. She's not my type.

I was hesitating if I'll come to her and introduce myself. My celphone kept on ringing. "Asa na ka?" "Sakit na akong tiil diri ug huwat nimo." "Unsa man magpakita pa ka?" I only replied "Sorry kaayo but I chickened out." I took a jeepney to Ayala. Another message came. "Unsa mana ang chicken out?". I almost burst out into laughter had it not been for the other passengers. They might think I'm crazy. "chicken out = mingtalaw". I know she'll be furious. "Unsa man ka laki or bayot? Makasabot ra ko kung bayot ka." "Ikaw lang ra ba ang reason nganong nagstay ko ug dugay diri." The last message made my heart sober but it's already too late to go back.

ad lib: I met Tisha in Ayala with some guy friend. They look so perfect for a couple.

I had my dinner alone at Ayala and made hundreds of apologies to her. I explained that it's my first time to meet someone and that my knees were literally shaking when I'm about to approach her. I was expecting the worse but she bought my bluff. She said that she's going to the pier for the 10pm boat to Leyte. I went home and realized that I was asking Macelle earlier that day if she's interested in watching a movie with me. She replied that she, Lany and Melany might be going to SM for a last full show. I was using my alternate SIM card and when I swapped my original SIM, messages from Macelle and Lany came in. I couldn't make it anymore for the 9:30 movie. Then I swapped back my alternate SIM. D 'texted' that she's not able to make it for the 10pm boat and was back at the pension house. She asked me one last time if I would be brave enough to meet her that night. I refused. A text message from another chatmate woke me up at around 2:30 in the morning. She was telling me about something and I just replied half awake. Until I finally dozed off.

As early as 7:30 in the morning, my phone rang. It was D. I answered in a very sleepy voice and then she explained to me, like a mother explaining something important to her child, that I don't have to be ashamed or afraid. All she wanted was to meet me. She's not going to harm me or anything. Then she asked me if I can come to the pension house. I said yes. She made sure that I'm fully conscious with my commitment. I couldn't contain my urges so at around 8, I dressed up and headed straight to Pacific Tourist Inn, room 303.

I knocked. "Abli na!", was the reply from the voice inside the room. The door was not locked. There she was in a nightie but still the same make up, and half covered with a blanket. The dark room helped a lot in improving her countenance. Then came the barrage of questions. I answered them as patiently as I could. Then I told her that I needed to take a shower. When I took my clothes off she remarked that I have a sexier body than hers. She asked for my waitsline measurement and I replied, "29". She said that hers is 32.

After the shower, I wore the extra black brief I brought along with me and dug myself inside the bed cover. She mechanically put her big legs around my stomach and fondled my crotch with her thick legs. The weight of her legs around me didn't feel erotic at all so I didn't go into "super bulge". After some dry conversation, she wrapped her arms around me. I felt like a house lizard hugged by a lamp post. Things heated up eventually. All I can say is that she's a good licker. And I'm a bit ticklish when it comes to body licking. If only she can be a little bit mobile. She even offered to lick my ass, which I promptly declined. But all those time, I kept my eyes closed. I was imagining it was Angelina Jolie I'm hugging. It helped a little.

After I took a second shower, got dressed and was about to leave, she asked me how much would I pay for the fare going back to where I came from. I answered around 150. She gave me 200 and I didn't refuse the offer. Then she made more cuddling and kissing with me. When I left the pension house, I felt like a gigolo having successfully served a client. It wasn't that bad after all compared Saturday last weekend, where I have to exhaust myself with 4 rounds of self-induced orgasm to satisfy my urges.

weekends and parties

No, I am not going into an emotional epoch nor into a social withdrawal, or any of that sort, considering my last blog. I was not posting much because I was busy. I was busy planning my life - job offer, residence transfer, new work, new friends, new life. But amidst all that I was busy partying during weekends. For 5 straight weekends I was out there in the night, with friends, bars, lights, beat, bodies colliding, sweat trickling and despite the "cold" (translated as 'rainy') weather, heat was rising everywhere.

5 weekends ago, it was Harry's birthday (Cleng's brother). We went at Cleng's for some food and liquor. For unexplained reason, Auxie got tipsy after we finished a bottle of vodka and gin. She was knocking things out and making fun of herself. I lay down at the couch and she leaned herself across my body. I was not sure if she was teasing me or if it was all out of drunkeness (although I pray it was the former hehe). She kept on telling me, like drunkards do, if I am harmless because she is harmful. She added that anyone who accompany her home must sleep beside her. I could feel my cock jumping out in joy. I wondered if she noticed it. Her back was leaning tight to my stomach. I jokingly replied that I am harmless and she needed not worry because I'm gay. She didn't buy my joke. At those moment, I noticed Anne sitting at the back, observing or more likely, chaperoning if anything kinky would turn up between Auxie and me. I thought to myself, "Don't get jealous, Anne. You'll have your share. And besides your husband's here". I wonder if it was just alcohol or I was really right about Anne. Anyway, nothing happened. Jaylyn wouldn't allow me to accompany Auxie home.

4 weekends ago, I was in a birthday party at Sto. Nino village. It was Jen's (Norman's older sister). There was only a videoke to keep us sane but most importantly there was Johnny Walker (and a black label, i may add). A liter passed by quickly and we thought that was it but then another liter came out. After that there was another one. Halfway through the 3rd bottle, all 5 of us - Norman, Cleng, Anne, Marie and me - decided to go to The Village to see if anything there will amuse us. I sensed intoxication in all 5 us - uncontrollable laughter, extraordinarily loud voices that sometimes turned into outbursts, uncomprehensible exchange of thoughts (which, miracurously, were comprehended by all of us), slurred speech, and, of course, English-speaking conversations. If only I could watch us in a better perspective and sober, I could hurt my stomach laughing. It was already 2 in the morning and we expected all bars to be closed. But The Courtyard, much to our surprise, would close at 4. For 2 hours straight, we were on the dancefloor jumping and shouting more than dancing. Then Anne came close to me and seducingly invited me for a one-on-one dance trip. I gladly accepted the challenge. There were brushing of lips, sly caressing of boobs, butt fondling and lots of hugging. If her husband saw us, I would be dead right there and then. We ended at 3:30 in the morning, argued for an hour if we were to eat burger or noodles or drink coffee and then, holding a beer in plastic cups, throw the contents of it all over us. Smelling beer and cigarette, we went home at around 5 in the morning, no burger or noddles or coffee to sober us down.

3 weekends ago, a Friday night, I found myself in The Courtyard, again. This time it's with Tisha and Mulay. After a cup of coffee at Starbucks, Ayala, we decided to heat up. For the 2nd weekend around, I saw Shosho in The Courtyard with some friends. It was at this moment when it occured to me that I was not as young and as aggressive dancer as I was 10 years ago. I couldn't keep up with Tisha grinding almost all the time. My knees started to waggle after a couple of hours of grinding. I missed my younger self when dancing all day felt like a walk in the park. Tisha was paired back and forth by Mulay and me (she did it with ease and grace) until Mulay met some girl who started to dirty dance with him. So Tisha was left with me. We did ballroom dancing or whatever it's called. I'm not into ballroom. Party ended at 4 in the morning. Hot chocolate at Bo's before heading home. On a Saturday night, I was expecting a long nice sleep but Marie, Cleng and Auxie came home at around 11 in the evening. They dragged me and Norman for a ride. We planned to dine at Formo, a hip new restobar at Banilad Town Center. But when we got there, we felt so underdressed. We're only wearing shorts and shirts while people there are in there party attire. We skipped Formo and headed to Yellow Cab. We went in the parking lot between The Village and NEC with pizza and beer. They planned to go to The Courtyard but I swear to them that I will not be going in there that night over my dead body. So we stayed in the parking lot until we consumed our pizza and beer. We dropped Cleng home and headed to Auxie's place. We decided to have a night in there. Since we were all sober, nothing kinky happened. On Sunday evening, we headed to USC-TC. It was USC founder's day and Anne got a ticket for us for a free dinner. There were mardigras, followed by dancing performances and then by pantomimes. It was already 9 and dinner hadn't been served yet. Damn SVDs. I was dressed up expecting to dine with former instructors and SVD priests. But packed meal was served. We were only given puso, pork barbecue and pansit. Inatay!

2 weekends ago, I thought I would never go disco dancing again. Well, maybe after a month rest. Tisha invited me for a boracay (hard liquor, condensed milk, coffee and probably chocolate powder - mixed and stirred) in her apartment. Brian and Jeffrey were also there and Charo, of course. Brian brought a guitar, which he expertly strung to some alternative music. At 10, Mulay invited us for another dance session at Pump (formerly Jukebox). I was about to say no but Tisha was quite excited about dancing. So I gave my approval. Charo went along. Brian and Jeffrey had to go home. Not much has changed in the interior of Pump, except for the podium, which used to stage local bands, that is now part of the dance floor. Mulay was with some lady friends. Tisha, Charo and me were going wild on the dancefloor. Tisha was all out when it comes to dancing. It was Charo that I still need some coaxing. Maybe if we had consumed a gallon of beer that wouldn't be much of a problem. It was a big responsibility on my part to dirty dance with 2 ladies. I did all I can so that no one would be left out or feel left out. At the same time, I was doing all I can not to be tempted with my urges. I cannot deny the fact that I'm dancing between these ladies. The idea turned me on. However, knowing another fact that they are my friends and a close one for that matter, turned, whatever kinky idea I have, off. We simply needed more alcohol and perhaps some candy. hehehehe. I dubbed Tisha, The Grind Queen, at that night. Though I still need to tell her that. We ended at around 3 in the morning.

Last weekend, we went to Kahayag to chill out with some underground local bands, thank heavens. And what do you know, it was Tisha, Mulay and me, again. I say we were spending weekends prodigally until Tisha goes out of the country for good. Not much happened that night. Went home at around 2am.